AIBU to feel deflated after payday despite a decent salary?

[Wtfisisfor]

Do you ever just get paid and think seriously is this it… I got paid this morning 3100 was put into my account, I transferred 1400 to the joint for bills and household expenses. And I’m left with the rest, but when I look at it, I just think, is this it? Anyone else? Just feeling a bit defeated today! I know to some people this is a lot of money. But these days it really doesn’t feel like it. Come and join for a moan

1700 left so

700 - savings
150 - fuel
250 - mums birthday gift and dinner out for the family (significant birthday!)
60 - physiotherapist
100 - dc summer clothes (just a few bits)
300 - holiday savings

thats 1560 so that’s 140 to do anything for me…I like to go to yoga once a week so that’s 10 a class…that’s 40 based on 4 weeks. No doubt something else will crop up like a dentist appointment or whatever.

dh will pay towards holiday too and all dc’s activities. Etc.

really living the high life

No but the point is it’s lovely to put more into retirement but also there are uses for that money now that aren’t simply “men, wine and song”.

House deposit is one good example.

So what if others have less?

You can still feel deflated. When I was on minimum wage with almost all my salary going on rent I still had more than a homeless person but still felt deflated.

£250 on a gift is insane. This is all spending on you!!!

I have no problem with people earning more than me.

My issue is when they then start to complain that they have no money and they’re broke! £1,700 a month in disposable income is more than I earn in a year!

This is my main bug bear. I give huge chunks to government and see very little in quality of services. I still have to budget meticulously.

So what is £10k take home per month being spent on if you can’t afford a holiday?

Thank you.

🤷🏻 Privatising utilities, subprime mortgages in the US, Austerity politics, Brexit, Liz Truss, Covid, war, a belief that taking benefits off poor people was going to make everyone else rich.

Labour are unpopular because they are a government no longer trying to pretend that ‘this’ or ‘that’ will make it all better, they are being realistic. Perhaps more realistic than most can handle. For those to the right it’s too easy to pass off years of right-wing mismanagement as Starmer’s fault because he’s currently holding the parcel and the music has stopped. Those to the left pinned all their dreams to a utopia where a Labour government equals better pay and more security, they feel betrayed when that can’t happen.

When realistic is too difficult, some want a fairy Godmother character who tells you it will all be okay, you can go to the ball. Reform are trying to be a fairy godmother. However, their experience in local government is anything to go by, they can’t give you a carriage because the provided pumpkin is too small and that’s not their fault, probably the asylum seekers have taken the biggest ones, yeah it’s their fault we promised what we could deliver …… and the ball gown will need to be more of a cocktail dress because it turns out there’s not enough polyester for both a ball gown and a flag on every street corner.

I'm not sure that's always true.

I've worked at Director level and Dr's Receptionist, shop assistant and clearly saw that few jobs are stress free..just some FAR better paid. Lots of people are doing amazing work for very little reward and I'm incredibly grateful our taxes are paying for them ...social care staff, care assistants in hospitals, care homes and so many more ...hard hard 12 hour shifts ..giving so much to others.

The idea that the 'higher' you go the more stressful is in my view unfounded. I can work from home as I please (respond to sickness that way and more). Leave early etc..

I don't want tent cities or people being bankrupted by health costs or foregoing insulin or cancer treatment, I want disabled people to have day care etc etc. You get the point

I want a flourishing NHS and safety net and dignified society...because if we destroy that we will still pay but direct in the world we experience around us.

Wow... 1700 is my monthly salary.. DH earns similar. By the time we've paid Rent, and all the bills, filled our car up so we can actually get to work to earn our meagre pittance, there's barely enough left to feed us. So yeah, I feel very 'meh' when I've worked hard all month and have nothing left to spend on holidays, meals out, physio, birthday presents... and as for savings... no chance!!!! So yes... YABVU. Be grateful you have plenty leftover to play with.

I’m told it is very much worse in the US despite people trying to claim that capitalism is thriving over there

The point is always that nobody resent other people earning more than them. It’s perceived value.
Financial Services always comes up they are the masters of the universe aren’t they? Whereas actually they had very little value to most people’s lives and yet are disproportionately rewarded.
You could also insert footballers models actors
But more day-to-day basis every Manager I have ever come across did fuck all except delegate their job to the rest of the team
And it used to be that you served your time and then you became the manager that got to delegate the jobs. But currently people are doing three peoples jobs because there’s not enough staff to delegate to.

I believe this is due to shareholders not wanting to spend money on salaries that they could pocket themselves

Yeah I dont get this... youve clearly made choices in life to be at this point where you have a household income which is huge but cant afford a holiday... huge mortgage? Expensive cars? Private school? Like I said in my last post, I pay what I feel is a big mortgage but thats what I need to remind myself when i say i "dont have any money left..."

Because you're choosing to put a THOUSAND pounds into savings! That's your choice and then you're complaining about it?

And you spent £100 on 'a few bits' of summer clothes? That's a huge financial decision for many families. I do think you need a little perspective.

The 250 is the gift and dinner for the 4 of us and covering a part of dm’s meal

Sorry. Reread and realised you maxed your pension already

But the OP didn’t say they were broke - they were feeling a bit defeated, particularly as that money goes nowhere near as far as it did just a couple of years ago. That’s objectively true, they are not being unreasonable. The cost of living is hitting almost all of us and we’re allowed to feel disheartened at times that our quality of life is sliding backwards so quickly.

I am relieved/fortunate I can pay my bills but not grateful. I am grateful that I am in good health and able to work.

But when I leave the house at 7:30 5 days a week and get home at 6 and often do work in the evening and weekend on top, I am not grateful I can pay my bills - that is the minimum I would expect and think I should be able to have a decent amount left after to enjoy a decent quality of life

i might have the wrong end of the stick here but I’m really struggling to see what the issue is if both you and your partner have £1700 left each after you have paid all your bills. That’s a significant amount of money and means you are very comfortable. I work on a job where I deal with people who are mostly claiming benefits and working and can only imagine how delighted they would be to have this much money each month! My friend who has split up from her partner recently will have less than £50 per month disposable income when she moves into her new home. But like I say think I just have the wrong end of the stick

I knew this comment would appear, the classic British crab mentality (tall poppy syndrome). We've been conditioned to accept crap wages for so long that instead of fighting for more we would rather attach other people and pull them down.

Because you didn't get any bonus while you were in the public sector doesn't mean she isn't right to be upset that she ends up with so little after earning that amount of bonus.

OP stated £250 for a gift AND a family meal out. I wouldn’t call that insane. I have two teenagers and a bog standard meal out for four costs us £200 (including a couple of drinks each for DH and I). Plus, it’s for a significant birthday for a close family member.

I'm sorry to say that you have absolutely nothing to moan about financially. This is definitely a decent sum to live off.

You either need to adjust your expectations what you supposedly deserve in life or massively put your foot on the career pedal and start climbing up whatever ladder you're on fast with all the sacrifices that come with it for family life etc.

As others have said there's probably some underlying issue here which isn't about the money. Thank God you can afford counselling to explore why you're disatisfied with what appears to the outside like a perfectly decent life.

£1700 pm is a generous amount of disposable income especially if your DP/DH has a similar amount too. Combined, that's £3.4K disposable household income AFTER all household bills. Apart from fuel and half of DC's clothing, everything else is a luxury imo. I would either be bumping up my pension contributions and mortgage payments or spending more on holidays/hobbies/experiences (to be less miserable). You need to change your mindset to a more positive one else find a better paying job (easier said than done I realise). Your gross indiviudal income must be around the £50K mark and presumeably, your joint household income is £100K+? Why do you feel that you aren't well off? With such a large disposable income, you can choose to pay down your mortgage debt considerably.

i don't have £1,700 before bills, I am retired and thankfully mortgage free but I have never had much money such is life .

People saying the OP should feel happy with her lot are incredibly short sighted!!

The less money we have, the less we spend in society and the less money circulates.

Piling money into pensions and cutting back hours does not benefit the economy today. I am not spending as much because:

• Stamp duty to move is a loss in personal wealth - moving would support construction workers and others. (One poster has said the high level tax means they can’t afford a shed in their garden now - no one needs a shed but that’s money not being spent on local businesses)
• VAT on school fees means I’m spending less on holiday clubs and out of school activities - I can no longer justify it
• Cut back on eating out and hospitality because it is no longer worth it in the UK.

I don’t need any of these things! However, my money is not contributing to the economy any longer - it’s just remaining in investments and pensions, and it wouldn’t have a few years ago.

TBH - once mine have finished schooling, I’m tempted to move overseas. I have private income too and I’ll get a better quality of life for less cost and stress. I’m sure some posters will say good riddance but it is a very bad situation to be in when our taxation doesn’t encourage us to strive to do better.