AIBU to consider giving up work due to childcare and caring costs?

[Thecatinthehat89]

Just looking for any advice please , currently i work FT and have a disabled partner, 3 DC , two of whom have additional needs

I have calculated with what I pay in childcare costs and council tax (we currently get UC top up) I am effectively working to cover these costs - if I was to give up work, I would have lower outgoings and a similar monthly income to what im left with currently!

Getting time of work for DC/DP appointments is a struggle at the best of times although my employer does try their best to be accommodating as they are aware of my circumstances

So AIBU to give up work? It would enable me to be fully flexible with all their appointments , save me the stress of working and the commute and enable me to be more present for everyone and thus relieve a whole lot of stress 🙈

Fair comment !!

You can move employers...

@Thecatinthehat89 you would also be able to claim carers allowance and carers element of UC.

How would you cope if your children (temporarily) lost their DLA? If your household income is dependent on it, you might only be one ropey renewal decision away from disaster.

She probably does more than you. Working and having a disabled child is bloody hard let alone two.

Wouldn’t you still have to pay council tax though? Or do you not pay council tax when you don’t work?

They've both had renewals this year and been awarded for 5 years

Every council has their own rules - based on where I live currently i would have a nil council tax award

Ah thanks, I Already get carers element but yes I could claim for carers allowance which would also continue my NI contributions i believe

Even with three kids in seperate wrap around care I fail to see how it would be £1500 a month?

Are you including holiday clubs in that amount, averaging over a year? Are you using Tax free childcare?

It is taken off £1 for £1 off your UC.

Thankyou - especially when one of my DCs sleeps very little but can't be left unattended!

Can't use tax free childcare as I claim UC, and no, this is the amount I currently have to pay 😪

Do uc not repay you 85% of your childcare costs?

It's up to 85% and included in the £2200 I currently get

So if you give up work will you lose some of that UC? I'm not sure how the system works but I definitely don't blame you for giving up work, although if I were you I'd try to work part time purely for the break/my own sanity.

I would give up work in your situation. You must be getting as a household over 2k every four weeks just in disability benefits and then the UC on top. No point in stressing yourself further if you can live comfortably on what you'd get from benefits, especially when you get no sleep. You will end up ill x

I think if you are able to give up work then you should as as you say you are basically working to pay child care which doesn't make a lot of sense. They're only little once and I think if you stay home with them you will be glad you did in years to come, just spend that time with them. It's also better for their emotional development to be with their mum rather than at childcare. Check though that the government will allow it, as you say you will be getting UC. I understand that after age 2 they expect mothers to work part time ?

Op would not be expected to work at all as a carer.

Yes it makes me cross too, for completely different reasons, namely that there's no support in place to enable someone in OPs situation to actually continue work.
What does it say when someone is working, yet would actually be better off financially and have better health and wellbeing on benefits? How have we got to a place where that's happening and yet people are yelling at that person that they should continue down that road (probably to ill health because everyone needs to sleep at some point!) rather than looking at why it's the better option to not work and claim benefits - why is the state safety net, supposed to be there when you need help because of life circumstances*, paying more than employers? How is acceptable that the essentials in life and things necessary for work like childcare (for working families obviously) cost more than you get for working?
That's the problem, but maybe if people keep harping on about benefits and laziness it'll solve the problem!

• And I do actually think that situations like OPs are exactly what benefits are for, I mean OP could always work herself into an early grave instead, leaving the state to care for her children and husband, might cost more and have worse outcomes but hey, people will feel better about it won't they?!

And this attitude is why the government is skint.

It's not really an attitude more of a necessity. If op becomes ill, it will cost a whole lot more for social services to care for three family members.
Unfortunately I see these situations all the time in my job - multiple family members disabled, multiple children with SEN. it's far from an isolated situation. There are way more situations where benefits are doled out left right and centre that could be restricted than for a family in these circumstances.

But she can work so she should. The benefits system shouldn’t give cash out for disabilities, it should give goods and services instead. The kids are in child care. What’s the alternative? She stays home all day? We shouldn’t be paying people to stay at home all day when they could be working, surely you can see that?