Dh getting up and walking off mid conversation

[Pizzaandpasta101]

I want to know if this is really rude or if I’m just being precious.

Dh has a habit of getting up and just walking off in the middle of a conversation.

So for example earlier today (but this happens on a regular basis), we were speaking about something that had happened with one of our dc at the weekend. It was only a short conversation for like 5 minutes, not like we’d been going on for hours. The conversation hadn’t reached a natural end and I was in the middle of saying something and dh just got up and walked off to do something else.

He does this all the time. It’s not even like he says “hold that thought I’m just going to do xxx”. He literally just walks off.

To be honest I didn’t marry him for his riveting conversation. He’s definitely a man of few words and he’s like that with everyone. He’s just not a talker. He takes several minutes to even respond half the time and he says he’s ‘thinking’.

But aibu to think it’s just plain rude?

The two people in my family who tend to get distracted or wander off when spoken to both have inattentive adhd. They are also often slow to respond verbally due to slow processing skills. It does come across as rude though.

Sorry I had to laugh. Dh is one for falling asleep loudly snoring then denying that he nodded off.

If he walks off during an argument then it’s definitely stone walling. Overall your DH has very little respect for you. Next time he does it make a real fuss about it, so he’ll think twice about doing it again.

Dh does this to me sometimes. Last time he did it and walked out of the room, I pressed play on whatever I had paused, then he came back and said he hadn't finished. I replied you left the room. It was like he hadn't actually considered that his action might have had an effect.

I bet you have never even see him do this with anyone else.

Kids?

Well it certainly seems rude. But perhaps he doesn’t mean to be. He sounds like he could be shy or socially awkward. Could it be that he is very distractable? Or he it is a clumsy way of escaping from a conversation that be finds boring or awkward?

i do sometimes do this to a friend because she talks and talks and talks and it’s the only way to make her stop. I try not to though but sometimes nothing else works.

But are they doing it because they have ADHD, or because they are rude?

Yes I'd do the same as this, give him a taste of his own medicine.

Also if it's something really important you want too say wait until dinner time or when he's a hostage in the car and can't get away 😀

Not necessarily, can sometimes depend on upbringing. My dh used to walk out of the room during an argument as he grew up in a violent household and learnt as a child to get out of the way. It took a lot of therapy for him to learn a different way of dealing with arguments.

@Pizzaandpasta101 You said his dad is “weird” and likes the sound of his own voice. Is walking out of the room something he or his mum did as a child?

Person A does it because of their adhd
Person B is for both reasons 🤣

It sounds like he gets overwhelmed in conversations, giving him the benefit of the doubt, which could be a “spectrum” related issue maybe?. My partner says random non related things half way through a chat, which drives me insane. She looks baffled when I point it out. We are a same sex couple so not a man/woman thing. We are not being listened to ultimately which is beyond frustrating but it might be a bit more complicated than him just being an ignorant arse.

To be honest I didn’t marry him for his riveting conversation.

Was he always like this, though, @Pizzaandpasta101? May I ask, why did you marry him?

I mean, I might be guilty of this with my DH. He just drones on and on about stuff I have absolutely no interest in. After spending the day with DC who just talk at me I just don’t have much left in the tank to humour him.

I know it’s rude but I’m tired and most of the time not interested in what he has to say.

Get up and walk out in the middle of sex.

Try it on him. Next time he’s mid monologue about something just walk out without saying anything. See how he likes it.

I must admit I sometimes do it with dh.

He’s very much a talker, I’m not, especially if I’ve had a hard day. So, mid —one sided— conversation, I will find something to do in another room. I will tell him though “I’ve just got to sort X out”. I do think it’s rude to walk out and say absolutely nothing.

😂

I wonder if he does this with people at work.

Does he do it with everyone OP, or is it mainly you?

Start doing it back to him. I bet he will be annoyed.

I would query neurodiversity, specifically ADHD

Are you married to my DH, OP?! He does this so much, and I HATE it. He always says 'I thought you were finished', but clearly wasn't actively listening at all because most times I'm MID SENTENCE. Winds me right up 🙄

I have exact same experience of this. I call it out too, so rude!! But.. Is he neuro divergent? I think it may be the case of not being able to consolidate the information and give an immediate response for serious discussions and/or pure lack of interest in banal chat! I used to find 'discussions' so frustrating .. i got no response ! 2 days later he would offer something up, needed to consider it in peace. Ive given him the same treatment and he was confused.. but it seemed mean and was very hard to keep up lol. It got better over time and with a sense of humour