No energy, like zero. No patience. Is this burnout or just perimenopause?

[dollydoops]

I’m 46, single mum to a 6 year old and work full time as a teacher. It’s always been pretty hard to juggle everything, but lately I’ve found the evenings a real struggle. We get home between 5.30 and 6 (she is in after school club every day just so that I can manage to get my work done). I can just about manage to make DD’s dinner and do her school reading with her, but then she watches TV until bedtime while I just..sit, mindlessly scrolling my phone, looking at the chores that need doing but feeling too bone-tired to begin. Then once we have done the bedtime routine and stories, I come back downstairs and sit again, scrolling, snacking and feeling miserable.

What’s more, I have no patience with poor DD and don’t have the energy to deal with her properly so I end up snapping at her or crying in front of her. It’s making me feel shit and I’m sure it isn’t good for her. If anyone has any advice to offer, I would be really grateful.

Lovely thread full of thoughtful advice. I was also going to suggest supplements and HRT patches. Round here lots of people cold water swim in reservoirs. Join a club for advice on where is safe i.e. not near the plug hole end! If you go to a lake /reservoir round here there is nearly always someone swimming in it. And if not just have a nice walk round. Hope you get your mojo back soon.

To echo others OP, get a blood test.

I was exhausted but couldn't sleep, and had brain fog, insomnia, muscle twitching, couldn't concentrate, moody, anxious... Im already on HRT and couldn't understand what was going on. Turns out not only did I have low iron, but my B12 levels were really low too.

Thanks. Unfortunately I have no support with DD as her dad lives abroad and I don’t have any family nearby. So it’s quite hard to get a break.

That’s extremely tough 💐

Is she starting to have sleepovers? That did make a difference for me.

No, I don’t feel she is ready for sleepovers at all. I would rather wait until she is at least 8 or 9 .

I am 45 and have a coil and haven't had a period in 7 years. The GP went on my symptoms and prescribed the spray and progesterone tablets (until I have my new coil fitted than I will stop them).

The coil can provide the progesterone element if it's under 5 years old and you can add oestrogen. You don't need to have irregular periods to be in peri or to have HRT. I have a coil that is 7.5 years old and haven't had a period properly in 6 years but I'm on HRT at 45. It helps. It doesn't eradicate the issue though.

I’d strongly recommend a diet overhaul as this is what I did recently after a blood test showed not much wrong when I was struggling to get off the sofa.

I started with upping my oily fish intake after watching the BBC program just one thing called eating oily fish. Because of health reasons, I actually need more than the recommend three times a week so I’m aiming for five. I’ve noticed a massive changed in about a week. I also take vitamin D.

Scrambled egg on toast for breakfast or lunch is simple for me on a fairly high dense Granary type roll. Smoked salmon steaks with roasted Mediterranean vegetables is also very easy for dinner

@dollydoops

most probably Peri Sister!
Do some blood test
take vitamins supplements from over the counter

and talk to your GP. For me all the above and anti depressants help. But you may start HRT. I cant have it.

good luck. This too shall pass ❤️

Update- I tried to have a healthier dinner tonight and got all the jobs done straight away after my daughter was in bed instead of sitting down. I think not sitting down may be the key 😂 now going to have a cup of tea and read my book instead of scrolling. Little steps!

I have just celebrated 3 months of being patient and calm and happy after starting HRT in January.

It's worth looking into. I left it waaaay to long, and everyone around me and I suffered unnecessarily for years.