Partner never wants to do anything …Aibu?

[inkyspells]

My partner works 8-4 Monday to friday
Then 1 out of 2 Saturdays 9-1
Anytime I suggest doing anything he says “no I only get that time off I want to rest “
I booked as a surprise a night away on Saturday and he’s told me to cancel it.
What makes me laugh is two weeks ago he finished work at 1pm and drove 4 hours down the other end of the country for a work meeting the next day -stayed up with his work colleagues till 3am ..to start a conference at 8am
Then drank till 1 am that night as well.

So he’s too tired to do anything on a weekend but will happily do that?
aibu to think that’s rubbish?
so we just never do anything on a weekend and he just sleeps then ? Or lies in bed
Aibu ?

I think he should be single so he can relax to his heart's content. Why have a partner if you can never do anything together? What does he bring to your life exactly?

He doesn't seem to want to participate in a relationship with you but wants all the benefits without the effort.

Bin him. Do better.

YANBU - he sounds boring.

He’s told me to take a friend
I don’t apparently take his feelings into consideration blah blah
We are going on holiday in 8 weeks
Why is that not enough ?
It is enough …I just wanted a night away that’s it

I had a boyfriend exactly like this and honestly, I just realised he didnt actually like me that much. I filled a girlfriend shaped hole in his life, and he liked the comfort of me, and he behaved devastated when we broke up, but it wasnt about ME, because how could it have been when he didnt actually want to do anything with me? He just liked the fact he could access comfort, company, sex, when he wanted.

You are going on holiday why do you need a weekend away too?

I would leave a partner who booked a weekend away as a surprise when they know I wouldn't want to go.

Do you work?

How long have you been together?

I’m sorry, I have one the same. I’ve realised he has no interest in spending time with me outside normal spouse activities-dinner, sex, watch telly. I’ve tried to bond over his interests, but it’s not working. I’ve asked for couples counselling as a last resort, and so I can move on essentially. It’s lonely isn’t it? It’s also embarrassing when other partnerships seem to enjoy each others time.

Git rid, he adds nothing to your life.

Sorry to hear that. Look after yourself.

@FoxtrotOscarKindaDay a night away not a weekend ,and because we are going on holiday 2 months means we don’t have to do anything else ? Yes i do work -my issue is he is fine when he’s doing other things with his work friends so …

It is possible to go away more than once a year - most people enjoy it! You should try it!

You two do not sound compatible - move on!

in what way, exactly , does he enhance your life?

Seriously, life is too short for such nonsense.

Be single and do what floats your boat…… and you may even find someone who grabs life with both hands.

I would expect him to want to do something with you on the weekends he has the Saturday and Sunday off. I think it’s fair to want to relax on the Sunday on the weekend he works.
Do you spend time at home together? My husband and I might not go out, but we would get a takeaway together and watch a film etc.

I like to have one day at the weekend free so I can go to the gym, do housework, potter around the house etc. Doing stuff each day of the weekend I find tiring as I commute to work (3 hours a day) four days a week.

Maybe it’s a wider conversation about why he doesn’t want to do anything with you at the weekend, as that’s not fair.

I think this one has run its course. Time for a very honest conversation. He doesn’t want to spend time with you. Big red flag. 🚩

He’s said we have a big holiday coming up and that should be enough.
We don’t have to go out any weekends until our holiday

He gets in from work and goes to bed
We eat tea in bed
Hes taken the firestick upstairs and that’s it
I am so bored
My mum passed away at 41 with breast cancer
Im getting near that age and in the back of my head I want to live my life while I can,she missed out on so much and I just want to have a nice life

You are not on the same page, and your frustration will grow about his non participation in much together apart from holidays. Do you have date nights or a day out or anything?

I'm old now and my DH is getting a bit stuck in his ways! I often have to push him to get moving, but when he does, he really enjoys it. It's mostly days out and nice lunches by the sea etc. Typical old farts 😊 I think it's more the effort of getting going that is the problem in my "Victor Meldrew's" case. If he digs the heels in, I'll head off by myself, but that's only occasionally. And I enjoy my own company aswell. Luckily...

It can take a while for a woman to leave. How long have you felt this way?

What makes you think I don't go away? No need to be so rude. Wasn't talking to you.

Good grief, why is he going to bed after finishing work at 4pm? He’s hardly working long days, just normal hours. That would bore me to tears.
How do you feel about moving on from him OP?

Neither of you are wrong but you have different wants in life and are not compatible.
How long have you been together? Do you have DC?

He finishes work at 4 then just goes to bed? every day?
Nah fuck that!

😂

As long as you don't go away more than once a year I suppose that's allowed... Can't spoil ourselves too much!