AIBU to think i'm being profiled by security in shops

[whyamisus]

am 24 but i get told sometimes that i look younger. i've read cases where black people got followed around by security in shops but i'm not black i'm white.. never stolen anything in my life. i can walk around different aisles and there will be the same member of staff stocking shelves. when i pay cash i get cashiers putting the note up to the light to check if it's real and thats never happened with my friend. thats happened multiple times. ill ask a member of staff where something is because im having trouble finding it and they'll side eye me and they talk to me in a way its like theyre scared of me. ive also had cashiers give me dirty looks when i approach the till or get asked to wait while someone else gets to the till.

im a woman and i dress normally, i am a tom boy and sometimes ive been asked if im a guy or a girl but i'm petite so im not big and tall or anything. my friend hasnt experienced this and shops in the same places so im wondering what the deal is. has anyone else had similar experiences?

It can be for a variety of reasons and some that don't even involve you, such as it being mandated from head office they need to follow every third person.

There is a huge upturn in fake notes in our area so I'm assuming it is likely to be everywhere which will explain the note checking.

Otherwise do you pay with £50 notes, wear long overcoats in 20C, play hide and seek with security or use a pram?

You might look very like a known shoplifter - images from CCTV are shared among shops in a local area. So it could be mistaken identity.

Of course, once you’re aware that this is happening, you try to avoid acting suspiciously, but for most of us that ends up looking weird and awkward which then looks more suspicious!

Just carry on as you are, act with confidence knowing you’re not doing anything wrong.

It’s probably happened to most of us at some point in our lives even if we’ve been oblivious at the time.

The fact it hasn’t happened to your friend (or that she hasn’t noticed) doesn’t really mean anything.

I doubt you'll be able to find out why, so best just ignore it.

Personally im a foreigner in the country I live in (not UK) and I often get suspiciously followed in shops, but so what? I've got nothing to hide and I'm not doing anything wrong, so if they want to waste their time then that's fine...

Do you think big and tall people steal more?

I don’t mean this in a shitty way but this sounds quite paranoid. Checking notes has been a thing for ages. When I worked in a shop you had to check all notes. Maybe you do look a bit shifty - you’re not shoplifting so don’t worry about it. You ask if you’re being profiled and then say nothing about you is not profile-y (like being white ) - maybe that’s why? If you’re this attuned to it because you’re worried about it you’re going to be noticing the smallest thing that maybe isn’t even happening.

My guess would be it’s because you look young enough to be a teen. Shops often tend to be suspicious of teenagers.

So couldn't it be said they would have to pick people to check otherwise they would have to check everyone?

So being paranoid wouldn't help would it?

Why have you started two threads about the same issue just minutes apart?

Unlikely most shops have cctv, if shops want to watch customers they just watch them on that

She says it seems like people are scared of her, that's why she mentions her stature, I think.

She says she’s petite, so not big and tall. Why would people be scared of her?

I still think it's because they assume she’s a teenager.

You could just be paranoid tbh.
Some staff are more diligent about checking notes, it's the note that's checked not the person. Some cashiers never check any notes, some will check every one etc.
Management have to be wary of people who look young and are browsing age restricted products eg alcohol, they'll need to be aware if a group of young people come in and split up as policy is the whole group ha to have ID to prevent potential proxy sale. There's often a decision made to ask for ID on the shop floor rather than wait for someone to select an item.

In terms of red flag behaviours that security & loss prevention staff will pick up on - things like not using a basket or trolley, having large bags, scanning the area & being aware of staff - this could potentially be what happens, staff are just doing their job and you then get concerned about them watching you so are constantly watching what staff are doing which is then a red flag for shop lifting. You would then be watched quite closely.

She means that it seems like people are scared of her but it can't be because of her stature, that's why she points out that she's petite.

Most people these days don’t talk to shop staff, self scan and pay by card. If you’re asking them where stuff is, to open a physical check out and then paying by cash (where yes it’s normal to check the notes) then I imagine the reaction from staff is more ugh hassle than she must be stealing and you’re misinterpreting it.

Just yesterday I knew I was being watched by the security guard in our local Tesco Express. I was minding my nephew who was in his pram, so I was putting my items underneath the buggy. I just happened to turn around really quickly do find security guard had moved to the aisle I was in and looking right at me. When I came to the checkout he was standing at the door and gave the cashier a look. She told me not to do self service as she would scan my items. This has never happened before. I was made to feel like a thief for putting my items on the bottom basket of the buggy.

I am 45, white female if that makes a difference.

My DD, 20 but looks 15, average height, slim, very long hair, dresses like any uni student jeans and jumper. Never touched alcohol, never tried any drugs. We travelled recently and she was pulled over both times for more thorough search, that drug wand, bags gone through upon departure, shoes off etc. Had full fingerprints taken on arrival. Both times in separate airports coming and going. My son who does dabble a bit with weed was whisked through - no fingerprints even! She was either unlucky or looked similar to someone on a watch list or whatever they call it.
I think maybe your androgynous dressing - do you wear slightly baggy clothes - may make them think shoplifter.

You could very easily have been intending to steal those items by putting them in the pram before paying for them. It’s no different from carrying them round the store in your handbag rather than taking a basket and using that. Why make it easy for them to suspect you?

That's a really common method of shoplifting. If course they were watching you!

Its a very small shop and hard enough to get around with a buggy, never mind a full basket too. When my own children were younger I always put my items under the buggy, thats what I see other people doing too. There is only a one way in and one way out system to so I don't know how he thought I was going to get by him when he was literally blocking the exit. My shopping was €16. I had nothing worth stealing or selling on.

I practically have a personal escort round the shops now I have a baby (in a pram) 😂 it doesn’t bother me because obviously they’re just trying to stop thieves.
If you’re saying you’re young/standard height, it could be that you either look like a shifty teenager (if you’re looking to see if security are looking, they’re gonna pay attention) or are you wearing ridiculously baggy clothing that they think you’re hiding items beneath?

The most likely explanation is that there’s a known shoplifter/person passing fake notes in your area and you happen to match their description. All the local shops will share intel on people they need to watch, so if you match the description the staff in different shops will all know about that person. We own cafes and will warn other local businesses about anybody who leaves without paying for example.

Or does this happen in shops outside your normal area as well?

Yep just "accidently" forget to take half the shopping out at self-scan

Oh you'd know if you were being profiled, there would be no doubt. I'm a gypsy so I'm profiled in majority of places I go and there's no question about it.

Its weird to me that shops still have security following people. Where I work they just watch them on the cameras until they get past the last point of payment then intervene. I assumed with technology and cameras everywhere that it would be the same everywhere

Sounds a bit paranoid, most people have these things happen. They check notes particularly high value ones because there are loads of forgeries out there and these days shoplifting is so rife everyone is a suspect. And shop staff are not always helpful. Don't take it personally.

You may be projecting the feeling that you are being singled out and are then looking nervous and suspicious, looking behind you to see if you are followed, looking suspiciously at staff stacking shelves, and in return they then do follow you and look suspiciously at you.