To think most people are naturally either savers or spenders?

[ThatOlivePoet]

I feel like people tend to fall into two camps - either naturally more inclined to save or more inclined to spend. Of course habits can change over time but I think most of it is just down to your default mindset. I don’t think there’s many people that sit somewhere in the middle.

AIBU?

I'm a spender, but I'm married to an obsessive saver, so he reins in my baser instincts. It's very annoying at times and we live massively below our means, but we do have a shit ton of savings 😂

Yes I think attitudes to money are hard-wired. But they can alter. I became more cautious with money after a spate of bad health. Not because my circumstances meant I needed to cut costs, more out of general anxiety. I have relaxed a bit now.

I reckon most people are quite middle of the road if they have enough - pay the bills, save a bit, have a treat.
The issue is when there's not enough for all three and people are forced to choose.

I think people who spend a lot when young can change their ways, but people who save a lot tend to carry on.

I'm a spender but I'm also happy to cut my cloth.

I'd say that I'm a bit of both. I hoard money in savings and invest it (have never cashed them in and am never tempted to). But I do fritter away my spending money which is left in my current account. I feel like I'm always going out to collect Vinted/Amazon parcels! Though a lot of it is stuff for the dcs.

DH is more of a saver and he hardly ever spends money at all, as I buy the food and most household/dc's stuff.

I am a massive saver and pretty frugal. I will walk a mile to save paying £1.90 in a car park. I really dont mind but it really baffles dh.
I will not spend much for ages and then I will have a blow out. I will only do this once I've reached a certain amount in stocks and shares and ISA plus what i want to spend.
For example I had my eye on a bike which cost just over 5K. I wouldn't buy it until I knew I could put it on my credit card and pay it off the same day. I reached my goal last week so im over the moon and I will start saving ( or hoarding as dh calls it) again.
Dh is not a spend thift but generous with money.

Yes this is definitely us. We save a min of 2k for long term and 500per month for holidays.
We also have sinking funds for annual costs too, car insurance etc.
at the same time I bought a new car this year and we are spending 7k on our main holiday this year.

I don’t think it’s either/or. My dad had no trouble spending extravagantly on his own personal travel or hobbies, for example, but desperately begrudged us anything that made our lives a bit more comfortable or convenient or pleasant, as though he was calculating the compound interest on the price of every 99p flake and totting up how much our little moments of pleasure would deplete his pension pot and hating us for it.

He was constantly going on about how everything was a rip off, that to pay for anything at all was somehow allowing yourself to be made a mug of.

He was always trying to get things for free - putting in complaints to get refunds, etc. He would have us all walk for miles when we were 4 and 5 years old rather than pay for parking or bus fare. He wouldn’t let us use toilets in tube stations that you had to pay 10p to get into, he wouldn’t stay at hotels but would drive for days on end and we all had to sleep in the car.

We weren’t short of money - my dad just felt like spending anything beyond the bare minimum on food or drink or transport or anything pleasant for his family meant someone somewhere was getting one over on him. It was so bitter and grudging and joyless and stressful.

So now, whenever I am travelling somewhere I will enjoy a ceremonial rip-off whether that’s an overpriced coffee at a train station or a mediocre fish and chips at an airport Wetherspoons - and absolutely savour it, and imagine my uptight grudging miserly shit of a dad turning in his grave.

I'm a saver... but I also love to spend! I only spend what I have though, so no HP, credit cards, loans etc.

I was definitely more of a spender before starting Wegovny. This medication seems to have addressed all my addictions;food, alcohol ( no longer drink any) and shopping. Before this I would have said yes you are either a spender or saver, but now, no.

I used to be a massive spender but a period of unemployment put paid to that! I tend to buy clothes on vinted now and baulk at thd full prices in shops.

I used to be a serious saver, my parents were very frugal and every penny was counted. As I’ve got older I’ve relaxed a lot, I won’t pass on the same issues to my children - feeling like a burden just by being there and money being such a scarce resource it worried me as a young child a lot. No way am I projecting that on them. A sibling of mine is very, very tight. She doesn’t need to be, they have plenty of money (and she doesn’t mind telling people) but her children can’t get more than a leaking poundshop water bottle or towels with holes in. She won’t buy anything unless it’s rags. Thank god she gets given lots. Probably because people think they are struggling. It’s miserable for the children

This is me too. DH is more likely to buy something big, whereas I spend constant little bits. He does sometimes comment on the number of parcels but hardly any of it is for me. I don’t really spend in shops apart from the supermarket. I could definitely cut back though as although I mostly buy household stuff and stuff for the dc it’s not always essential eg dd needed a couple of new tops but ended up with 7 because I bought them in bundles on vinted-she really only needed 3. Then washing powder was in the spring sale on Amazon so I bought two 10kg bags because I couldn’t decide which to get. It will get used but I definitely didn’t need 20kg in one go. And at the same time as I was buying that something I had in my basket in mind for DH’s stocking at Christmas dropped in price so I bought it, even though Christmas is over 8 months away. A moisturiser I like was in the boots £10 Tuesday so I bought a couple…I like to think I’m saving money in the long term by buying offers or deals but I certainly seem to spend a lot whilst doing so.

Dh sees the interest on his savings as income and as money to live off and counts his savings as money he has to spend whereas once mine is in savings I consider it locked away and the interest is to help it grow. We both save similar amounts though.

Yep it’s a personality trait

when our teens were little and got birthday money so the odd £10/£20

one it would burn a hole in pocket until it was spent straight away
other saved

no reason for either to spend it save just natural response

Not sure i agree.

I am a very much both, I def waste money but i dont overspend.
I hate bad debt and always cut my cloth.

Personally this is the kind of trope is used by people who are shit at money management say to make themselves feel better. Like an "oh but what can i do? Im jist born this way"

Its also the kind of people who are very wealthy sau to feel a bit superior and to pretend it was all themand their brilliance not generational wealth / luck whatever.

Same! I was thinking this yesterday. I haven't had thr urge to online shop. I'm usually addicted to Next but the last few weeks I'm apethetic to a lot including browsing. I'm probably thinking I've less money due the cost of the medication too though!!

I would say that I'm a saver, maybe because I don't really enjoy shopping. I don't like having lots of "stuff", and the best way to avoid that is not to buy it in the first place. However, I'm not a saver when it comes to experiences rather than material things (eg holidays, meals out, days out) - I'm happy to spend on those.

DH is the kind of person who buys expensive things rather than lots of things. Eg he doesn't have loads of clothes but the things he has are good quality, he doesn't drink much but likes a nice bottle of wine when he does have one, that kind of thing.

So overall I think YABU as DH and I are both a mixture of saver and spender in different ways.

No. Obviously some people like to spend more than others, but I think whether you save depends on how much money you have. You could be the most frugal person possible and have nothing left after essentials. You could be extremely extravagant but fortunate enough to be able to indulge and have some left over. Framing it as a personality trait feels like just another way for people with money to feel superior to those without, rather than just luckier. Plays into the 'rich because we worked hard and went without' versus 'feckless poor' stereotype, when it's never that simple.

You’re not unreasonable, but they’re not fixed points either.

i used to live paycheck to paycheck. Always owed money on my credit card etc.

but, mid 20s, I learnt to budget. Opened a lot more bank accounts than the average person and put regular amounts in each after each pay. I had a rent/mortgage account, bills acct, new car savings, insurance, holiday etc.

Each pay might have been 50 in the car, 100 in bills, 30 in insurance etc. I made sure I paid off the credit card every month so I wouldn’t pay any interest. I never pay a bill late because I hate paying any extra unnecessary fees or charges. If I need to pay a bill and there’s a discount date, I’ll juggle everything to get it paid by the discount date.

I also had a ‘just in case’ account. I used to put $10 a week in there. Then $20 a week, then $30. Not because I thought I’d really need it, but over the years as my wage increased, I increased the amount.

In the end it grew to a decent sum and I used it for an investment to benefit our whole family.

So yes, I do think people have a tendency towards one or the other, but you can learn and make changes too. It’s even easier these days as there is a lot more information online about how to save an invest, even starting with really small amounts.

You just described me and my husband. He takes care of the savings and I buy us treats and tickets and book holidays etc.

I used to be tight a saver when I was younger but that was mostly because I was saving to buy a house and I didn't have a good salary.

My attitude has definitely changed, now I'm a lot more relaxed. I'm not really interested in buying a lot of stuff, don't care about expensive clothes or cars. Travel is my big spend area.

For me it's about whether I think it's worth the money or not. I wouldn't spend more than £15 on a top, hardly ever buy takeaways or eat out because the cost vs quality now is ridiculous but almost £2k on a long haul flight ticket is fine 😆

Both my partner and I are savers. It’s worked pretty well.

When we can afford it, we do like little pleasures like decent wine, theatre/opera trips, swanky meals out. With clothes, I love a bargain and I don't buy really expensive clothes. I like the idea of finding something nice for a reasonable price and if I can't, I will wear something good I already own to a wedding etc.

We don't drive but do have DC at uni in London, so there have been times that's been a bit costly and I pull back to try to keep saving as much each month.

I've had savings since gap year days. I think I probably agree that makes me a saver.

I don't think it's that simple. People are driven by financial knowledge (or lack of), experience (especially poverty), lifestyle aspirations and sense of security.

I'm a saver because I'm terrified of something happening & not having enough, but I spend on travel because I've also seen how quickly your future plans can be taken away. You have a fat bank account - and full bucket of dreams that'll never be emptied. DH was a spender because he didn't have a clue about money management. Became a saver when I taught him WHY he should save. Ironically he's now a financial adviser & tighter than me!!

I'm a spender. I can save in the short term, if it's for a specific purpose like a holiday. But I struggle to save for the sake of saving. I do think a couple of things in my childhood partly shaped me. We had our house repossessed and ended up homeless. Then at 14 I had a summer job, saved every penny, my dad then "borrowed" it from me and never gave it back. So the following summer, I spent my money as soon as I got it!

So I've always felt that if you have something, it can be taken from you. I'm in social housing. Even if I had been in a position to buy (I wasn't) the idea of a mortgage terrifies me. The responsibility of having to make those payments for decades. I'd forever be terrified of losing my job or something else going wrong. Bank accounts can be frozen and assets can be seized. So I don't wholly trust banks either.

I think some people who grow up very poor become super savers, whereas I went the opposite way and wanted to have the life I never had.