Is this a strange/offencive gift?

[moanycoo]

I have a client couple whom ive got to know over a few years. I see them weekly at home.
I got to know and love their Dcat. All our chats were about her, always made a big fuss each week. Cat died, quite young suddenly a couple of months ago. The couple just got engaged.
Here's the question... I am a very amateur artist. I joined a club and have painted the cat. Now it looks quite good, i'm really chuffed. Its not an uncanny resemblance but you can tell its her. Could I cause offence by framing it and gifting it to them as part of their engagement gift? Thoughtful or weird??

I lost 2 cats 4 weeks apart. My mom bless her went & got the picture I used as a missing poster of one of the cats blown up & put on a canvas. It is Still in the box I cannot look at it. I never found his body I was devastated, was told he had died we think bin men picked him up even though they are meant to keep for 7 days, he was gone even the dog warden looked for him. RIP Archie 22yrs & Jack7ish yrs

@Ohnoyoudont2
It wasn't as a way of not buying a gift, its as well as a voucher.

I mean, do you need to give them anything? Are engagement presents even a thing? Especially as they’re clients of yours, rather than close friends or immediate family, and it’s not that this couple just got married, only engaged?

I certainly don’t think you’re being stingy. I’d just give them a card, but I don’t think anything is needed other than congratulations.

I would definitely ask first. People can vary greatly. My friend commissioned a painting of her dog after she died. However after our dog died my aunt sent my Dad a birthday card with a picture of a similar dog. He went mad saying how insensitive it was and he didn't need the reminder on his birthday.

I’m not sure as it depends on your relationship and also what they are like.
Personally I would find it a bit odd, but I am not a cat or even a pet kind of person so I’ve never experienced or been able to fully understand the connection people have with their pets.

What if they hate it? Will they feel that they have to put it on the wall? If they do, then you're deciding their decor. I don't think giving art is a good idea.

I used to paint pet portraits professionally, and many of the animals had died. FRequently when presented with their painting it made them very tearful, so you may want to consider this.

Not really

Sorry but absolutely not. Amateur artists should not be gifting their paintings to anyone unless you know that person very very well and they will love whatever you give them. Amateur paintings are always cringy and "pick-me", no matter how great you feel it turned out. The subtext is that you want other people to admire your secret talent or expect compliments on your work which is something nobody wants to give to a hobbyist. If the subject is neutral and the execution genuinely great, then it would be acceptable. But gifting someone a painting of an extremely emotional subject is hugely embarrassing for all.

There is also no intrinsic value of anything painted by a hobby artist. It's comparable to a child gifting a school drawing to their mum. The fact you spent hours painting something that is emotional to them, and then gifted them the painting expecting them to shower you with compliments and put it up somewhere in their house like a child to a parents is so awkward to contemplate.

Most people don't mind receiving gifts from professional artists. It's a fun token of generosity, such as a dinner party created by a chef or a performance by musician at a special private event. Even so, professional artists will make sure the piece is usually a sketch, a watercolour speedpaint or something that clearly took less than 1-2 hours to make. A full colour painting implies hours and hours working on a subject matter which is a strangely intimate process. It's weird, obsessive and stalkerish to do that with a pet from someone you don't know intimately well.

Honestly, I wouldn't.

After my dog died I got TWO portraits of him gifted to me. Both gifters had decided to commision them without my knowledge.

I wasn't that keen on either. They were decent enough pictures but they didn't have happy connotations to me, they weren't things I connected to him in life. If I was going to remember him I'd much rather have had a small photo on the dresser of an actual memory rather than these big things on my wall. They didn't really fit in right anywhere I tried to put them.

Eventually they went to the landfill with a fair amount of guilt.

Shame you couldn’t have had it stuffed for them.

i think it would have been weird and possibly a little upsetting.

My son's cat fell out of a window and died. My daughter (his sis) painted and framed a small painting (from a photo she had of the cat) My son and his wife loved it. So I think it's a very nice thing to give themBUTI would give it separately, not as part of an engagement gift.

That’s completely different to someone’s PT giving them a painting of their dead cat as an engagement gift 🤣

I would tell them about the painting and ask them if they wanted it. I don't think you should give it as an engagement present. It wouldn't be suitable as the cat has died.

Ask them if you could paint the cat. If they say yes, then do it. Otherwise it’s just weird. Definitely no to making it an anniversary gift.

Personally I would love it BUT me and my husband are fucking weird. If someone gave me this I would try and acquire them as a friend.

Maybe just try asking them if they would appreciate a picture of the cat or not

It's not an appropriate engagement gift. Those gifts are positive and looking to the future sort of gifts, if indeed ppl need engagement gifts at all, I'm not so sure. Maybe a great bottle of whisky or champagne to toast future wedding etc but no, not a painting if their cat.

It's a lovely gift to just give in friendship however anytime.

This is adorable 🥰

I'm surprised that only @Poulaphooka has asked the question "are engagement presents even a thing?"

Are they?? I'm in my late 50s and have never heard of it beyond, perhaps, immediate family 🤔

As a dog lover I'd love such a gift. I know they are a young couple but I don't see how they could find it offensive. They don't have to have it on show in their living room even, they could put it somewhere private. Go for it!

Personally i’d be delighted to receive such a thoughtful gift

My dog died suddenly young op. Some friends gave me photos they had, I hated it, it upset me so so much, it took me a long time to look at photos of him without being upset. Losing a pet can be brutal, I’d really tread carefully here. I think putting in a card or sending the picture is really tactless. Reminding them of their loss. Wait for a good amount of time, then offer it.

Have you ever lost a pet young and suddenly?

Its a lovely gift but not associated with their engagement. Just give it to them, and dont bother with an engagement gift.