Things that are supposed to be enjoyable but aren't in reality

[Tooconfused12]

Here's my list:

Holidays with the family (kids under the age of 6.) Too expensive, the kids are always tired/vomiting/over-stimulated. Travelling is a fucking nightmare. There's at least two arguments with your partner. And you (being the woman) end up doing all the prep for about three weeks beforehand. When you come back it takes at least a week for you to get through all the washing. And you're exhausted.

Being on the beach. It's actually a bit shit all round. Sand everywhere. People get too hot and uncomfortable. Sand in the food. Warm drinks that have been left out in the sun. The kids end up with sand in their eyes and so do you. It's always really windy and the sea is miles out which means you have to walk for ages to get there. Someone gets bitten/cut by a rock/sunburnt/swallows loads of sea water and you give up and leave after about 2 hours of drama.

Eating out. Too expensive, better quality of cooking at home with fresh ingredients.

Paris. Dirty, smelly, you're followed everywhere by sleazy men trying to sell you stuff or pickpocket you. Everyone's really fucking rude as well

Having sex. It's a bit touch and go, most of the time it's slightly boring, the bloke normally orgasms before you and the people you really fancy - when you end up shagging it turns out to be rubbish after all that build up. Or they ooze sex appeal and charisma but they do something to give you the serious ick and your vagina slams shut.

Hen do's - end of.

Skiing

Funfairs, nightclubs, anything with that kind of intense sensory overload vibe - too loud, too expensive, too crowded, and everyone forgets how to behave.

I agree about Paris. I used to love the Maigret novels, but modern Paris is nothing like it was in the 1950s. Last time I went I was called a “fucing bich” by a man in dirty sandals selling stuff out of a tray. I was also followed and grabbed by two other men.

I’d add hot sunshine. Every winter I look forward to the summer, but then moan non-stop about the sticky, sweaty, horrible heat. Hot sunshine isn’t pleasant. It’s like having a burning hot torch shone in your face.

Same. So I married him!

Agree with
Snow
Baths
Spa/massage/steamar room or anything similar
Christmas markets
Any featival aimed at families

Disagree with
Beaches (like them with kids, not as an adult)
Paris
Holidays with kids

Add to list
Yoga

I’m way more fun than I thought. I would happily do any of these things. Some of them, e.g holidays with little kids can be hard work - you do need to adjust expectations. I get the impression lots of people whine when anything isn’t all about them.

Agree with Paris, it’s an unsafe absolute shit hole. Going later this year to a concert, will literally go to my hotel, out drinking, queue early for the gig, out drinking again (hopefully forgetting I’m in Paris) the fly home.

sking - literally nothing good about it.

posh Restaurants- tiny bit of food full of pretentious twats orgasming over a bit of raw meat or something. I’d rather get a pizza

love the beach and sex though!

love family holidays

Having friends to stay

Unfortunately agree with some holiday stuff - all crammed in a car, someone wants the heating on, the other wants the window open. Bickering over little things!

Being outdoors in general 😂 the sun comes out and I think we overestimate how warm it is. Then in the summer we're swarmed by wasps.

Theme parks - why do I want to spend the whole day riddled with fear! I'll always be the bag lady instead.

And sex. Men seem obsessed, films portray it as these unbelievably passionate moments whilst I never really got what's so amazing about it.

Same. I don’t enjoy giving it per sae but I'm motivated to do so if a sexual partner is clearly receiving pleasure from it as that turns me on too.

I always felt weird not enjoying receiving oral. Good to know there's a few of us out there.

I love Paris so I just can’t relate on that one. Agree hard on the kids, DP’s family wants a big holiday together (all in the same villa) and all I can think of is that I’ll have no relaxed sex and will be looking after other people’s kids.

My list would be:

• Theme parks
• Drinking
• Social events that require signing up, they’re awkward and not as welcoming as they insist on advertising
• Days out with big groups, everyone ends up scattering away and doing their own thing, half won’t even show up.

Tell them! “ I’m not interested in any discomfort. I want relaxation.” You don’t have to have a sports or deep tissue massage.

I agree with most of this except for Paris (sorry, I love that city, just not the super touristy parts) and eating out (it is disappointing in overpriced chains, but there are some really lovely independent restaurants, with real chefs). I also like beaches but sand can be uncomfortable!

Pilates.
it was the most boring hour of my week 🙄

I now do strength training twice a week at a class. Seems to be having a similar effect on me and it’s much more fun.

I don’t enjoy it either.

Holidays
weddings
big birthdays
shopping

Every time I hear anyone dissing Paris (a fairly common occurrence) I’m always like have we BEEN to the same city?? I love the vibe and it’s no dirtier than, say, London.

Definitely the beach. And eating outside. Always insects or pigeons or seagulls or something. Definitely prefer eating indoors.

Organised fun. Garden games like skittles and giant connect 4. Sitting in the sun. Picnics - not fun sitting on the ground, wasps, picnic food…Just not my thing.

Forgot to add my list.

London - the vast majority of it is a sh!t hole. There are just a few nice areas in the middle.

Skiing. Never been but it looks hugely overrated and lots of people seem to think that doing it makes them posh (when they aren’t, although it doesn’t matter anyway).

Yoga.

Night clubs. I prefer bars with music/a dance floor and/or cosy pubs depending on my mood.

Absolutely. I think people just go to a few touristy parts but don’t really ‘know’ the city. It’s definitely far less dirty than London.

Agree with so many of these.. massage, Christmas, theme parks, clubbing

I would add going anywhere on a sunny Bank Holiday. Every pub, restaurant and entertainment venue creaking under the sheer weight of visitors".. Roads are gridlocked. Safety of your own garden is best and only place.

I will also venture that the Ideal Home Exhibition is an waste of time/money/effort. As is Chelsea Flower Show. The ratio of interest to crowds has to be balanced.

I really like Paris. I would say Dublin is a bit dull though..

Agree with the Paris being a dump thing. It used to be gorgeous, but hasn't been so for a long time. It smells (especially on the metro), it's dirty, there's graffitti everywhere and loads of scammers / people harassing you for money. London is much much cleaner, and safer. The tube doesn't smell. Paris feel very on edge, in a bad way.

Bring your own plate - a fucking nightmare for us coeliacs and anyone with dietary needs.
Christmas markets and indeed any kind of market which sells overpriced shit no one wants.
Eating outside unless it’s 22+ degrees.
Paris, overrated.
Evenings out as a big group - you always end up seated with someone you don’t like and wish you’d just organised a small get together with the people you’re closer too.
Most TV is utter shite.
Celebrations of life. Ugh
Work socials, unless it’s with my direct team I have no desire to socialise with people I barely know.

I love the beach!

Spa days. That is an idea of hell for me. I don't want people touching me, and I don't want to me led out somewhere semi naked either.

Also, hair cuts. Someone touching my head feels like fire. Just NO. And all the small talk too.