To not have gone to hospital with bf?

[ShatterLily]

I have a 7 yo and nearly 3 year old and I'm pregnant again unplanned and I'm not sure what I want to do I only found out a few days ago but I don't know if it's actually positive as I had 1 positive 1 negative but my period is late and I don't know what to do if I am as youngest was premature and had a traumatic early few months with getting very unwell. He's hard work tbh and barely eats anything and doesn't talk (he is partially deaf though)

Our relationship is quite tense atm He's classed as obese but due to his height (6ft 3) it doesn't really show he was 21 stone 4 but since the start of the year he's gone to 20 st 6 so he is trying to eat better but I usually make his lunch when I make my eldests for school. He's also still obsessed with any fizzy drink and he vapes which ice told him I don't like as he's also got asthma he's taken to doing it outside when he thinks I don't know

It really doesn't take that much extra time but the past few days have been hard as we all were unwell and 2yo hasnt been sleeping so I've been exhausted

Today I didn't make my bf any lunch and he was in a mood when I got home and said he'd eaten junk out the fridge (sausage rolls and crisps) and accuser me of not helping him lose weight

So I already wasn't pleased with him butthe ended up having an asthma attack which is probably down to the cough he still has when from we were all unwell last week but also the vape

He still wasn't any better after he had his inhaler and in the end I phoned the ambulance I didn't go with him as I'm home with the children

I feel like he sort of wanted me to go with him and his mum is shocked that I haven't gone and has called me cruel. I need outsiders opinions because I don't have much sympathy for him right now

AIBU to not go?

@ShatterLily Is he the father of your 2 children?

I work P/T and i have to fit around school time and appointments for my youngest he’s only in nursery part time too anything else would be too much for him at this stage

Bf studies and works as a deliveroo driver he says it’s more flexible compared to other jobs as he can pick when he works etc and how long for

I've sent DP to resus on his own a couple of times. He has an unstable, serious medical condition and ends up in A and E multiple times a year. If the kids are with me, there's no other option.

You made a judgement call and stayed home to mind your 2 young kids. You did nothing wrong. If your bf was in a bad way, would he have preferred you there? sure. We all like company when something unexpected happens. But you did what you thought was right for you and your kids at that time. I would just let it pass over if you can. Say as little as you can if anyone complains about it. You made a judgement call at the time, nothing wrong with that. Who's to say that bringing the kids would have gone well either. Id focus on getting your bf recovered and general mom stuff. Its plenty to be doing

Yanbu to stay at home.

Rethink this baby OP.
You have enough to deal with.

Rethink the manchild too.
You deserve better.

You have to work part time because you have to do all nursery drop offs and pick ups while your lazy bf sits at home eating lunch that he expects you to make.

He doesn't look after the two children you already have and only works when he feels like it. What does he bring to your life?

@ShatterLily is your boyfriend the father of your 2 children?

Did his mum offer to take the kids?
And no, I'm not saying a grandmother automatically has to, but as she called you cruel, OP?

He can make his own lunch but he then usually grabs unhealthy food because it's quicker than ‘better’ food

But that’s his problem, not yours.

He sounds like an arsehole.

Also, my ex was six foot three and very broad-shouldered (former rugby league player) and he weighed about 15 stone, so I’m struggling to believe that your partner being 21 stone ‘doesn’t show’.

Why does she need.to pick him up? She may not even drive and sounds like she doesn't have a ton of childcare. Not everyone has someone they can ring who will babysit at the drop of a hat.

I think the boyfriend isn’t the children’s father. (OP says “my dc” rather than “our dc”)

Which is maybe why the guy’s mum would call the OP ‘cruel’. Any grandmother would want their young grandchildren comfortable at home instead of in an A&E waiting room for hours.

OP- if this isn’t the case and your boyfriend IS the father of your kids, I apologise.

You did nothing wrong who would take kids to the hospital. And you know more than likely he will he ok also

He takes youngest to nursery and i take eldest to school but youngest doesn’t go to nursery everyday so i can’t work FT.

Bf is my 2yo dad but not my eldests.

You don't need an extra child.you already have a man child.