What phrase do you hear ALL THE TIME during your working day, that makes you want to scream?!

[Ilovemychocolate]

So I’m a childminder.
Whilst out with the kids (presently four 2 year olds) I hear “you’ve got your hands full” multiple times a day!
Over and over again, and it’s SO hard to react with a smile sometimes! (But I do obviously)
When I worked in shops it was “printed it this morning!” if someone handed me a fresh note.
So what do you hear constantly whilst working, that makes you scream inside?!

Until recently “ 3-2-1 Star” and all the other TLAC nonsense in schools along with “tuck your shirt in “ and “unroll your skirt”. Now I’ve retired it’s “ooh, so you're a lady of leisure now!” That makes me want to poke people’s eyes out.

I couldn't submit my assignment because of "technical difficulties"

No sweetheart, I can tell from the logs you didn't even bother to log in until an hour after the assignment was due. I can also tell that you spectacularly failed to read the upload instructions that are prominantly displayed in multiple places INCLUDING links to videos that step you through the process. It's not hard, it's basically the same as attaching a file to an email. Nxt time try dragging yourself out of bed before the 2pm deadline

These were a while ago…
on an NHS ward
Doing the tea round. Ooh have you got gin?
Doing breakfast at every bed. Every Day. What have you got? The same toast and cereal options we a) have every day and b) that I have just gone through with the bloke 6 feet away.
Me In retail, 3,000 times a day: have you got your loyalty card?
Arghhh

If I phone certain people upwards of six times in one shift, I always get hiya, are you OK? Altogether it could be 30 times in one shift. Even if I spoke to them 5 mins ago.

In play. As in Jane’s in play now meaning she knows about the project and is now assigned to it.

it spreads like wildfire any corporate bollocks at my place but also any word that a senior person says. I heard a word that I use (not a wanky one but not one that others use) used by one of the directors in a meeting and others are using it now.

‘Can you reach out’

Obviously. Basically touching base

‘We need to keep all our balls in the air’! Don’t ask what picture it conjures up!!

‘Can I kindly ask’.
‘Can I gently remind you’
’I’ll call a meeting’.

I genuinely believe that people who organise meetings of any kind should be rounded up and sent to Rwanda.

’Are you busy?’ … inevitably yes, please just tell me the headline of your request so i can tell if it’s a priority over my other stuff!

"Two things can be true at the same time."

Two things. What about three things? Or four?

Yep, "do you have bandwidth?" 🙄
What happened to "do you have time?"

bitch, bastard and fucking. Worked with tradies , that is why I left. Low moral man scum

Yes Yes Yes. I work in a school and am sick of emails saying “gentle reminder to…” just remind us fgs, it doesn’t need to be gentle.

In my workplace, we are also regularly asked to "pivot" to a new task

We need to "leverage" that. Not "make best use of", or "take advantage of", it is always "leverage".

It always makes me think of a seesaw.

Is it yourself who deals with ….
If you have questions, please contact Mary or I.
Her and Mary do x, y and z.

ARGH!!!

"There's a piece around...."

Said as a criticism by my ex manager every single day. Drove me insane

Hundred percent. Usually the word they should use is "yes".

'Educating'

Who doesn't love a bit of condescension with their morning coffee?

"To meet the needs of the service "
A top get out clause /cavet when you ask for family friendly working
Which they recruit staff on...
And are then told.. it won't work.
Because. "Needs of service"

I work in the NHS . It’s not quite daily - can you walk up a flight of stairs ( mobility & cardio respiratory check ). I live in a bungalow !

Fully f*ing funded, or in English, earning your wage 😡🙄

“reach out” drives me mad, can’t we just “contact”?
“Moving forward” as “in future” seemingly isn’t enough.
“It’s just a small ask” which will take me half a day.

I work as a creative so everything is ‘agile’