Aibu Retiring at 55 - 30 years of idleness?

[Scotsknowbest]

So this is the thing: so many local friends have given up working in the last few years in their early to mid 50s, aibu to think what on earth are you going to do to stay interested and interesting?
I thought perhaps they would shut the house up and set off on a big trip but holidays have been more like 2 weeks in Greece instead of one.
I thought perhaps they would volunteer but that seems too restrictive for them.
I thought some might use their professional skills to join executive boards as NEDs or in advisory roles. But no.
Some have upped their golf or tennis, some are focusing on the garden (what, every day?) some walk the dog, read the paper.
I just think they will become so boring!
In contrast I caught up with 3 old school friends this evening who I see about once or twice a year. I asked them when they thought they would retire and each thought mid 60s.
Many of my friends have inherited recently and I think this has been the nudge. I have also inherited but I don't feel any different!
Just for context I am 57, work in 2 roles, one executive, board level, one professional but different area (social work) which takes me to about 4 days a week but I also run 4 properties as a landlord and have an aging dad who lives a mile away who I help with admin, appointments, organising stuff. I also have 2 grown kids the youngest at uni, 1st year. So, not as busy as when I worked and had little kids, but pretty busy in a good way. Personally I can't imagine stopping working so aibu, is 50to55 simply too young to be retiring even if the catalyst has been a windfall inheritance?

@Moveyourbleedingarse are you me?! I spent about 7 years as a stay at home mum before working (mainly) in schools for the past decade or so - currently in a school office. I find the long holidays rather boring as my children are now older and don’t need me and my husband has a full-on job so I vegetate. I definitely could up my (currently non-existent) exercise and I would like to do some travelling with my husband when he retires, but I’ve had years of pottering and volunteering. At the moment I feel I need a career (rather than a job) to actually retire from but my energy level is not what it once was and I’ve no idea what I want to do!

You’re in a very privileged position to be able to continue doing your job. My husband started a physical job at 16 and has done one ever since. He’s in his early 50s now there’s no way he will still be able to continue into his 60s! He keeps himself fit and healthy by eating well and exercising but his knees and shoulders are shot to pieces!

I would add that a lot of people talk about "giving/contributing" as a value, but there's also value in "not taking".

When I retire, I will travel mostly by train and ferry - lower emission options possible if you have time to do it.

I'll grow my own food with low food miles, recycle and repair more diligently.

I'll exercise and take full care of my health.

I'll try and use services at times generally not convenient to those working.

It takes time to do things the slow way, to make sure that I don't take things from the planet and society that can't be replaced.

apart from the ages, I could have written this.

me too.

I do wonder if the "Oh people get boring if they don't work and when you retire, you have to keep busy and contribute" people have drunk the Kool Aid?

what are you talking about? I value myself very highly indeed and I have a very good life which I don’t particularly thinks needs making any better. What gave you the opposite ideas?

I'm with you, OP. It's a consensus for nearly everyone I know that once you retire, you become painfully boring to everyone else. I've seen it too many times.... It's different to slow down. But if you don't stay busy with something, you can really no longer relate to those that are.

The fact you’ve clearly said doing something to improve your own quality of life isn’t sufficient purpose to do it. That you think it’s better to frame it as ‘making your life able to go back to work’ in order to make it worthwhile. Just my perception of that, really.

For the 254783528473628th time retired people can very easily be busy!
Do you really talk to your friends about work? Because I’d be bored rigid if you did that to me. I suspect you talk about your experiences and interests rather more. Retired people have more of those. The ones I know are pretty interesting (or at least interesting in the same proportion as working people are).

Ok but being able to fulfil my sense of purpose is what gives my life meaning and happiness - travelling and standing around gazing at other people living their lives doesn’t, perhaps I’ve not explained it very well, sorry!

The other thing that creeps me out about retiring is how many retired people I know who have become political extremists…

That sounds to me like self-justification for not having the choice to give up work, or the imagination to see what else there is to life. What is painfully boring is to be with people who can only talk about work all the time - and I thought that as much when I was working as now I am not ;)

You must just know boring people then. I know plenty of retired people who are very interesting.

I’m surprised at this, I know quite a few people who retired in their Early fifties, many police officers who have done their time. And they certainly didn’t become boring, they go off to gigs, travel, do (motor) bike trips. One, from a different field, bought a boat often fucks off to France for lunch.

I struggle to see how as they don’t work they are boring. do you feel this about everyone with no job, stay at home mums, the wealthy?

im going to early retire at year end, I can’t wait. I intend to travel for long weekends to Europe once a month, do Pilates and yoga classes. Go out to lunch with my friends, spend days in London as I live just outside, see the museums, shows, time on the south bank, because I’m lucky that I’m young enough, healthy enough ans affluent enough that I can. Lots of gigs as usual, festivals a couple of times a year as usual and the usual pub quiz.

if anything my life will be fuller than it was when I was working, because I’m no longer stuck in front of a computer.

however I also know people who retired and their worlds shrunk, don’t leave their small villages or towns, sit in front of the tv all day or potter in their gardens, seldom go out and the supermarket or dentist becomes a trip out for the day.

and that’s not about them becoming boring, they are still the same people. Just their worlds are now small but their conversation skills, intelligence, personality type has not changed they are still the same people, but for many onlookers their lives look small.

I think what you are saying could, and I labour the word could be interpreted (misinterpreted perhaps) as you thinking you just being is not enough, you are only worthwhile if you are doing things for people/for society. That may be totally wide of the mark of course. I think that may have been what the other poster meant or was picking up on - it sounded a bit like I only have value in relation to what I do for others so I can't stop that.

Love my job and happy to be there as long as they want me.
I've cut my hours so I can be a charity trustee in my spare time.
I think we're very much on the same page, OP :)

Yes, currently just ‘being’ is not enough

And that’s what seems sad to me. To each her own though.

I really don’t get this. The vast majority of my friends are now retired and we have way more varied and interesting conversations than we did when we were all working, because we all have way more time to do interesting and varied things. Trying to get this friendship group together is way more difficult than when we were working as we are all so busy.
I don’t quite understand what makes working people more interesting when most of your busy time is spent juggling work/home/kids? I’ve been there so I do know what it’s like! But I don’t recongnise tbe boring retired people being portrayed on this thread.

I’m 57 and absolutely love my job, I really couldn’t consider retiring anytime soon. My parents were in their 70s when they retired. My dad had worked since he was 15 in a fairly physical job. My friend who is the same age as me constantly talks about retiring, but she’s in a high stress job that she hates and has significant health issues - so retirement is an attractive option for her. We’re all different.

Not sure that breeding hamsters would take much effort or time or skill. Essentially 1 male, 1 female and you're fine. No input from you required. Now, giant pandas... that would be more challenging. 😀

OP, I think you are being unreasonable to make generalisations. There are so many factors in everyone’s lives which drive their decisions; some people make the right decisions and some don’t.

Age(s),
Family,
Health,
Funds,
Interests,
Etc.

My husband is older than me and retired from his full-time work, at 62, when he was, in effect, working full-time in a stressful job when he could retire and take half his salary in pension. He then did agency work for a few years, which he thoroughly enjoyed, reduced his stress, barely reducing our joint income even when he gradually reduced his days.

I then had the opportunity to take early retirement at 56 and took the chance. We used to joke, on the work commute, that unexpected sunny days were ‘over the hills and far away’ days. Retirement meant we could go ‘over the hills’ for the day with impunity !

We ‘wasted’ a lot of money travelling and both pursued interests and voluntary work until various health issues hit us. We were never bored until now when I am struggling with having to give up travel, hobbies and voluntary work with the subsequent limited physical and mental activity due to his Alzheimer’s.

I don’t regret one day of the early retirements.

It may be trite to say that only boring people are bored but in most cases it is true. I am more frustrated than bored. I may be boring due to my world having shrunk so dramatically but as there are still people who seem to be interested in talking to me I would say not.

If you think retirement only means coffees, lunches out and walks then perhaps you are the boring one? And don't forget, none of us know how many years we have left...

I lost my mum when she was 68 and my dad when he was 75. Do you think I should wait until I'm 67 to retire? It must be nice to know you are going to live a nice long life.

DH is retiring at 55 in June and myself in December, same age. Cannot wait. Tomorrow is not promised. Neither of my parents made 70.