I looked after a friend's dog and cat as a favour and on return they have given me money

[Dameputtingonabraveface]

Just this really. A newish friend has a quite needy rescue dog (does not cope with doggy day care, kennels or walks, needs booking into a dog park). As a result, she and her husband do not really go away together unless a close family member can have the dog. They recently all went away as a family and I agreed to stay and spent lots of time visiting in the weeks leading up so dog in question knew me.

I stayed at their house for 2 weeks, went to work in the day (dog used to this, and I went back for lunch as office just 10 mins away). Before work I would go back to mine to feed and spend time with my cats (I foster and also have adopted too many) and do the same on the way home. I went home for a couple of hours about 3 times to spend some time with them and also spent a bit of time at the weekends.

My friend came home last night and when I took the keys back today, they gave me a Thank You card with £200 in! This just seems too much and makes me feel quite awkward. When I messaged them this, they told me they appreciated that I 'looked after their babies' but I was just helping out as a friend! We both just work in the public sector and she is on a lower grade than me (although has a husband so dual income).

It feels weird accepting this and I wondered what other people think?

And she was obviously very happy with how you interacted with the dog.

You were really lovely and helped them enormously. I'm sure by showing their appreciation they feel that they can ask another time but would feel more unsure otherwise.

@Dameputtingonabraveface oh we have had failed fosters in the past! We are currently supporting a breed in serious decline. I go through waves of thinking the end of a breed isn’t the worst thing in the world to they have such amazing natures and very healthy that they should remain!

I see you found it quite tiring needy dogs are A LOT they.can take it out of you,.i think your friends were probably over enthusiastic with the money because they were so grateful for the rest,😀

Yeah, excellent advice. Take them for a drink or a meal. Don't overthink it

Perfect

They’re kind, you’re kind. It’s a strange world we live in where both are a surprise. Enjoy your £200

I'll join the chorus of accept the money with good grace. I can see why she did it at the end because it spares the embarrassment that you could feel.

I have a quid pro quo dog-sitting arrangement with a friend and by one of those unspoken intuitions, money being exchanged is out of the question as we are both comfortably off. Or cowards. At the same time the holidays can be whoppers so some acknowledgment needs to happen. For a long break I send flowers halfway through, then a few bottle of fizzy on collecting my pooch.

I should say I'm not saving my friend any money by dog-sitting as they have a free plan B, it's just that her dog prefers being with me and my dog.

You are a wonderful friend and she’s just showing you how much she appreciates you. What a heartwarming thread!

I just wanted to say what a wonderful and kind person you are. Thank you, on behalf of all the animals you look after. What a lovely thread. I'm so glad that people like you exist on our planet

Your friend meant well and was trying to thank you but I'd also be embarrassed if I was given cash. A voucher or gift would have been more appropriate. But you can't say that.

You did a lovely thing OP.

Its made lovier by the fact you were willing to do it for free.

It's totally fine. You went above and beyond what most people would do.

Think of it this way - you saved them probably double what why paid you in kennelling fees. Be prepared though as its highly likely you will asked to do it again!

Take the money and do something nice for yourself. A lovely meal out or night away in a hotel?

It’s so hard to find someone trustworthy to look after your dog. I wouldn’t leave my dog with just anyone so they obviously trusted you and more importantly, appreciated you. To be able to go away and know someone is looking after your dog (especially a rescue) is gold. Take the money and enjoy it, I would do the same as them.

It's nice to hear people grateful and you certainly put the effort in to help them, letting to dog get to know you etc. They just want to say thanks, let them. As long as if they ask you again you don't feel obliged. I looked after next doors dog for a week and they sent me a lovely bunch of flowers, but I wouldn't have done it again because the dog nearly put my back out walking him, so strong and not trained!

I don't think I could've left my cats alone for 2 weeks though, ha! I presume you have a partner at home?

i understand why you feel the way you do . £200 is a lot of money. Something like a bottle of wine or a gift from their holiday or even a voucher might feel better for you. But then I can also imagine the couple sitting there having a discussion that they can’t just give you a box of chocolates or a bottle of wine because that doesn’t seem enough for everything you did, and they wouldn’t want to seem ungrateful.

so if you have already something along the lines of “you shouldn’t have” I wouldn’t push the social awkwardness any further. But if you still feel awkward about the money you can pay it forward, so next time you see a charity or appeal, or someone who needs a helping hand you can pass it on then.

Given that you moved into her house for a fortnight and admit it’s left you exhausted, I don’t see why you’re making such heavy weather about her giving you some cash. She didn’t ‘pay’ you. Market rates for pet sitting would be far, far higher. She’s just given you a token amount to show her appreciation.

Wow they have really under ”paid you” even as a thank you. Yes you didn’t ask for cash and appreciate it’s a thank you to yourself but all the time you have spent isn’t worth it. Their break would have been over £1k easy plus all the rest. Their thank you is £14 a day for broken sleep, lunch inconvenience plus all the extra hassles.

Hopefully they provided you with
a full fridge of yummy food including treats and wine.

They have now found a perfect solution for their animals and you will be called upon lots.

What are they doing for you? When will the favour be repaid?

It would have been better for a spa day for both of you or something like that to spend the day together and then additional cash as a top up. I do think this has been too easy and cheap for them they will be both delighted.

I think they have taken advantage of your good nature. I had lived in West Yorkshire 25 yrs of my life and I do think it’s taking advantage of you. You have put in some serious hours looking after their animals.

Make sure they don’t take advantage of you as they will be working out when they can ask you next to look after their animals!

You saved her a fortune and this way you can buy yourself a decent treat like a spa day or clothes that you actually like

I think it’s nice. Maybe she feels that any favour she does in return for you wouldn’t be as big? It’s really hard with pets sometimes, we had a pet who couldn’t board and we were so reliant on friends and family - it’s a tie. Sounds like you made the difference between them having a holiday or not having one.

I needed to read this nice thread today, thank you x

You're a lovely friend to do that, and she's a lovely friend who doesn't take your efforts for granted.

I have friends help me with my dog when I go away, I always pay them as it would cost me double if I had to use kennels. I feel awkward when friends try to give the money back or refuse it and it makes me not want to ask again. So take it, you have saved them a lot of money and stress.

Honestly don't do that.

I hate when friends have paid me or tried to pay me for favours too.

But you did something that involved a lot of effort and time and that saved her money and she is probably extremely grateful and feels like if she didn't pay she would be taking advantage and not showing you just how appreciative she is.

She probably feels way better about giving you the money and still sees it as a favour rather than something she paid for you to do. Think about it from her point of view, you feel bad for taking the money but from her perspective you were so so helpful and she would feel worse if you didn't take it.

If someone gives you a gift and you try to decline politely and they insist, in this context, take it - you'll upset them far more by refusing it!

They know you did them a huge favour, they know kennels would have been horrible for the dog and more expensive and a professional home sitter would have been astronomical.

Trust them, as the adults they are, that they've evaluated whether they can afford to give you this money and are right, and leave it at that. What you then spend it on is entirely your business, treat your cats, treat a rescue, enjoy.