AIBU to feel excluded from my husband's family outings?

[Notmotherofflowergirls]

My husband has two sisters who are both married.

They are all lovely and we get along, one brother-in-law is maybe a little self absorbed but good company and generous in his hospitality when we are in his house.

These brothers-in-law have no interest in attending family functions.

Since FiL died MiL relies on her daughters. They take her away and go on day trips or even just a drive to the garden centre.

They went to New York for her 70th and my DH went as well. I was jealous but I have lots of trips away.

However, I see this family is my family, their children as my nieces and nephews; the brothers-in-law see this family as their wives’ family and they don’t see see our children as their nieces.

What is happening increasingly is DH goes out/away with his sisters and his mother (sometimes with the kids) without me because spouses aren’t included because these brothers-in-law aren’t interested. They get excited that they get the house to themselves for a few hours/ a couple of days.

But sometimes that’s appropriate. Whenever we had a death in the immediate family, and we would gather together before the funeral (different here, as our funerals are approx 3-4 days after death), it was not expected that spouses gather. The spouses joined in for the funeral and after and are then fully included but not for the few days inbetween, it was exclusion and was completely appropriate. I’m in the next line to go but fully expect the same when I go.

It might sound odd, but honestly, these times are amongst some of my most treasured memories, when it was just immediate family gathered for those days.