At what age does it stop being acceptable to be smashing a ball against a wall on a quiet Sunday morning in a residential area?

[Watermelonsugar44]

We have lived next door to a family with a son who is obsessed with playing “tennis “ against the wall for about 10 years now.

He hits the ball at about serve level intensity.

It wasn’t too bad when he was younger as it was mainly after school and also our son who is a bit younger also used to play football outside, so although it was a bit annoying, it was understandable.

It got a bit worse around GCSEs and a levels as he obviously had more spare time, so would be thwacking it multiple times a day into the evening and starting about 8am usually.

He is now at uni (hoorah) but seems to be home a lot, still thwacking multiple hours of the day. He must be 19+ by now….

He hits it against his garage wall which is right next to our kitchen and office where my husband works from home and our bedroom above.

He shows no signs of stopping. He doesn’t seem to go out or see friends ever, or work.

We have never said anything because I’ve always presumed it’s just a phase and prefer to keep the peace, but this is ridiculous isn’t it?

Which is why I haven’t asked him to stop, or mentioned it.

It is still annoying though, and the question was what age does it stop being acceptable. As an adult you have more awareness of how your actions affect others.

Duration changes everything. It's ten minutes. That's not a problem at all.

what age does it stop being acceptable. As an adult you have more awareness of how your actions affect others.

I would guess that would depend on whether or not he does have special needs and, if so, how severe they are.

You've said both that he doesn't seem to go out and that you see him walking alone around the village a lot, so which is it, and what's. your assessment?

I personally don't think 10 minute sessions are unreasonable, but if you do, why not mention that pleasantly to the parents and see what they say?

He probably has absolutely no idea the noise is a problem. There are some noises are that universally considered annoying like a child screaming or shouting (and yet lots of parents want to normalise that for the sake of kids having fun). Many people who play sports are so used to the sound of balls hitting and may not even hear that anything. Some people may like the sound of a tennis or basketball because it reminds them of their youth.

Tbh it's a pretty far reach to imply this boy has special needs. He sounds like a perfectly normal boy who got into tennis, spent his teens playing and practices for 10mins daily in his own garden. Autistic boys also rarely get into tennis which is a very social sport and requires constant interactions with other people like trainers, opponents, teammates etc. Even casual games involve a lot of small talk while playing so it's the last sport ASD boys would enjoy.

For 5-10 minutes a time, age is irrelevant. It isn't unacceptable unless of course it was in the middle of the night.

You are a misery

I'd say age is relevant because a child under 16 might be expected to be playing in their own garden, whereas over that age they could go to the local sports centre or park alone without needing a parent to supervise whenever they felt the need to smash the ball.

I'd have a quiet word with his parents, OP. They might not realise how loud it sounds over your side.

I think I’d go out there right now and tell him if he hits that ball off the fucking wall one more time ….!

Go to the local sports centre... for 5 minutes? Seriously?

Then what..?

If he took his ball to the sports centre he could probably be there all day if he wanted to. He's probably been told not to do it for too long where he is because the neighbours are just as irritated by the noise as OP is.

You're not making much sense. He isn't playing tennis with other people is he? And although most autistics are sensory avoidant (all my family) I know one autistic boy who is sensory seeking and has episodes of throwing himself at walls. This sounds like a similar thing.

I would at least avoid saying anything until he's finished uni. It may not seem like such a big thing to most people but this is obviously a huge part of his life and a way of controlling stress. I would avoid upsetting him at the moment.

No idea, depends what he decides to do. Might just be a lad who’s never thought to be considerate of his neighbours, or a brat who’d just keep on bashing the ball. Hopefully the former, at age 19 though.

If he doesn't go out and doesn't seem to do anything other than practice tennis, What's he going to do if he can no longer practice?

For 5 minutes? Honestly the OP just sounds moany

probably about 6 times per day ranging from 8/9 am to 8/9 pm for 5-10 mins!

So about six episodes per day, of up to 10 minutes?

I think YABU now, I thought you meant it was ongoing for a long time.

He’s been doing it for 10 years. Probably just sick of it.

And I'm sure other neighbours were sick of her kids kicking a football... but said nothing.

He's using his garden for less than an hour a day during normal daytime hours. Some people just find anything to moan about

This is the key point: He's using his garden for less than an hour a day during normal daytime hours

There's nothing you could report, the council would never consider it an issue.

I get it op. If someone operated a leaf blower outside my window six times a day for ten minutes or so, it would be quite intrusive. Especially when the timings aren’t always predictable,

If I knew it was going to be one hour a day at a predictable time, I could take evasive action.

Some people shouldn't live near neighbours 🙄

I’ll live in your peaceful country location for a week and you live here and then call me a misery

You know you can always... not live there

How would he know if you never said something nor has anyone else?

You’ve had 10 years to mention it and chose not to. That’s really on you for not mentioning it to his parents.

Genius