I looked after a friend's dog and cat as a favour and on return they have given me money

[Dameputtingonabraveface]

Just this really. A newish friend has a quite needy rescue dog (does not cope with doggy day care, kennels or walks, needs booking into a dog park). As a result, she and her husband do not really go away together unless a close family member can have the dog. They recently all went away as a family and I agreed to stay and spent lots of time visiting in the weeks leading up so dog in question knew me.

I stayed at their house for 2 weeks, went to work in the day (dog used to this, and I went back for lunch as office just 10 mins away). Before work I would go back to mine to feed and spend time with my cats (I foster and also have adopted too many) and do the same on the way home. I went home for a couple of hours about 3 times to spend some time with them and also spent a bit of time at the weekends.

My friend came home last night and when I took the keys back today, they gave me a Thank You card with £200 in! This just seems too much and makes me feel quite awkward. When I messaged them this, they told me they appreciated that I 'looked after their babies' but I was just helping out as a friend! We both just work in the public sector and she is on a lower grade than me (although has a husband so dual income).

It feels weird accepting this and I wondered what other people think?

Thanks all. I was more than happy to do it but I am exhausted 😩. Dog in question slept in bed with me every night (which was huge and reassuring for owners) but meant I did not have a great night's sleep! I work in child protection and the two weeks were busy anyway. I love all animals, have rescued rabbits, guinea pigs, hedgehogs etc over the years but I realise I am very much a cat person! It is like looking after a toddler again. I still feel wierd about a friend paying me for a favour though.

You sound like a level-headed, kind and generous person (not too generous I hasten to add - you just sound like a lovely person), they probably realise how lucky they are to have you as a friend and that you were willing to do this huge favour for them.

You’re a good egg, and they sound decent too.

They are not paying you!!

They are expressing how appreciative and grateful they are.

@RandomMess, if you are in the West Yorkshire are, let me know. It appears I am quite good at it 😀

She has turned your gift into a transaction.

I would not be pleased.

To add, I once gave a friend’s sister £200 to thank her and her partner for putting me up for quite a few days in her spare room in London. She was really thrown and said it was unnecessary and tried to give it back to me. (Awkwardness.) I wasn’t paying her in my mind, I was expressing my gratitude for her kindness and hospitality.

What would you do with the money then?

As the owner of a dog that can't be left with anyone but our dog walker or trainer (costing us about £350 a week), I would be absolutely beside myself with gratitude if someone could look after him as a favour and I would honestly be stuck to say just how thankful I was. Accept the £200 and know it's because your friend is so happy you have helped her she doesn't know a way to express that thanks, so gave you a little treat.

@Dameputtingonabraveface I’m not that far, plus have 4 cats and only 1 neurotic dog 🤣 the dog sleeps with me but is trained that she isn’t permitted to touch me 😜

@ MesonBoson, I can assure you that is not the case. I have had some horrible times in the couple of years I have known her and she has been a lovely and supportive friend. I am lucky to have her in my life.

Don’t look at it as her paying you, it’s was just a symbol of her gratitude. I’ve had people do the same and done the same in return, it’s not paying or stopping it being a favour for a friend, it’s just one friend doing a favour and another essentially being like thank you so much buy something you would enjoy as thanks (instead of just a gift you might not enjoy)

She's showing you that she values you and your time. You both sound like lovely people ♥️

Exactly. It was a drain on your time, energy, sleep etc. £200 is a reward for that.
Generally threads of this sort are people complaining that they’ve been taken advantage of. Eg by pet sitting for someone and not compensated. You seem upset you have been!
I think be grateful you have a kind caring colleague who is considerate of her dogs and also you.

£200 is really just a token for what you have done .

I think you should message her to say 'this is lovely but I really hope it's not payment, I definitely didn't expect that, I just really wanted to help.'

I suspect that they'll say 'Oh no! this is just token thanks so you can have a lovely evening out' or whatever.

They could easily have spent that amount on, say, a bunch of flowers (£40) and a nice bottle of wine (£20) plus a meal voucher for two.

what you've done would have cost them £500+ i think.

I would personally decide now whether or not you would be willing to do it again in the future, so you know your answer in advance if you’re asked again.
You sound very lovely by the way, hope you get some rest.

@RandomMess, justlet me know when I am needed 😀

Well you sound lovely, accept it, I used to give money to our friend who kindly took care of our dog, and brought him some duty free tabs back lol, I was very grateful, take the money and just say thank you.

My partner and I wanted to go to a concert down south a few years ago. Our eldest rescue dog was then 5, and we needed someone to look after her. She is very sociable but hadn't been away from us since we adopted her.

My son's friend happened to live near the concert venue, as it was in a university town. She offered to look after our dog, so we dropped her off before the concert.

I think she was expecting a tenner at best, but we gave her £60 plus some chocolates. She said it was too much, but it really wasn't. She deserved every penny for looking after our precious baby so well.

I have already told them, as long as I am not away (I travel a lot now DC off to uni and I am a widow so only have to please myself) then I am available. I just like that they have been able to go away together for a change!

I think your friend is trying to let you know she absolutely does not take your help for granted. I have animals that can't go to commercial care and I am lucky to have someone in my network who did what you did. I too put some money in an envelope because the favour was hugely appreciated. Your friend may also want to ask you again and perhaps feels far more comfortable doing so if there is a gesture of appreciation. I think you should accept it in the spirit it is intended - true gratitude.

This.

Seems you are a lovely friend and they appreciate you / living in someone’s house for 2weeks and taking care of their beloved pets is a big deal

OhDearWhatDoWeHaveToDoHere should take a leaf out of your friends book

I have been on the receiving end of something like this. Looked after a friend's grandson during a family wedding . Would have done it as a favour. The couple put money in a card . I said Thank you very much but not necessary. They replied and I bet your couple felt the same that it was invaluable for them to leave their loved one in the care of such a good person . And they were able to totally relax and not be stressed or worried.
Just graciously say Totally unexpected, not necessary but thank you very much .

@Dameputtingonabraveface oh shall I time it for when we next have kittens 😜

I would accept it graciously. They’re obviously really appreciative of you. It’s a fraction of what they would have paid for kennels anyway.