AIBU to think paying grandparents for after-school childcare feels unusual

[Wendyhose]

I don’t mean as in the 5 day a week childcare but the 2-3 days afterschool care arrangements. If they are skint then I can understand that it’s a way of them getting money and you getting childcare but if they are ok financially, I do think it’s quite an odd arrangement that kind of alters the relationship.

For the record I’ve paid a grandparent, crèche and childminder over the years

No they didn’t but is that the point?
I am not referring to gp who give up paid work to look after grandchildren, but rather ones who are not working, look after grandchildren and get paid for it.
I know several and that never would
have been the case a generation ago.

It’s quite the norm where I’m from for grandparents to do the childcare. None of my immediate friends have ever paid for professional childcare and I would offend my parents and in-laws if I even offered.

What I will say though is, i never once expected them to adhere to my rules. What routines or rules etc that are in place in my house never had to be adhered to in theirs. It has never caused confusion or behavioural problems.

Oh I absolutely agree with this. I never imposed rules BUT given I paid my DM like a childminder, I suppose I would have been entitled to

I suppose I can’t see the problem with this - if you’d rather pay a relative than a stranger than it’s a choice.

My daughter babysat my son yesterday for the first time and I paid her. I hated being expected to babysit my own brother whenever my parents told me to. I actually paid her to babysit and paid him to listen. Mates rates though, not what I’d pay an actual adult.

I could have made a fortune! Missed a trick there 😂😂😂

I’d have to be starving over before I accepted money to look after my own grandchildren. You either do it or don’t.. but not for money!!!

I paid my parents the appropriate hourly rate for part time care during the day (DH worked shifts) and some before/after school care. My DM wanted to leave her full time job and timed it around us.

My view was that we were going to have to pay for childcare anyway.

Yes, it did impact on the relationship. My parents did not offer any other care outside of this, no babysitting, no visits or days out at any other time. I think they felt they had done their bit.

DM also chose to end the care when I had my second. She didn’t feel they could manage both DCs.