AIBU to think my husband was too aggressive with a canvasser?

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We’ve had a few door knockers recently with local elections approaching. These are usually during late afternoon/early evening before DH is back from work.

Today, someone knocked slightly later and DH answered. He ranted at this person about various gripes with the country today (it was someone supporting a Labour candidate), not letting them get a word in and then said who he’d be voting for and ‘unless you change to that party, don’t fucking come back’.

He has some genuine gripes with Labour, he’s a business owner who has not been helped. But I think he was too strong.

His view is that if people want to knock on random doors, they should be prepared to face some strong words.

I wouldn’t go for the language, but if you come knocking on my door in the evening and want to talk politics then I am going to tell you my exact thoughts. I’m not going to just listen to someone preach or be “educated”.

They’ll be used to it.

Just get one of the stickers /'no canvassers, no cold calling, no religious groups etc' and save the poor canvasser earache and your husband raising his blood pressure. Work wonders we hardly ever get mithered now.

Probably a lot nicer then what I would have said tbh

He sounds like a prat. A firm 'i'm not interested' will suffice.

Why does he expect help just because he's a business owner?

Most canvassers have a copy of the electoral roll…this means they know your name & where you live. I ask all canvassers for their own name and address before I let them speak.
As for the original posters husband dissing labour… I’d literally tell any Tory or reform character to fukk right off .. then fukk off a bit further!

He was far more polite than I’d have been.

I think that's awful actually, ranting and swearing at someone at the doorstep is aggressive and uncalled for, and I'd feel let down by both his behaviour and the spurious justifications afterwards.

If he feels that strongly about being politically let down, why doesn't he write polite letters about it to the relevant people using effective language to try and enact change rather than having a tantrum at the doorstep - or does the latter just make him feel big and clever? Nobody forced him to answer, nobody forced him to engage, and tbh I'm surprised they didn't just walk off. Knocking on doors is annoying but it's not abusive, what he did was.

There’s absolutely no need whatsoever to be an aggressive dickhead to people who are simply engaging in the democratic process.

And no doubt you then whinge on about how no political party ever knocks on your door.

I deliver leaflets for the political party I support. When I started doing it I was surprised and pretty hurt by the vitriol I was met with, merely for sharing information. I've grown a much thicker skin now but it might be worth reminding your DH that even if he doesn't agree with the party's politics, that is an actual person in front of him, not some cipher without feelings.

My mother used to say she was voting for every one who knocked so they didn't come back or stand on the doorstep too long.

I used to have a job where I had to occasionally deal with angry members of the public so I really hate hearing someone shouting at a stranger and excusing it as it’s something they signed up for. There’s a difference between giving them views about their party that they probably don’t want to hear and berating them.

Why would anyone whinge about that?

There is plenty of ways to seek information now on political parties without the intrusion of them knocking on your door.

We have a no cold caller sticker on the door and I have to admit, I was pretty rude when someone knocked, then continued knocking, waking me up from a night shift once. There is absolutely no need to go door knocking now a days

Who on earth whinges about not getting them knocking on the door? In the 16 years in this house no-one has ever knocked on the door during an election period!

He sounds like a rude aggressive cunt. I would hate to be married to someone like that.
Healthy, reasoned debate. Fine.
Aggression. Dick head behaviour.

No need for this rude and verbally abusive behaviour. He had three options.

Don't answer the door.
Answer and politely say you aren't interested.
Answer and engage in a civil conversation.

I had a canvasser at the door yesterday. I just said "No thank you" and shut the door.
No need to shout at anyone.

Lots of people. "You only come calling when there's an election".

Democracy is fragile. It depends upon engagement. Political parties in the UK depend upon volunteers and we are spread thinly. We can't come knocking every couple of weeks to ask about your bins.

We are real people with a commitment to democracy. If you dont want to vote for us, that's fine. But the performative aggression that some people are so proud of makes it less and less likely that women will be involved in politics.

Ask yourself how much better life will be when only aggressive men are involved in politics.

He sounds needlessly rude and aggressive.

I'm going to guess the canvasser was a woman, elderly person or young person, not a 6ft 30 year old man.

I don’t particularly like people knocking on my door late in the evening or really any time I’m not expecting them too.

But then it’s important in a democracy for parties to be able to campaign fairly and directly to local people.

People who do the canvassing do it voluntarily and include very young people, very old people and everyone in between - they’re in a vulnerable position and shouldn’t be berated for doing this work. “Not interested” will do fine if he wants to dismiss them quickly.

I say please leave Im not interested through my ring doorbell.
I live on my own so I dont engage with door steppers.

You’d be surprised. It’s quite a common complaint. Parties try and cover the whole ward if they can but it isn’t their fault if people are out when they call.

Lol.

You just did the virtual equivalent of what he did.

Pot/ kettle/ black

I just don’t let the conversation start. I don’t even really need to know what it is they are selling/pushing, not interested. It doesn’t need to be an argument, after I say no thanks, that’s the end of it for me, I’m closing the door and walking away. They can stand there talking to themselves if they like but I’m not participating.