Trip of a lifetime, AIBU to go

[Onegiantpupil]

I’ve an opportunity to go on a trip of a lifetime abroad next year. It will be for just under 2 weeks. It will involve flying long haul to another continent and hiking with a guided group. Not Everest or anything as technical or dangerous as that but think beautiful scenery and occasionally higher altitude than what I’m used to.

DH and I have a DS who will be 6 at the time of the trip. DH is happy for me to go and our parents will help out a bit just so he’s not having to use all his annual leave and he can keep some aside for school holidays.

I would love to go but my brain is going into overdrive and I’m having intrusive thoughts. Mainly around whether this would be unfair on my DS who is a little behind in terms of development eg communication and being able to explain situations to him. He is being referred by the school for an EHCP for additional support. He is a happy and very easy going boy but the longest either I or DH have been away from DS is 4 days. I also worry about if something happens to me eg illness/injury/plane crash. I tell myself that I could just as easily walk down the road and get hit by a bus but it still doesn’t sit any easier with me.

I know I am an overthinker but I feel guilty about going. AIBU to go?

Get packing and have a wonderful trip!

Go, go, go and have a wonderful time

Go!
speaking as the mother to a disabled child. Please go.

I can't imagine anyone telling you not to go. You don't give up the right to live your life when you become a parent. Your son will be all the better for you having this experience and inspire him to do amazing things when he is older.

Take a deep breath, let go of the anxiety, remind yourself that DH is perfectly able to parent, love and reassure one 6yo by himself, and he isn't even going to be by himself as he has help.

Then get packing and go have a lovely time.

Go go go!

Go! You will be a better mother after this experience, so it will be benefitting your son as well as yourself. And you will be role modeling taking time for yourself and following your dreams, all of which are important for your son to see.

Get packing and go have some fun, being a parent dont mean your life has to stop.

Please go!

I'll repeat what I said on a separate post just a second ago. Go, have a wonderful time, then come back and tell us all about it! 🙏🏻

You're entitled to your life too. I do get it. I go on wonderful holidays with my husband now my teens don't want to go with me any more and the guilt and worry is awful at times but I don't let it stop me. It sounds like an amazing opportunity for you, grab it with both hands. Imagine telling your son when he's older 'i didn't go on an incredible trip when you were 6, because I was worried about about leaving you'. Hed tell you that you were crazy.

Btw I did a once in a lifetime trip through work when my DS was 6 months old. I felt the same but I went and I don't regret it. My DS is 14 now and often asks me to tell him about it. He's just impressed that I've been to that place., when I said I was worried about leaving him, he laughed at me 😂

Go and go well. I'm so pleased to see a mum on here prioritising her hobby/passions. A great example to your little chap who will be fine x

Please go. I read so many threads on here started by women who realise too late that their child grew up and moved out and that they focussed solely on their child to the point that they lost friendships and sight of who they are over 20+ years - it’s really sad to read.
You don’t cease to become a human in your own right just because you have a child, you can still follow your dreams!

Go, 100% go.

It's also nice for your husband and son to have time alone/strenghten their bond too.

It gets your little fella used to change while having the support of your DH too.

It will be good for both of them and also for you too.

Go! He'll miss you but he'll get through it and be so happy to see you when you're back. Dad and GP will look after him for you.

Oh my goodness GO !
And share a photo when you return! You'll have an amazing time, don't pass this up!

I accidentally clicked on YABU and can't change my vote.

Your DH is happy for you to go. Grandparents are happy to help out. It's only 2 weeks.

Definitely go.

Ah thank you all so much for your lovely posts. Have put the deposit down so I’m going!

I love that you have told your DS about your trip and he loved that you have been.

The guilt feelings are awful, I need to get better at shoving them away!

I certainly wouldn't start packing yet as you're likely to need some of those clothes in the next year but I'd definitely go

Brilliant! Sounds great.

Just go - you can whatsapp video with him every day and he can share in the excitement that way. He has his Dad and grandparents with him. He will be fine. And he will have something to talk about at Bring and Share in school!

Of course you must go! You are a person, as well as a parent. Your child will be absolutely fine, and it's not even a long trip.

I have the kind of thoughts you've mentioned OP but if you've left him for four days before I think he'd be ok for 2 weeks as he'll be older then.

I find it concerning that you don’t appear to have any confidence in your DH’s ability to parent his own child without your presence.

Go, have a wonderful time. Your DH and DS will be fine together.