Is this a strange/offencive gift?

[moanycoo]

I have a client couple whom ive got to know over a few years. I see them weekly at home.
I got to know and love their Dcat. All our chats were about her, always made a big fuss each week. Cat died, quite young suddenly a couple of months ago. The couple just got engaged.
Here's the question... I am a very amateur artist. I joined a club and have painted the cat. Now it looks quite good, i'm really chuffed. Its not an uncanny resemblance but you can tell its her. Could I cause offence by framing it and gifting it to them as part of their engagement gift? Thoughtful or weird??

I'm not sure about this. People are often their own worst critics, and are often far more talented than they give themselves credit for!
(That said, I'm sure we all know a few deluded souls).

Honestly, I think it would be a lovely gift, but not for an engagement.

I would show it to them and say they are welcome to have it, but no problem if they would rather not.

Sorry but no, I wouldn't want to be gifted a picture of my dead pet, especially as an engagement present. I would find it quite a shock. You're well intentioned but you don't know how it will be received so I just wouldn't risk it.

I do pet portrait commissions sometimes... I really hate doing ones of animals who have passed, because you really really have to get them perfectly, somehow more so than an animal who is still alive.

So I think unless you can hand on heart say this is professional quality, someone who didn't know the cat would instantly say 'oh yes thats the same cat as in this photo' when faced with both painting and reference image... I would not gift it as an engagement present.

I might.. at some point in the future say 'I painted your cat would you like to see' and then if they like it, they can have it.

You also have to consider that unless you gift something fully mounted and framed, you are giving the recipient a fairly expensive obligation, framing is not cheap.

You sound very thoughtful OP but I think it's a bit off the mark for an engagement gift or even a card. I don't think it needs to be linked to this and can't think of a good reason why that would be beneficial.

As others have said it does depend how good the painting actually is I think, if the quality and resemblance is there then I would consider giving as a separate gift, with some context such as a note or conversation expressing that I miss the pet and think of her/him often so wanted to paint them, hope you like it but don't feel obliged to keep it if it isn't to your taste type of thing. That takes some of the awkwardness out of it.

I would like it. Like a few have said I would just make it a general gift though nothing to do with the engagement

I think you need to think about if this couple are friends or clients. If you socialise with them as well as seeing them in a professional capacity, then I'd say they are friends. If you see them once a week in a purely professional capacity, then they are clients. You can still like a client, be friendly but essentially they are clients, not friends.

Would it be appropriate to give clients an engagement present....no. Would it be appropriate to give friends an engagement present...yes. Would you give a client a painting of their deceased cat.... absolutely not. Would you give a friend a painting of their deceased cat....very much depends on how you think they'd react.

The fact you are not sure on the right choice suggests to me that this couple is a client, and actually you don't know them enough on a personal level. If you did, you'd know which choice to make.

I'd love it, maybe not as an engagement related gift, just as a lovely shared memory. My dad made our cat's little grave marker when he died (cat not dad), he carved it himself from wood and it's one of my favourite things he's given us. I think it's a lovely thing to give to them, but maybe as a "thanks for the lovely cat cuddles, I miss her too" not as a "wahoo you're getting married"

Perpetrator?

I wouldn't gift people home decor in general. I assume you'd be hurt if it was never displayed? This makes it awkward for them if they don't want to display it (as they may not want to, even if it is a nice painting). The postcard idea is much better. 😊

@moanycoo well if I was the recipient I would love it and would be flattered

I’d like it, I’d think it was thoughtful.

I think a print of the picture on a card might be the best idea.

Yes. Some of it is criminal.

It’s very thoughtful and I’m sure they’ll like it but don’t give it as an engagement gift. Just say, I painted this for you in memory of Dcat.

You really don’t have to be in any way an ‘oddball’ to not be enthused at receiving a framed, ‘very amateur’ portrait of your deceased pet as a present from your personal trainer, who comes to your house weekly and will notice whether it’s not on display. Especially when even its painter admits the likeness isn’t up to much.

I’d find it really weird if my pt gave me a painting of my dead cat for my engagement. How did you decide to paint that cat in the first place? Someone mentioned overinvestment and I’d agree.

I was given a surprise portrait of my cats, I was delighted.

"There were three of us in this marriage. Me, my fiancé, and an undead cat."

I would feel cursed by such an object!

I appreciate the good intention, but such a portrait ill suits a celebration of a new phase of life.

I’d love that. It’s a picture of something they loved. It’s a sweet and original gift- engagement or otherwise. I bet they’ll love it.

I must be weird because I don't think it's weird at all to give people art that you've made yourself. I think it's great.

Also, everyone I know loves their cats and dogs dearly and would be pleased and happy to get a portrait of a beloved creature who had died. I think it would be a lovely engagement present.

Oh my God please do NOT DO THIS😂what a cheapskate gift to give someone. Look at me, I'm so coooolllll 😅Just be normal and get them a normal engagement present.

If you really must inflict your amateur production on them do so casually, hey I made this I thought you might like it. Do NOT frame it ffs as if you expect them to have to hang it.

Don't ever try to choose something that they will be forced by way of politeness to hang up on a wall or look at every day if they do not want to, it's such bad manners.

Not an engagement gift, surely?

You'd be touched by something you thought was hideous, cheap, the opposite of your taste? The reality is you do not know if they will like your picture. They might truly loathe it. Even if you are the new Rembrandt, they might not like it. Art is incredibly subjective.

Definitely not framed, you can give it to them casually if you like.

Printed off as a card as someone suggested is a nice idea actually, because cards only have to stay up for a few weeks and can be tucked way in a box or binned later. And then if they do like it they can in fact keep it.

But for the love of God, unless you are poor and in the habit of hand making gifts for people and everyone knows this about you, please do NOT give your hand made macrame coasters to someone as an engagement gift (yes, hand made macrame coasters and your framed amateur picture is a good comparison).

I think I’d go with the card, and if they gush over it, offer them the original.