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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu Retiring at 55 - 30 years of idleness?

567 replies

Scotsknowbest · 15/04/2026 23:19

So this is the thing: so many local friends have given up working in the last few years in their early to mid 50s, aibu to think what on earth are you going to do to stay interested and interesting?
I thought perhaps they would shut the house up and set off on a big trip but holidays have been more like 2 weeks in Greece instead of one.
I thought perhaps they would volunteer but that seems too restrictive for them.
I thought some might use their professional skills to join executive boards as NEDs or in advisory roles. But no.
Some have upped their golf or tennis, some are focusing on the garden (what, every day?) some walk the dog, read the paper.
I just think they will become so boring!
In contrast I caught up with 3 old school friends this evening who I see about once or twice a year. I asked them when they thought they would retire and each thought mid 60s.
Many of my friends have inherited recently and I think this has been the nudge. I have also inherited but I don't feel any different!
Just for context I am 57, work in 2 roles, one executive, board level, one professional but different area (social work) which takes me to about 4 days a week but I also run 4 properties as a landlord and have an aging dad who lives a mile away who I help with admin, appointments, organising stuff. I also have 2 grown kids the youngest at uni, 1st year. So, not as busy as when I worked and had little kids, but pretty busy in a good way. Personally I can't imagine stopping working so aibu, is 50to55 simply too young to be retiring even if the catalyst has been a windfall inheritance?

OP posts:
JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 16/04/2026 19:39

Jeez. I’d retire tomorrow if I could. Work is so full on I don’t have the time or energy for anything else. Which is shit! I’ve got things I want to do, places to go, people to see! I’m very lucky to have a great job but it doesn’t define me. I actually think it’s sad that some people can’t think past their job.

abracadabra1980 · 16/04/2026 20:26

I have semi retired from age 57: main reason is that by that age, I'd lost more than 5 friends and acquaintances to cancer. None made it to 60. I enjoy my job and it is possible to do it very part time, so I may do a couple of hours a week here and there and I'm planning a long European campervan trip next year, if not tied to my DM'a health issues. It's a gamble as I don't have a huge pension pot, but the flexibility has meant I can have lie ins - spend more time with Ddogs, and do up my campervan. I'm not the 'cruisey' type and paid my mortgage off decades ago, so it works for me. I'm not bothered if i'm boring and skint in my 80's - there's over 200 channels on the tele and all of YouTube to keep me amused 😊

HarrietBeat · 16/04/2026 20:43

I see the OP disappeared...

Gardenalia · 16/04/2026 20:51

cardibach · 16/04/2026 18:14

And that’s what seems sad to me. To each her own though.

I don’t see what’s sad about that at all. Guess I’m just not ready yet to retire from a role I really enjoy. I’ll know when I’m ready, don’t worry.

Binsin · 16/04/2026 21:23

HarrietBeat · 16/04/2026 20:43

I see the OP disappeared...

Yes, that's a real shame isn't it because this is a really interesting thread with many different views.

SleepingStandingUp · 16/04/2026 21:26

Some people thrive on being constantly busy. Some people don't. Some people can enjoy relaxing and their own company. Some people can't.

I'd be fine retiring at 55 although I currently volunteer and I'd see it as a chance to up that, study, read more etc. But not having a constantly full diary doesn't mean you must be boring

RebeccaRedhat · 16/04/2026 21:34

I retired at 42 and bloody love it! I gym every day, take my mum shopping, get my hair done, facials, meet friends for lunch, walk my dog, keep on top of all my house work so when my husband finishes work and the kids are home from school we have a delicious healthy home cooked meal to enjoy together. I can't holiday exteavagantly as my youngest is still in primary school and older 2 are in high school doing exams for the next couple of years, but we have weekends away and holidays when we can. Whenever our aging parents have hospital/drs appointments I'm available to take them. It just works.
I don't really care if people think I'm boring or that I'll get bored. I love my life right now, and all that matters is that me and mine are happy and healthy. I've never been happier or healthier so I would say it's working out perfectly!

Binsin · 16/04/2026 21:35

Pennyfan · 16/04/2026 11:16

That is one of the smuggest posts I’ve ever read! But even smugger are all those people desperate to tell us how busy they are since they retired-learning languages and designing gardens. Retirement is precisely that-you can do what you want. If that involves binge watching All Creatures Great and Small, it doesn’t make you a lesser person. There is so much judgement over what is the ‘right’ kind of retirement. If you’re lucky enough to be able to decide whether to work or not, just thank your lucky stars you have the choice and focus on your own life rather than what you think others should be doing.

Goodness @Pennyfan I've just realised you are talking about me being smug about languages and gardens. Ouch!

I honestly wasn't being smug at all. I was just replying to the OP saying retiring = boredom and pointing out that that is absolutely not the case. I do what I want to do but if instead of that I chose Bargain Hunt and a nice cup of tea (which I do some days) then that's a wonderful retirement and no more boring than climbing the Matterhorn. I was trying to make the point that the world is your oyster.

I just didn't like the assumption in the OP that there are only two options - work vs boredom to the grave. One person's boring is another's deep contentment.

cardibach · 16/04/2026 21:43

Gardenalia · 16/04/2026 20:51

I don’t see what’s sad about that at all. Guess I’m just not ready yet to retire from a role I really enjoy. I’ll know when I’m ready, don’t worry.

But we weren’t talking about whether you enjoy your job - that’s great that you do. We were talking about you saying you would have no purpose without it and doing things to improve your own life would not be enough for you.

TheNameWasOnceChosen · 16/04/2026 21:44

I retired aged 50. Well, ill health retired. I was a Social worker too, loved my job and it was hard to leave. A stroke was the final thing but I have epilepsy and muliple sclerosis. I'm not bored, I cruise loads and spend my life at the gym.

Northernlights19 · 16/04/2026 21:46

Scotsknowbest · 15/04/2026 23:19

So this is the thing: so many local friends have given up working in the last few years in their early to mid 50s, aibu to think what on earth are you going to do to stay interested and interesting?
I thought perhaps they would shut the house up and set off on a big trip but holidays have been more like 2 weeks in Greece instead of one.
I thought perhaps they would volunteer but that seems too restrictive for them.
I thought some might use their professional skills to join executive boards as NEDs or in advisory roles. But no.
Some have upped their golf or tennis, some are focusing on the garden (what, every day?) some walk the dog, read the paper.
I just think they will become so boring!
In contrast I caught up with 3 old school friends this evening who I see about once or twice a year. I asked them when they thought they would retire and each thought mid 60s.
Many of my friends have inherited recently and I think this has been the nudge. I have also inherited but I don't feel any different!
Just for context I am 57, work in 2 roles, one executive, board level, one professional but different area (social work) which takes me to about 4 days a week but I also run 4 properties as a landlord and have an aging dad who lives a mile away who I help with admin, appointments, organising stuff. I also have 2 grown kids the youngest at uni, 1st year. So, not as busy as when I worked and had little kids, but pretty busy in a good way. Personally I can't imagine stopping working so aibu, is 50to55 simply too young to be retiring even if the catalyst has been a windfall inheritance?

Have you ever done a physically active job? Such as care work for example?

MoreNewThings · 16/04/2026 21:58

NRTFT, but have to say OP, that your ideas of how to fill your days without work seem to show a remarkable lack of imagination. Gardening, walks, coffee?
Can you really envisage no more fulfilling way to spend your days? You surely have some interests beyond work that you'd like to pursue, no?

As so many PPs on this thread have shown, life can be busy and more interesting than ever when you don't have work to get in the way and spoil things.

I stopped work in my early 50s, because it's my firm belief that the modern pattern and pressures of work are not suitable for every human - we're not all well-disposed for the rat race, and I certainly wasn't.

Since stopping, on a modest work-place pension with no partner to support me, I've chosen poor but happy over the misery of work.

I'm now at state pension age but in the intervening years I've made more new friends than I did in the rest of my lifetime put together, and not all of a similar age to me, or even retirees. But they are all a diverse bunch of "interested and interesting" people. I do four sports a week, two of them just started in the last year. I have done a degree, completed several FutureLearn courses and learned four languages. I have learned to play six musical instruments, again some in just the last couple of years, I play and sing in two bands - am very excited to be playing in my first festival shortly - and I sing in two choirs. I have researched my family tree and am working on family trees for three others. I am politically active, and am secretary of a local group, running a monthly stall and organising leafletting campaigns and other activities. I don't watch TV, I can't even think of the last time I sat on my sofa. When at home, life is spent in front of my computer researching, gaming, planning, learning, writing reports etc.

I have spent more time (and money) going to the theatre or music and comedy gigs than I ever had the energy for before, and consider myself to be more culturally knowledgeable than at any stage in my past.

Healthwise I am fortunate to be doing well, but I don't take this for granted. My sister died in her forties, I am currently the same age my father was when he died, and I am well aware that a long healthy future is not guaranteed. I have lost 4 stone through hard work over the last three years - I have a waist again! In my 60s! - but though this helps, I choose to live every day as if it were my last.

I've learned a new expression on this thread - boring people are bored. This could be true, as could the reverse - bored people are boring. But life is what you make it, they say, and I'd like to think I've managed to make my life anything but boring.

You, OP?

~Damn, I just name-changed, but I 'm going to have to do it again now!

DiscoBeat · 16/04/2026 22:00

Retired here for a while (55 now) and very busy! Multi generational situation with elderly parents, teenagers, older children, grandchildren, all needing support one way or another, pets, livestock and very busy shared hobby with DH so it's pretty full on. I'm definitely not bored!

Binsin · 16/04/2026 22:05

Gardenalia · 16/04/2026 17:13

The other thing that creeps me out about retiring is how many retired people I know who have become political extremists…

Amongst my friends I notice that people who have always have strong political beliefs or been activists then to put that energy to practical use when they retire. My oldest friend has always been fierce on environmental issues and now she has time on her hands has started a local 'keep plastic out of the ocean group'. They do talks at schools, set up litter picking days etc. It's great to have time to turn that passion into something practical and local.

I do hear you though, some people just go down a Tommy Robinson rabbit hole.

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 16/04/2026 23:05

NoMoreLifts · 16/04/2026 19:02

Not sure that breeding hamsters would take much effort or time or skill. Essentially 1 male, 1 female and you're fine. No input from you required. Now, giant pandas... that would be more challenging. 😀

Always one of you who shits on all us hard-working Syrian hamster breeders 😂 But yes, laughs aside, I was in a ranting flow; I definitely should have put pandas or platypuses or pangolins - all the difficult-to-breed-in-captivity P animals.

Pherian · 16/04/2026 23:12

Scotsknowbest · 15/04/2026 23:19

So this is the thing: so many local friends have given up working in the last few years in their early to mid 50s, aibu to think what on earth are you going to do to stay interested and interesting?
I thought perhaps they would shut the house up and set off on a big trip but holidays have been more like 2 weeks in Greece instead of one.
I thought perhaps they would volunteer but that seems too restrictive for them.
I thought some might use their professional skills to join executive boards as NEDs or in advisory roles. But no.
Some have upped their golf or tennis, some are focusing on the garden (what, every day?) some walk the dog, read the paper.
I just think they will become so boring!
In contrast I caught up with 3 old school friends this evening who I see about once or twice a year. I asked them when they thought they would retire and each thought mid 60s.
Many of my friends have inherited recently and I think this has been the nudge. I have also inherited but I don't feel any different!
Just for context I am 57, work in 2 roles, one executive, board level, one professional but different area (social work) which takes me to about 4 days a week but I also run 4 properties as a landlord and have an aging dad who lives a mile away who I help with admin, appointments, organising stuff. I also have 2 grown kids the youngest at uni, 1st year. So, not as busy as when I worked and had little kids, but pretty busy in a good way. Personally I can't imagine stopping working so aibu, is 50to55 simply too young to be retiring even if the catalyst has been a windfall inheritance?

I would love to retire and just take a couple years doing nothing to decompress.

Gardenalia · 16/04/2026 23:35

cardibach · 16/04/2026 21:43

But we weren’t talking about whether you enjoy your job - that’s great that you do. We were talking about you saying you would have no purpose without it and doing things to improve your own life would not be enough for you.

I’m not clear what my purpose would be, and at the moment I don’t feel just ‘be’ing would be satisfying, so I carry on and don’t retire. If you’ve spent your life working towards goals, I don’t think it’s particularly surprising that realising there’ll be no goal beyond the enjoyable moment is a concern.

aussiegonewrong · 17/04/2026 00:30

Scotsknowbest · 15/04/2026 23:46

Exactly this. My mum died at 88, dad currently 87 both fully with it. I am likely to be alive another 30 years. How many coffees, lunches out and walks can I do!

There are no guarantees my parents are both in their 90s and still with it , but I had cancer in my mid fifties which forced early retirement and also my younger sister did too and sadly she didn’t make it .
I live every day grateful to be still here and making the most of my life , it’s certainly not boring
Old age is a massive privilege and if people want to garden or go for lunch let them , likewise if you want to still work that’s fine too , it’s up to you

HarrietBeat · 17/04/2026 00:30

Yes, that's a real shame isn't it because this is a really interesting thread with many different views

I don't think it's balanced though as it's overwhelmingly positive about early (and regular age) retirement. But some people really struggle with endless leisure time and retirement feels like a prison rather than freedom.

Whilst this thread is full of crafting, holidaying, journaling gardeners, in real life many retirees make the stroll to the newsagents and the pot of tea last as long as possible whilst thinking how the hell do I fill the next 5 hours let alone 5 years.

Loadsalies · 17/04/2026 00:48

aussiegonewrong · 17/04/2026 00:30

There are no guarantees my parents are both in their 90s and still with it , but I had cancer in my mid fifties which forced early retirement and also my younger sister did too and sadly she didn’t make it .
I live every day grateful to be still here and making the most of my life , it’s certainly not boring
Old age is a massive privilege and if people want to garden or go for lunch let them , likewise if you want to still work that’s fine too , it’s up to you

My dm was late 80s. Df died in his 50s. 2 siblings died of cancer before 60. 1 has survived it. Odds are I'll get it? Hopefully not but likely.

We just don't know what's around the corner. I've known so many people die before 60.
Seems to be lots of younger ones lately. I don't know if that's just how it goes as you age? Maybe you notice more?

HeddaGarbled · 17/04/2026 01:16

many retirees make the stroll to the newsagents and the pot of tea last as long as possible whilst thinking how the hell do I fill the next 5 hours let alone 5 years

Is that true though? Is that actual fact or just a cliché? I can see that it might be true for the lonely elderly who have lost their spouses and friends, but not for people in their 50s & 60s who have made a conscious choice to take early retirement.

HeddaGarbled · 17/04/2026 01:20

Just to add, I retired at 58, am now 66 and these have been my happiest years since university.

SkipAd · 17/04/2026 02:45

OK I will be honest I only RTFT until page 18 or so, but I looove this thread,
Like others, retired earlier than 60.
60 now. Christ, I am so less interested and interesting according to OP? Shit,was there a literal age? I mean when we were kids were we more or less interesting😬

..

Aweekoffwork · 17/04/2026 04:29

I’m 61 and have not one but FOUR jobs, including some voluntary work, working nearly 50 hours a week in total. In contrast, my closest friend works three hours per MONTH and spends her time:

Zumba.ing
Yoga.ing
Long walks in the countryside
Swimming at a local Spa Hotel
Travelling abroad and around the UK
Eating out/meeting friends for coffee

That all sounds lovely but the hobbies I enjoy I can, fortunately, fit around work which makes my life a bit of a whirlwind but fun, with chores at home having to be done at break-neck speed

I can’t imagine my husband retiring either, same age, he seems to thrive on having projects, being busy and earning money

Justthethingsthatyoudointhisgarden · 17/04/2026 06:45

OP, what they do is none of your business.