How often do you hear from your DP when they are away ??

[Happycherry39]

Just looking for a bit of a sense check really. When your DH/P goes away (with friends/work etc), how often would you normally expect to hear from them?

I don’t mean constant messaging, but just general contact – a good morning, goodnight, a quick check-in during the day?

Trying to work out what’s “normal” vs what’s just me having expectations that might be off.

Would be really helpful to hear what it’s like for others.

No set pattern, but likely a message or two in the morning, a few through the day if there’s something worth talking about- maybe send a picture of a nice view if relevant etc.. then a couple at night before bed. Unlikely to phone unless someone’s died 😂

No set routine here and the one of us who's away would dictate the level of messaging. So if my husband is away with his friends he might send a couple of photos during the day, a view, a cocktail or whatever but I wouldn't be messaging him unless something major has happened at home. For example I wouldn't be messaging to say hope you're having a good time, I would assume he is but I might message to say the letter we've been waiting for has arrived and the contents of said letter. We would never call each other while away.

My husband worked away last year from Feb to November and at first we spoke once or twice a week and message maybe every couple of days.

After a couple of months we could go up to a few weeks without speaking and just message each other a few times a week.

Shorter periods eg few days or a week or so he'd message to let me know he arrived safely and then when he was on his way home.

Obviously if anything important happened, we'd talk but just general chit chat, not fans of it.

We would typically video call once a week if DH is away (he sometimes travels for extended periods).

Messages are more frequent - several times a week but not daily.

I'm not really a fan of duty contact! I would prefer that he just messages when he feels like it, has something to say or photos that he wants to share etc. I do the same, and wouldn't want to feel under pressure to message just for the sake of it - we're both too busy for that!

No more than once a day usually, and that's via message. We're quite independent people. It wouldn't be unusual to have days without any messages either. If we're apart for a week or so we'll probably speak on the phone once.

I speak more with my best friend (via phone/message) than I do with my DP to be honest. We have the habit of chatting and checking in on each other frequently, more so than my DP and I. Just a different dynamic when it comes to communication.

Before we had kids, never. Now, once a day. Usually in the evenings. I do the same when I’m away. If anything particularly amusing happens during the day, we might shoot a quick text though.

Once a day at least.Even if it’s just a late night “good night” or an early “good morning”

At least daily by text and email. DH does not like WhatsApp. He works away - sometimes as far as US or Japan - for weeks at a time but likes to chat every other day at least.

Do you have kids? Since kids once a day in the evening, before that a text to say he’d arrived safely and a message to confirm when he’d be home, nothing in between. I do the same when I’m the one travelling.

DH messages and rings a lot
(too much!). I don’t when I’m away. I’m more of an out of sight; out of mind person, and I have to make a conscious effort to keep in touch.

Everyone is different.

Once a day, usually, unless we agree that it will be less frequent. Often we will exchange some messages during the day, but no real expectation of real-time replies. We will usually do a video call in the evening.

Depends. No message usually means things going well.
Loads of messages usually means the transport is fecked and he may well be back days earlier or later than expected.

Typically a message or 2 each day. If we are both online at the same time, a back and forth of messages. FaceTime calls if he's away socially, not if hes with work.

I don’t know if this is helpful/relevant but when I first met my now husband I thought he didn’t like me because he was such a crap texter sometimes 😂.

I was so anxious and chronically on my phone so the opposite. He’s a bit old fashioned in a way that he’s just not looking at his phone all the time and said he’d just used an old basic Nokia type phone for years before getting a smart phone. I realised it perhaps wasn’t me when he stayed over one night and was looking for his phone to set an alarm and it was in his coat pocket in the car out of battery 😂. He just hadn’t thought of it all day / eve.

He does text if he’s away now because we kind of got into a routine and wants to know what’s happening at home. But I’m also relaxed if I don’t hear from him much and I’ve got much better at being on my phone less. 😂🤦🏽‍♀️

Gosh, maybe once or twice overall to let me know he's safe or to confirm the return arrangements.

But my marriage is a bit shite so probably not a good gauge of normal.

I might get a “we’ve landed message”. Then the odd message or photo of the place throughout the week.

Duty contact 😂

Yes. I can accidentally go the full 9-5 day without texting if I’m away for work and it’s frantic

My partner is a tramper so is away 4 or 5 nights every week. He'll generally call for a chat a few times while he's driving, then in the evening we have a couple of video calls so he can see the kids and chat to them.

We call a bit more often at the moment as we've got a 6 week old baby so he just checks in to make sure we're ok, but generally we chat quite a few times over the course of a day.

I’m the one travelling one week in every four. I text once every day or every other day; video call the kids sometimes when I’m away. Works for us.

When DH goes away on his golf breaks he rings at night, usually to tell me what he's had to eat then our adult DC often message to say "what's Dad had for tea". Bit of a family joke. He never messages during the day, even when I'm covering our business.

Not at all. We are both on tracker so can see where each other are any time. Not talking is nice because we then have much to talk about and have the opportunity to miss each other and hear each other's news.

All day, every day! Usually just a silly continual conversation, back and forth pictures of the cat and the baby and anything interesting we do, and some flirting.

I can see that we're the immature outliers here though!

This for us also however I’ve just been on a trip with a friend & her DH contacted her multiple times a day!

I work away - I text the family WhatsApp to say morning and touch in with whole family. More often than not I’ll only side text DH if something has gone really wrong or really right.
the family chat works well - I might send a photo of where I am and they’ll send me photos of the dog or what they are eating etc.

Few messages a day and a phone call in the evening. We tend to get a few times all the time anyway

We're apart quite often so used to it. Would hear from each other every day or two. Definitely not throughout the day but I know that may not be typical.