AIBU to think my husband was too aggressive with a canvasser?

[Avocoffee]

We’ve had a few door knockers recently with local elections approaching. These are usually during late afternoon/early evening before DH is back from work.

Today, someone knocked slightly later and DH answered. He ranted at this person about various gripes with the country today (it was someone supporting a Labour candidate), not letting them get a word in and then said who he’d be voting for and ‘unless you change to that party, don’t fucking come back’.

He has some genuine gripes with Labour, he’s a business owner who has not been helped. But I think he was too strong.

His view is that if people want to knock on random doors, they should be prepared to face some strong words.

I just tell them “ it’s a secret ballot “ and close the door.
No one is entitled to know how you vote.

Are you married to this man OP?! 😂

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1BSHvHGfTS/

Exactly. These are volunteers for the most part - and even if they were employees they don't deserve to be abused for doing their jobs. I am always flabbergasted by people saying things like "I've told them before not to give me a flyer", as if that sort of information would be stored and passed on.

The people who put "no junk mail/leaflets" notices on their door are a source of frustration. What sort of "leaflets"? am I to assume this means they don't want information about elections? Or is it just pizza they aren't interested in (as I'd kind of hope...). And what's "junk mail?" My bank sends me some from time to time; I can't ask the postman not to deliver it! It's particlarly gaft when they adda "Trading Standards" notice to this sticker about cold calling - what part of "trading standards" prohibits canvassing in the democratic process?😄

Is he like this on other matters? If he does not get his own way? Someone disagrees with him?

he was completely out of line. sharing his opinions firmly is obviously totally ok, but he sounds aggressive and horrible with the “don’t fucking come back” comment.

As long as Farage isn’t involved then I’ve told DH I couldn’t care less who he supports!

Well it’s more right wing than Reform and bank rolled by Elon Musk.

Going by the way he spoke to the door knocker, he’ll fit right in with the lot of them.

Frankly, your husband sounds very unpleasant. Does he have form for berating people and being rude and aggressive?

I can’t say I’ve ever heard of him!

You can be vehement without being intimidating - this goes for people both outside and inside the front door.
Intimidation, and power play, as a background atmosphere, seep through into a lot of interactions, and it would be a good move to slow this trend. People (and parties) seem to think that the reaction would simply be to raise the stakes - and that may mean raising the resistance and aggression.
I think I'd say "There is no way at all that you are going to change my mind about your party, I will be voting differently. I don't want to talk about this, and especially not here in my doorway, thanks." Then, door closed.

Only a right piece of work would behave like that, no you don't ‘get used to it’, I remember being shouted at in the street from 3 elections ago.

Put up a sign saying ‘no canvassers’ or just say no thanks. There’s no need to be a cunt.

My ex was always vile to door-to-door canvassers, salespeople, Jehovah’s Witnesses etc. I never understood it. What’s the point in getting yourself into an angry state? I’m always polite but firm. I tell opposition canvassers that I don’t agree with their policies, I tell salespeople that I’m not interested, and I tell JWs that I already have a different faith. Then I say “so I wouldn’t want to waste your time or mine”. Never had a problem, they just leave.

What sort of "leaflets"? am I to assume this means they don't want information about elections? Or is it just pizza they aren't interested in (as I'd kind of hope...).
Yes, I would count printed electioneering propaganda as something I don't want.
I would find it useful if it was a 'To the householder' communication about something like scheduled water or phone network work, where it might affect supply or the service, but those would usually come from utilities companies, as they have the responsibility to do that maintenance. If you ignored those, it could result in some mild and short-term inconvenience.

And what's "junk mail?"
I'd say it's unsolicited, and usually with a 'To the householder/ gardener/ decision maker' (if any name) rather than addressed to me.
A question to ask is whether at least 50 percent of recipients would drop it straight into the recycling bin as soon as they recognise where it came from.

The bank versions of it are annoying but I have given active consent to that company to hold my details, including my address, and post me things. If I wanted to check whether something from the bank was spam (or a spoofed item of mail, although this is rare), looking for my name and address and consistency between their normal messages would be one of the first checks I would make.

Rupert Lowe is far nastier than Farage and doesn’t have any of the charisma (and I can’t bear Nigel Farage)

However annoying the canvassers knocking is, they still deserve to be treated respectfully and not as an emotional punch bag to let rip at so id not be impressed with his behaviour either.

Sure challenge them to answer questions and give feedback why you don't intend to vote for them, but sounds like he just ranted if didn't let them get a word in.

Apart from the word fuck I think everything was reasonable.

Im going to be totally honest here, I would probably struggle not to swear if Reform turned up on my doorstep. I wouldnt tell the canvassers to fuck off, thats not acceptable, to another posters point at least they are politically engaged enough to canvass for their party and that deserves respect in itself.
But I dont see anything wrong with telling them I think Nigel Farage is a f-cking grifter who doesnt deserve to be the leader of any party because I dont believe he has any respect for anyone. But then id say it in a jovial way rather than scream and shout at them, thats not fair. And I would ask them questions i do want to know the answer to, like 'how do you feel, as part of the party, about Farage cosying up to Donald Trump all these years' as im genuinely interested!

he sounds awful. He needs to learn to get his point across without swearing and getting angry he just lets himself down.
YANBU.

Rude! But then I doubt it’s the first time!

Dont think he should have sworn. That's unnecessary.

But someone knocking and interrupting the homeowner's day in order to talk politics and convince them to vote for a particular party should expect some form of robust debate at some point or another.

I just say I don't discuss politics on the doorstep, I wouldn't swear or get cross.

DH has been known to make his feelings known, but without being rude or sweary about it.

If a reform or restore canvaser knocked on my door they would be told very clearly to get off my property and not to return! I don’t give a damn if they “are just doing their job”. No - they signed up for that they are not nieve. Anyone with their views from NF to local canvassers are not welcome at my door. They would be very clearly told that their views and party are abhorrent and they do not and will not ever stand for me.

Presumably he supports the concept of democracy? In which case, a polite but firm “no thank you” if he can’t discuss without abuse is the way forward.

Sounds the perfect response to a Labour canvasser to me.

Swearing isn't good but getting your point across is fine i think.
If people volunteer for this role then they should expect 'strong' responses and if they can't handle that then don't canvass.

No need to abuse people just doing their jobs
Is he telling him hes a massive arsehole for that and for voting restore