Aibu Retiring at 55 - 30 years of idleness?

[Scotsknowbest]

So this is the thing: so many local friends have given up working in the last few years in their early to mid 50s, aibu to think what on earth are you going to do to stay interested and interesting?
I thought perhaps they would shut the house up and set off on a big trip but holidays have been more like 2 weeks in Greece instead of one.
I thought perhaps they would volunteer but that seems too restrictive for them.
I thought some might use their professional skills to join executive boards as NEDs or in advisory roles. But no.
Some have upped their golf or tennis, some are focusing on the garden (what, every day?) some walk the dog, read the paper.
I just think they will become so boring!
In contrast I caught up with 3 old school friends this evening who I see about once or twice a year. I asked them when they thought they would retire and each thought mid 60s.
Many of my friends have inherited recently and I think this has been the nudge. I have also inherited but I don't feel any different!
Just for context I am 57, work in 2 roles, one executive, board level, one professional but different area (social work) which takes me to about 4 days a week but I also run 4 properties as a landlord and have an aging dad who lives a mile away who I help with admin, appointments, organising stuff. I also have 2 grown kids the youngest at uni, 1st year. So, not as busy as when I worked and had little kids, but pretty busy in a good way. Personally I can't imagine stopping working so aibu, is 50to55 simply too young to be retiring even if the catalyst has been a windfall inheritance?

YABU to police what other people do with their time. I plan to retire around mid-fifties and certainly won’t be joining any boards or taking on advisory roles 🥱 🥱 I’ll carry on my volunteering, which is one morning a week, but the rest of my time will be chilling out, spending time with DH, spending time with kids and (hopefully) grandkids, seeing friends and holidays.

@ForCosyLion DH and I do have defined benefits pensions but a big chunk of our income is from our investments.This has been ongoing for both of us from before we knew each other. I started investing, small from very young after a lecture on the evils of the stock market by a very left wing militant labour supporting teacher. Who remembers militant labour? They most famous was Derek Hatton, Trotskyite turned property developer, you couldn’t make it up. I hadn’t even heard of the stock market at 14, I just thought well sounds like free money to me. There have been losses obviously but overall a very good return.

If that's all you do when you're not at work, I can see why the idea of retirement bothers you.

But, as is obvious from your list of things your deficient friends could be doing but are not, you already know that there is plenty to be done in the world outside one's paid job. A lot of people do not like their jobs and have never been defined by them.

It's really not hard to understand if you actually WANT to understand rather than do a stealth boast about what a busy interesting bee you are.

Would it be unfair of me to say you sound like a rather dull London stereotype who has spent their life on a public sector/NGO treadmill and needs that identity to feel fulfilled?

Yes, because it would make me as judgmental as you!

Live and let live.

My mum was mostly a SAHM and das retired at 55. So did both of my uncles. All of then aree in their 80s now.
They are certainly not bored. Mum gets up at 5.am.and watches her favourite TV programmes for an hour and half then it's on with her day. Dad gets up a bit later but they have day trips, meet friends go away every other two weeks for a week at a time from April to October. Dad follows his favourite sports team and also loves cycling.
Mum always says boring people make themselves bored, there's always something interesting to do if you want to find it.

I wish I had that opportunity retirement seems a long way off at the moment!!

Who cares if you find them boring? They're not living their life for you. I find the idea that you have to be busy doing big things or working all the time incredibly tedious but so what? It's none of my business.

I retired 2 years and I’m having a great time! I’m never bored now - but I was bored at work plenty of times!

I think it depends on the person and what you do.

My FIL retired at 50 then basically did very little. He aged about 10 years almost overnight. Suddenly his work was small and his only social life was a couple of hours at the pub on a Friday. He became quite right wing. It was mad to watch!

Husband just about to "retire" at 55 as he is absolutely broken by 30 years of teaching but he has started up a private business and getting into home tuition. His father took early retirement at 5 from teaching and did sit on his backside for over 30 years..Quite jealous being able to go at 55 as my pension doesn't kick in for years.

Also really confused about what's weird about a gardener gardening every day.

I agree with you, OP. I'm sure early retirement can be terrible for the brain and cognition, if not kept sufficiently active. How many crosswords would I need to do etc to keep the old brain in top condition?😵‍💫😅

Seriously though, my DH is 56 and I'm sure he'd love early retirement but we have 3 DC, two of whom are primary school age, and our pension pot isn't really big enough at all 😬

I retired at 60.
Firstly, I'm not idle... I'm just not in paid employment.
Secondly, I think it's very dangerous to assume I'll live into my mid 80s, and the longevity of parents is irrelevant. We all have friends who died in their 50s and 60s, so if I only have a few years left, then I want to enjoy them!

Currently in Spain. Yesterday my DH and I found out that I am eligible for residency through him.
I am fully planning my retirement now. I'm 62 soon and have worked bloody hard all my life so bring it on.

Working doesn't necessarily make you more interesting! I've just retired at 56 from a profession that I never really liked, that has caused me physical and mental health problems and that ruined all the time off I did have with stress. I would do anything but talk about work outside of work. Now I have time. Time to explore the local area, time to travel, time to watch spring unfold and learn about wildlife. I am learning about history, going to learn another language, take up piano playing again. I walk loads, have more time and head space for my husband, adult daughters, neighbours, family and friends. I will do some volunteering but need to decompress from work before making another regular commitment.

Honestly, if you love your work and colleagues then keep working, but there's a whole other world and life out there and I wanted to experience that before getting too old or developing health problems. At least 3 friends have passed away in the past couple of years in their mid 50s to early 60s and several others have life-limiting conditions.

We don't have millions saved, but we have enough to last to state pension age and live carefully and on a budget.

My DH did. He was made redundant and took early retirement because he had a great pension.

Oh my days! You sound amazing! What a brilliant life you have. You really are something special, loved hearing about your day. You definitely are superior to your rubbish friends.

Happy now?

I'm 58 and although at the moment I dislike my part time job and I'd love to be able to retire, I probably could, but I need money to fund my craft, garden and other wants and not necessary needs. I also hate exercise, walking, no desire for a dog or "going for coffee". I'm quite anti social so wouldn't be meeting up with friends every week or monthly either.

Probably depends on how much you enjoy your job. I’d happily retire tomorrow if I could - I’m 50 and work long days in a nursery, my joints are starting to notice the floor/small chair work we have to do. Instead I have another 20 years of work ahead and I’m not looking forward to it.

To each their own op, I work in retail and in general a few years after the people we work with retire, they get a spring back in their step and look happy again. Most have said they’ve found the money aspect hard but worth it for getting their sleep, weekends and Christmas back!!

YANBU Between me and DH we have 8 parents because they divorced and remarried. They all retired at around 45-50. They're mid 70s now.

Each one of them are showing signs of very short term memory. When they were working they were hardworking, fun and switched on individuals. Six of the eight are now fairly right wing due to doom scrolling! All eight are on antidepressants

We've been pondering dementia in each one for so long. We'll always be on the lookout!

I'm unemployed at the moment because of redundancy but I have promised myself I'll always work / volunteer / side hustle. It's been a real eye opener

I frequently wake up in the night and worry about them all. 💐

Edited to add that I completely understand retiring from full time work. It's just important to find a way to keep busy somehow for a few hours a week

What a dated view on life OP!

I agree OP but if they are unhappy hopefully they’ll make a change.
I could retire now and immediately be busy but I wouldn’t ever want/ to have a long period of time with not much on, I’d fill the time

I think people who are smart and resourceful enough to have built up a massive pension pot to retire at 50-55 amd actually stop working and live off that pension are more likely to be people who keep their brains active and will actually do stuff that will keep their brain and bodies active.

The idea of using an inheritance that your parents have slogged for their entire lives to stop working, when you could actually still work is perverse. When I think of what had to be done by my parents (and especially my dad) to earn that money and keep earning while they were white haired and deserving of a rest themselves, there's no way I would use it to sit on my arse. They didn't work for me to squander it.

Is there anything you've always wanted to do? When you were younger and busier, did you ever think "I'd be doing X if I didn't have kids / need to make a living"?

In all your ‘busyness’ you seem to have failed to pick up on the fact that people are different and that they want and enjoy different things. How have you missed that?

We will be retiring at 50 and will do whatever we fancy, but we love being at home with our dogs so it’ll involve a lot of that. I don’t worry about staying interesting to others, I’m not here to entertain others. I’m only bothered about us being happy.

Personally I can’t stand the obsession some people have with staying busy and telling others they must stay busy. They always seem to be people who can’t cope without structure, whose life goes to shit without it, which is fine for them, but without fail, everyone I know like that pushes their own ways onto others, not realising that some of us can still function and be perfectly happy without rigid structure every day. Busy is overrated to us.