AIBU to consider giving up work due to childcare and caring costs?

[Thecatinthehat89]

Just looking for any advice please , currently i work FT and have a disabled partner, 3 DC , two of whom have additional needs

I have calculated with what I pay in childcare costs and council tax (we currently get UC top up) I am effectively working to cover these costs - if I was to give up work, I would have lower outgoings and a similar monthly income to what im left with currently!

Getting time of work for DC/DP appointments is a struggle at the best of times although my employer does try their best to be accommodating as they are aware of my circumstances

So AIBU to give up work? It would enable me to be fully flexible with all their appointments , save me the stress of working and the commute and enable me to be more present for everyone and thus relieve a whole lot of stress 🙈

YANBU. If you’re claiming PIP and DLA you’ll have more than enough to live on.

What affect might it have on you in the the future though? When your children are adults your income will reduce dramatically and you’ll have been out of the workforce for many years.

How would you have a similar income though? If you’re thinking benefits then please don’t. I’m sorry about your circumstances but they’re not going to be solved by not providing for your family.

Yes DP gets full PIP and my 2 DC get the highest rate DLA , thankyou!

I wouldn’t
Have seen so many women give up work when children come along and never be able to get back at anything like the same level
Generally men do not do this

Yanbu but...
Are you currently contributing to a work pension? You would lose your employer's contributions and your tax back. Do you get other perks?
Do you rely on the change of scene that work gives, to maintain your sanity?
Do you have friends and a support network at work? Would you be more isolated at home?
You are keeping your skills and experience current. If you leave the workplace for an extended period, returning on a decent salary will be very difficult.
All things to consider.

So as an example , If i currently get £2200 in UC and £1500 in wages - currently i spend £1500 on childcare and council tax ! If I stopped working, I wouldnt have to pay childcare costs / council tax and my UC would go up to £2800 as there would be no deductions for wages (based on my current entitlement minus childcare costs )

Daft argument, as social security is there for exactly this circumstance so yes her problems are going to be solved for the moment.

You do need a long term plan tho OP. Your kids will grow up, you'll need a pension, etc.

It may be a short term gain with long term ramifications.
I'm not surprised councils are in a mess when more and more people expect someone/ anyone else to pay for council services except them.

You will lose more over all. The dla should be paying for the childcare, especially as it is much more difficult to find somewhere to look after disabled children. You would be paying pension contributions at work and your employer would pay them too. If you leave the jobs market, you are unlikely to get back in at the same level after a large break.

I know how difficult it is working and having disabled children to look after. I am clinging onto my job, as nowhere else would be as flexible, but I want a career for me too. One day the kids will be grown and either working, or supported whilst being unable to work. Childcare doesn't last forever.

Wouldn’t you then be affected by the benefit cap if not working though? Not sure what the cap is or how it works but might reduce your total amount

Is part time an option? School time job to save on childcare? Personally my job keeps me sane.

Why are you paying such high childcare costs? Do you not get 30 funded hours per week per child?

No because I would be considered exempt from the cap due to having disabled children

No, this is for before and after school wrap around care - I have 3 DCs in different schools each with different wraparound providers

I’m sorry but this makes me really cross - this is more than I earn a month and we get no UC! Please just go to work!

School hours would be the dream but this is not something my work are able to facilitate, I have submitted flexible working requests on a few occasions now and been declined due to it not fitting in with the needs of the business

I did also think this but I basically work in a call centre with admin tasks - salaries for entry level aren't too dissimilar to what my currently salary is!

In your shoes I'd be quite nervous about a new government coming to power in three years' time and starting to cut back UC/DLA in the name of increasing defence spending or whatever. In that case, if you needed to return to work, it would be harder if you had a gap of several years on your CV.

This is in addition to what others have said about your children growing up, you missing out on private pension contributions etc.

I am still working i haven't given notice or anything , I was just pondering my options !

I doubt Labour will get in next election. I suspect the next government will be a lot more right leaning - and wonder if they will reduce benefits significantly. I appreciate you may not want to think that far ahead (there are pros and cons in basing decisions that far in advance and when there is no certainty of outcome). But that is what would worry me, if I were in your shoes.

I wonder how much support op has from the council to care for 3 disabled family members. I guarantee it's none and she's saving them a hell of a lot of money. They could of course provide the necessary support so op feels she can carry on working. It would probably cost more than she contributes though but at least her pension and future career would be protected.

You could change jobs though

I get 0 support from the local council to assist - i pay for everything in full - i dont see this ever changing!

I've been with my current employer for 8 years - its not for Want nor lack of trying, im limited with hours as DP cannot care for our DCs due to his disability 😪 hence why I need to use full wraparound childcare

It does also concern me as well!