AIBU noisy children

[FlamingoFloss]

I expect I shall be flamed by this. May I start by saying I’m both a mum and a Grandma.

on a long train journey (UK). I chose to upgrade to first class because I need to do work and so need the space and the quiet.

there’s a (I presume) mum and her young child (around 4 years) in front of me. The child has been singing nursery rhymes (loudly) - (I do ordinarily love a nursery rhyme and sing them with my DGD just not on a train). The child now has a tablet and is playing games which is beeping away with loud music.

i know kids need entertaining on a long journey (I’ve done it with my own) but AIU to think in a first class carriage you should be relatively quiet with children and if you feel you can’t be then sit in a ‘normal’ seat? However, I get that even in a normal seat that it could be annoying and you should still be respectful of others but hopefully you get what I mean.

I am so so with you here. Mine would have known to have been quiet but equally if I felt they were being noisy I’d have taken them outside so as not to disturb

In my work I am seeing such entitled young people coming through. What on earth will this next generation be like?

Sadly this is where I am at nowadays. People really don’t seem to understand that they should watch their devices using earbuds and lower their voices when taking calls. Seen many a fight almost break out over this lately.

DH and I, and both our children (18 and 21) have given up expecting polite consideration and have all bought noise excluding headphones and earbuds. We take our seats, plug-in and ignore everyone now. No point trying to fight it as no one really cares anymore.

Kids are different and some find it easier to keep still and quiet than others. Mine are restless kids and so was I. I don’t think we should be judgy that a 5 year old needs some sort of entertainment for something long and dull like a train journey.

But there are plenty of options for the twitchy type of kid that don’t disturb others - books, colouring, chatting. Or headphones if need be. And if these options aren’t suitable (like in a wedding ceremony) then the answer is you don’t take the child.

YABU to expect different behaviour from them just because they’re in first class (kids have equal entitlement to be there if parents have paid for it) but definitely NBU to expect him to wear headphones regardless of where they are sitting. I would have asked immediately when the iPad without headphones went on, completely unacceptable.

We and they were taught how to behave. That all seems so sadly outdated nowadays.

The issue is that you can’t expect children to behave differently when the teenagers and adults around them are noisy, rude and disrespectful. It isn’t the children who make all of the noise on the trains I travel on - its teens, young people watching tiktoks, drunk men on the way to sporting events and hen parties who’ve already warmed up before getting on the mid afternoon train and are even worse on the return. All ‘good natured’ but we used to have guards who would corral these groups into one carriage and manage down the behaviour. Guards are only interested in issuing ticket fines for travelling on the wrong route and people don’t care that their group is disruptive.

And don’t get me started on the early morning commuters with their conference calls, business meetings and snotty re manspreading or the women applying full make up, and the full macDonalds meals…

Sigh. I am getting old. But noise excluding earbuds do help.

We’re all paying the price for this gentle/permissive parenting malarkey where children are not told “no”.

It does make you wonder. We’re all paying the price for all this gentle/permissive parenting malarkey where children are not told “no”

Indeed. The last time we travelled from London to Brighton (we usually drive but decided on the train as a “treat”) we were unfortunate enough to be in the same carriage as a Hen party of women who had clearly been drinking (I love a drink btw) long before they got on the train. Everyone was looking on in horror and embarrassment as they wove their way up and down the carriage screaming and shouting and recounting very private stories about their sex lives. One then threw up all over the floor and down herself. This was the bride-to-be and this was at about 11am. No one told them to pipe down.

We're a doomed. 😕

😱

I'm with you about people being noisy on trains, but your attitude of 'banish them to standard class' is appalling.

Are people less deserving of a reasonably quiet journey because they can't afford to travel first class?

Honestly, yes. If you pay extra, you expect certain standards.

you aren’t wrong, its pure bad manners to be using the tablet with sound on.

first class isn’t a quiet carriage but then at the same time, you shouldn’t be being subjected to rowdy behaviour even if it is from a toddler.

people are just so selfish nowadays. Poor kids also having its brain rotted.

Oh here we go, yet another thread bashing parents for something or other. So many perfect parents out in force again. “Back in my day we did this or that blah blah”

Perhaps parents feel the need to keep their children entertained “all the time” due to all the judgement they receive!!!

Newsflash. “Back in the day” kids were ‘taught to behave’ (cough obedience instilled by fear cough). Yeah, not cool anymore. Today’s parents don’t want their children to fear them. That doesn’t mean the children don’t behave or have boundaries (let’s not make this about permissive parenting because it’s not). My children are very well behaved but would struggle to sit still for a long train journey. Hence therefore I would take something for them to do. No adults sit on a long train journey without a phone to look at / a newspaper / a book. Be realistic and less judgemental

I don’t give my daughter a tablet on public transport. She entertains herself - by singing nursery rhymes really loudly 😂

You need to book the quiet carriage not first class

Badly behaved children are annoying but this child doesn't sound outrageously badly behaved. I expect the mother chose first class because of the extra space. You should have spoken up if it was excessively loud and asked the parent to quieten down the tablet volume or give the child headphones. . Or you could have a word with the train staff to ask if there is space in quiet carriage for yourself. It is unreasonable to suggest that those in standard class should be subjected to excessive noise, if it was excessive.. it was a behaviour issue not a class issue

There are 927277228 posts about kids being loud and watching their iPads at volume but today I was in a branch of Costa (inside a Next) and a woman who was approx 70+ was blasting out news about Harry and Megan in full volume to the point I could still hear it half way down the escalator to the ground floor. If I was on a train journey though I’d have my own headphones to block out the noise of the public on a long journey..

There seems to be this thing now where young people have their phone on speaker when making calls and don’t hold it to their ear which is the normal thing to do! And people watching videos/tiktok etc or listening to music without headphones. It just seems to be the way it’s done now. It’s bloody annoying! There seems to be real lack of social awareness. Is it as a result of Covid when we were all cooped up so long and lost some social skills? (Or never learned them in the case of young kids). I can tolerate a certain amount of noise and boisterousness, I’m a mum to a pre-teen myself. But I draw the line at noisy devices and unnecessarily loud shouty conversations.

Yanbu. Tablet without headphones is so inconsiderate of other passengers. I would definitely have said something.

The national rail website says that:

"First Class carriages offer comfort and space, often with larger tables and reclining seats and sometimes with complimentary food and drink, newspapers and other perks."

It doesn't sell first class or offer it as a quiet carriage. It's still public transport. There is still going to be noise from other people.

Unless it's a sleeper train, or they are shouting, being loud, aggressive, and/or intoxicated, then YABU.

I don't think travelling first class makes you any more deserving of quiet.
I don't think it's ok to play a device without headphones in any class.

Kids shouldn’t have tablets full stop. On trains or off them. Similarly though, I’d ban work calls on trains and in cafes.