AIBU to lock the porch after a friend kept taking our pushchair?

[PushchairCF]

We’ve had a porch for about 6 years, never locked it. Never needed to . All we’ve ever kept in the porch is wellies, umbrellas and a cheap little folding pushchair. It is very handy as light to carry if getting public transport and fits in car well too. We use it every 2-3 days.

NDN is a long term friend , nice but can be difficult sometimes. Had a period of time where she tried her luck wanting to borrow money I just had to keep saying no.

Her pushchair broke and she asked to borrow ours ‘till the end of the month’ I said sorry we use it a lot so wouldn’t be able to . I mentioned they are quite cheap and it was on offer somewhere too she just ignored.

went to go out one day last week and it was gone ! I called her and She had taken it for the school run - I went round and got it back, told her that was not ok and she did the same the next day. On Friday I had to look for the keys and have started locking the porch door. She text me this morning to ask why I’ve locked the door !!!! I said ‘to stop you taking the pushchair as we need it’ she’s called me selfish as I have 2 pushchairs. I don’t have 2, i used to but the other was so big and heavy we got rid of it months ago.

Absolutely fine - what next? Is she going to let her self in and help herself to the contents of your fridge and food cupboard, take the wine off the rack - after all, you had plenty or could afford to buy more?

Ring door bell and always locking it going forward is the answer (though I bet you have until now got your parcels delivered to you ‘secure’ porch and can’t so that now?)

Even if you have 22 buggies she isn't entitled to 1!!

Blimey.

Get a Ring camera, put the sensor on highest. Tell her you've now got a camera and if she steals it again you'll be going to the police with evidence.

I'd also direct her to charity's that can give out pushchairs for free if she's struggling with money.

Wow she certainly has a brass neck. I'm sorry you live next door to her!

Why on earth should the op why cant the friend buy one

My neighbour & I have keys to each others houses. I was away over Christmas & her oven broke on CD. I didn't know until I got back, I was frustrated she hadn't just used mine!

but this is different, you said 'no' as you were using it & she still helped herself & more than once

I wouldn't lock the porch if it inconveniences you. I'd simply tell her I'd report the theft if she did it again!

if she was actually a good friend. I'd have helped her to get a pushchair whether that was by picking up 1 of the many in 'Nextdoor' or buying a new cheap one & giving her mine if I could easily afford it but knew she couldn't (but not if she's slagging her money in drunk & fags, but unlikely we'd have been friends then anyway)

I would just text and tell her bore off!

I would be furious that she thought it was okay to take yours after you'd specifically told her she couldn't borrow it. And then she has the temerity to be angry that you've locked your door?

I'd stand my ground. I'd really feel like burning all my bridges with her and cutting her off entirely, but I know that wouldn't be wise with a NDN. I'd still stand my ground but not tell her exactly what I thought of her shockingly poor behaviour, just calmly (!) repeat that you only have one pushchair that you need yourself, so you have to lock the door to be certain it's available when you need it. If she takes offence at that, there's nothing to be done.

She's a total weirdo. Any normal person would've died of shame after being called out the first time!

The absolute bare faced cheek!!

What is her situation that means she's asking to borrow money all the time and is stealing your cheap folding pushchair?!

Time to realise this woman isn't a friend.

No the NDN doesn't sound like much of a friend at all if she's willing to steal OP's property and then gaslight her into thinking that she's the problem when she challenges it.

Are you INSANE?? Ffs! 🤦‍♀️

I'd reply "You keep your thieving hands off my property in future."

What a Cunty Fucker!

People are always giving away pushchairs on FB if she bothered to look.
Can you keep it in your boot if you don't want to lock your porch?

The problem with all this is NDN has no intention of getting her own push chair. She wants to use yours indefinitely. This to her is “what friends do”. If it breaks or is lost or something else happens to it she won’t replace it then either and instead will shoulder shrug and say…well that happens.

good on you locking the door. She could have slunk away knowing the reason for the door locking was her unauthorized use of the push chair. Here is where the CFery comes into play…instead she calls you to complain you have safeguarded your own possession so it’s there when you need it.

iin my experience there are people
who have little but ask for a lot feel comfortable doing it and just kinda grift along in life always borrowing. Even borrowing your intelligence and akill DIYing their house ,

I'm actually quite jealous that I've never encountered anybody with this much audacity. I would thoroughly enjoy dealing with her.

I’d distance yourself from her, she’s likely to do something even worse next time!

@PushchairCF Complete CF of a neighbour - but what did she say when you said you only have one pushchair now, which I assume you did? It shouldn't matter if you had 10 pushchairs, but I'm curious what her reaction was?

Of course you're not being unreasonable to lock the door, after she'd shown herself to not understand no means no. But saying pushchairs are cheap is maybe a little tone deaf - if she'd asked to use yours until the end of the month that suggests she's waiting for payday surely and doesn't have the cash just lying around.

Have you told her it’s your only pushchair?

She’s no friend, she’s a self serving CF

Really?
Op has one pushchair.
Op uses said pushchair
Neighbour wants to use said pushchair.
This would leave Op with no pushchair.

So in order to help the neighbour, the Op either goes without a pushchair , shares the pushchair and works her own life around the neighbour's use of the op's pushchair, or op buys a second pushchair.

Really? Thats what you think should happen?

You know you’re not being unreasonable, she’s just a cheeky fucker of the highest order.

And a thief!

The pushchair isn't spare though. OP gave her other pushchair away and now needs the one her neighbour keeps 'borrowing'. Also, what sort of 'friend' just takes someone else's property without checking first to ensure that it's OK to do so.