School admissions perpetuating the patriarchy?

[Burntt]

Is it just my LA or is it normal during the admissions process to only allow one parent to be involved? I don’t see how it’s fair to refuse to share the information with more than one parent. This dumps the admin solely onto one parent…. Which is usually the mother.

How is this happening in this day and age? If parents are supposed to be equally involved they should actually be able to be so! This system dumps it all on one parent usually the mother, and then excludes the other/father who is given the ok/expectation that this life admin for his child isn’t his responsibility it’s the mums.

What do you mean only allowing 1 parent to be involved? There is only application per child, that can be done by either parent, usually the resident parent if separated. It's expected that parents decide together what the preference order is for schools admissions.

What would you like to see done in practice?

Not sure exactly how it’s being restricted. When we applied for schools we both had equal opportunity to attend school open days etc and then the online application form could be completed by either of us. I actually submitted it but we went through it together and was quite simple. Do you have a more complex
admissions process?

I suspect that they don't want to have to deal with warring parents. So they effectively say, "sort it out between yourselves and then one of you communicate with us".

So you expect them to tell both parents individually? What a waste of time and effort that would be!

We had 2 schools within a reasonable distance. We put them down in order of preference. That was it. No more than a 5 minute job. Did we miss something?

This system dumps it all on one parent usually the mother, and then excludes the other/father who is given the ok/expectation that this life admin for his child isn’t his responsibility it’s the mums.

What on earth are you talking about. This whole paragraph is complete nonsense.

You make one application for your child's school place normally via an online portal that doesn't require you to be a mother to access. Are you suggesting they should send information to two separate emails, two separate acceptance notifications and each child should have an application made by both parents...

My husband applied for our child's school place I had no input beyond discussing the schools with him. If your partner is dumping all the parenting tasks to you then it's a problem with your relationship not the application process for schools.

Both parents should be informed of the offered place and able to accept it/put child on waiting lists not just the one who applies. Our LA were really difficult with me today as I wasn’t the parent who applied and I was unable to accept the school place. It just made me think this is the start of one parent being designated school admin parent

And what if one accepts and one rejects?

Which I can see being a real struggle for LAs. But even then it’s reasonable for them to add a second parent to the email so they are informed about their child. Particularly important if communication is poor between the parents I’d say

And in today's episode of Monumental Reaches.....

Not really for separated parents. It’s designating one parent admin parent

We have had non resident parents reject school places on behalf of a resident parent, which caused lots of problems and work. I wonder if this is a reason for only dealing with one parent.

Because it’s a one person job. Otherwise it just makes much more complex system - even more so when the parents have poor relationships!

So what happens if in your hypothetical nonsense world the two parents cannot agree on a school place or one wants to accept the place and the other decline... You haven't given this much thought at all.

They just have to have one email address on record per child. The email you choose to use is up to you. If this is likely to cause you concern I’d suggest that at this point you create a new shared email address that you use for child/school admin and then you can both access any messages. This could be useful for things like after school clubs and activities also.

The actual school application process is fairly light on admin. Just submit the application online and confirm the place offered.
At our schools we’ve been able to have both parents emails on record.

Then it’s a matter for family court I guess. My point is about the admin burden being only one parent due to how the system works

School admin is completely separate to applications. Ours has a code to an account for each child so you can both access it all. We can both do the army and receive communications etc.

You think a better solution is a child waiting in limbo for months with no school place whilst it's all hashed out in court? Really?

But it’s such a simple thing why does it need more than one person to do it? You seem dead set on over complicating the system!

It’s not about the parents who cannot agree. Surely for most children their parent an agree on the school together even if separate. It’s about the admin then inly being able to be done by the parent who applies originally

This is just the admission .. not the rest of the Child’s school career. Schools will send stuff to both parents, will facilitate seperate parents chats… this is not the first rodeo, school are used to working with seperate parents, both amicable and not.

Those saying it’s a simple system. It’s really not when you have a child with SEN

Are you separated or still together with other parent?

If together, create a joint email address. That way both parents can receive everything. How you respond is between you and the other parent.

But what if one parent accepts and other doesn't? Councils have enough to do without negotiating between parents with differing views.

Unless you have an EHCP it’s exactly the same process for children with SEN.