To link pocket money to school effort?

[Arriett]

Cost of living and planning for a special holiday next year means we don’t have as much spare cash at the moment.

We have a big family: DC4 (YR), SC11 (Y6), SC10 (Y5) and SC9 (Y4). We have SC every other weekend and holidays. We all enjoy going on family days out but they inevitably end up in a gift shop with four kids whining for tat, same for supermarkets, fairgrounds, petrol stations… Often it’s discarded in the footwell before we even get home, and because SC aren’t here much and we’re often busy when they are, toys are barely played with.

I’d like to link some of their pocket money to effort with school. SC have apps for maths and English so we can see how much they do, and all have reading diaries. That way we can get them GoHenry cards and they can spend as they wish and it will help with their budgeting, they can open a savings pot, learn about interest, learn the value of money… And make me feel like less of a cash cow every other weekend.

We would still buy anything they need, this would be for extras.

How much pocket money do most people give at these ages?

* before anyone asks, DP is on board. He usually just says no to any requests so SC often come to me as I’m more likely to say yes *

I think you are better off to set amounts and stop them if they have behaviour issues. Easier to explain why they didn't get £5 if they have been rude/naughty than why someone got more for a grade in a different year group.

Overall it cost me less, as now when she asks for something random or robux etc I just tell her to buy it herself. I still treat her is she's done something really good or got an award. I thinks it's harder as she's only with me 50% of the time

I agree. Although I also used to have ways they could earn more if they wanted to. Not by basic “chores”-they were a given in our household but by extras.

I was thinking £10 basic each month, with £1 removed for any instances of bad behaviour, but the option to “earn” more - maybe up to £30 more? - with homework effort.

This all sounds very complicated! Set amount of pocket money, they use that if they want to buy anything.
As for reading, you cannot make children enjoy it. Encourage them yes, but don't make it into a weapon!
I love reading, as does one of my (adult) sons. The others read when it is necessary, but rarely for pleasure.

These are primary age kids.
Totally different.

Well you don't actually. I don't know any normal job ( not some high flying director) that you get to choose what you want to do rather than what your employer wants you to do

It all adds up so fast… A teddy in a gift shop is easily £15 so £60 for everyone! Four magazines is over £20 easily.

Then you need to say a firm "no".

No idea of 'going rates' but we do the following:

KS1 (reception to y2) - £2 a week
KS2 (y3 to y6) - £3 a week
KS3 (y7 to y9) - £4 a week
KS4 (from y10) - will go to £5 a week

currently my kids are y6 and y9 and we started in Reception.
at the start they squandered their money in crap magazines, sweets and whatever Sparkle world, animals and me, my little pony etc.

They they started to think - is this really worth 2 weeks pocket money?

Now they can save for bigger purchases (of if something they want sooner we can to a 'interest free loan' - have done for a box set and for cosplay)

they learnt to handle money, learnt the value of it - i still treat them but other times (eg the cosplay) i said i would pay £15 towards it and it was up to them to find what they wanted to buy and they would pay the rest.

both have enough now to go and hang out with friends, to get chips at nandos or a boba somewhere and be ok...

Ah and we use Hyperjar cards (given when they turn 11)

100% this. Both mine squandered on bloody robux at first. Ds1 also went through a phase where he tried to buy friendships.

Now both are very sober and thoughtful consumers and budgeters. Ds1 saved for 2 years to buy a big budget item (second hand i-phone) using his savings and Christmas money. He was very focused on this as his goal.

Exactly, I was spending about £30 a week on random tat for her so I set a realistic pocket money amount - she also pays for her monthly robux subscription from this.

For a day out I tend to still buy her a tear from the gift shop but anything else she wants she has to pay for.

She is quite good as spending some of this on me too - she'll often say 'i'll buy you a coffee' or she's get me a keyring, sweets etc 😅

You do get to choose, because if there’s something you really don’t want to do then you don’t take a job that involves it!

Well I do, but obviously not all the time, so it’s worth their while to try their luck.

I don’t blame them!

That’s insane. My DD gets £20 a month and she’s 15!

Are they ND? ADHD?

All jobs involve elements we don’t like.

(25+ years in HR is my evidence.)

I know i keep coming back to this but why are you buying expensive gift shop things, that is unnecessary.

Nothing diagnosed, two have been assessed for dyslexia and the other for ADHD but nothing conclusive.

They’ve all had various interventions at school and have improved loads but it doesn’t stick. I don’t think there’s any medical reason, they just don’t see the value in working hard and don’t enjoy learning. I printed off some easy Sudokus for SC11 the other day because he saw me doing one in the newspaper, and his response was “why would I do that when I could watch TV?”

I don’t every time.

When they were younger, we had more spare cash, things they wanted were cheaper, and as we don’t see them much it was nice to treat them.

They’re old enough to learn the value of money now though.

They are yes, but I think if they want an expensive thing it is absolutely ok for them to be dissapointed if they don't have enough on their cards.

I would do this as long as it's purely based on effort as opposed to outcomes/ grades.

I also would include other things though like trying hard at sport/ doing chores at home or any other responsibilities so it's not purely school based.

Agreed, there’d be other opportunities by doing things like walking the dogs, washing the cars, swimming courses and so forth.

Ive stopped buying my kids tat when iut and about they have hyper jar cards. I transfer £25 each a month to them. They can buy what they want from that. Some months they spend it all on tat, some months they save up for something. Its not linked to school work or chores