AIBU to ask our nanny to wear less perfume around the children?

[Panamanian]

We have a nanny who does after school/nursery care for my primary and nursery aged children. Recently she has started wearing a lot of perfume - to the extent that I can smell it in the house even after she has left and on my children when I put them to bed (even after a bath). I’m 8 weeks pregnant so appreciate I’m probably more sensitive than normal but DH has noticed it too.
Would I be unreasonable to gently ask her to tone it down? And if not, how would you raise it in a way that doesn’t upset her?

Just say ‘I’m pregnant, and my sense of smell has gone super-strength. Could you stop wearing perfume to work until further notice? Thanks.’

I would say it's causing you to have really bad headaches. Could she not wear it to work.
Bit then I'm a bit blunt!🤣

This is all you need

i am a nanny, and think you are very reasonable. Nothing worse than getting your kids back and having them smell ‘wrong’.

just kindly and to the point
”hi X,
recently your perfume has become stronger and the hosue still smells like it even once you’ve left and so do the children. Please can you not apply perfume on days you work for us? I really appreciate it.

We are asked not to wear perfume for work as nurses due to sensitive respiratory Illnesses etc. Nobody really wants to smell overpowering perfume- it’s gross! I’d tell her.

It's fine, you're her employer, it's not an unreasonable ask at all. I love perfume and always wear it, but if my employer said I couldn't because it was making them sick I'd just have to wear that.

Absolutely.

A friend of mine has such violent reactions to certain smells (violent nausea and headaches) that he stipulates a scent-free office. No scented deodorant, aftershave or perfume on anyone.

I once watched him get into a car with someone who'd forgotten (his own brother!) for a lift to a one-off event he was really keen to go to, and even though his brother realised, immediately got out of the car and used bottled water and tissues to scrub his wrists and neck, my friend had to get out of the car after a couple of miles and throw up on the roadside. It can be pretty disabling.

YANBU at all. I hate strong perfume. My mum wears too much of it and the smell ends up on my clothes (after I have given her a hello/goodbye hug) and on my kids and in my house. Of course she is my mum not my employee so I can't ask her not to wear it! But for a paid nanny you can and should definitely ask her to wear no (or at least less) perfume.

The worst is when people get perfume all over babies, they completely ruin the delicious baby smell!

Someone told me rubbing alcohol on the oversprayed areas removes the scent. It worked for me.

Not unreasonable. But if you want to soften it, I’d blame the pregnancy (if she’s aware/you’re happy to tell her).

If she's only recently started to wear perfume that strong has she been given it as a gift; or is she trying to tell you in not so many words that there's a smell in your home?

What a bizarre take on the situation 🥴

OP YANBU, just tell her to stop wearing it or tone it down, I had this years ago in work, a guy who sat near me in work had aftershave so strong, within 30 mins of him coming in in the morning, the other person who sat near him and I both had banging headaches.

I get asthma and when I went on holiday with my parents my Dad's strong after shave / deodorant was triggering my breathing- he just used a different one. Just say something along those lines, that although you love the smell it's triggering an allergy.

One of the children in my class does not like unfamiliar or strong smells so we don't were perfume to school.

Just make sure you say it in person and not by txt message.

I’m surprised at the previous comments. I guess you could blame the pregnancy, but I wouldn’t consider someone wearing perfume to be something you could complain about.

I don't think it's unreasonable at all; however, I only wear perfume probably about five times a year because I think it's disastrous for your health. I really regret wearing perfume when I was pregnant and when my children were young.

Maybe she's trying to cover up the smell of alcohol/cigarettes? Thinking of my teenage years here😅.
YANBU- not pregnant but I hate the smell of perfume when it's too much.

I have a nanny and it was one of the first things I specified when she started (as she came to the job interview smelling very nice but a bit strong). Perfume is actually really bad for us and especially young children.

Coconut oil also works!

I'm a nanny and have been asked to not wear perfume (I normally don't when working with under ones because no one wants their baby smelling like Byredo's bibliotheque when they snuggle down for bedtime cuddles...) and have absolutely no problem with it. I do think there is a difference between an office environment and not wanting your kids to smell of their caregiver. If I'm going out after work then I just apply it when I've left.

There's the obvious "I'm pregnant and super sensitive to smells" but if you don't want to tell her you're pregnant yet then I would just politely ask if she would mind wearing less/none as you'd rather not have loads of fragrance around the kids.

The thought of that makes it 100 times worse 😅

If you are the employer I'm pretty sure you can. Obviously she could decide she doesn't want to work for an employer who stipulates no perfume but unless somehow perfume wearing has to be reasonable adjustment for a disability I'm pretty sure you can stipulate no perfume.
I think people who are not scent sensitive have no idea how much people who are can be bothered by perfume. It is a huge migraine trigger for me.

Me neither.

yandbu, fragrance allergy is one of the most common and it can get very VERY bad, with sufferers resembling burns victims in extreme cases. And obvs once triggered it's hard to rewind from that. Not to mention the weird toxic chemical issues. Saying this as a sufferer- do ask her!