Food banks

[Tiredboymum22]

When is it acceptable to use a food bank?

Is it only when you have no money left for food or when you need to cover other household costs?

Does anything go to waste or is it all used up by families in need?

Our utility bills have gone up. We have a load of rubbish in the garden that needs collecting but I have no car. It’s also overrun with weeds and brambles and I thought I’d have time to do it but I have a toddler and child with additional needs, and no village!

I want to pay someone to collect the bins and sort the garden out so the kids can play in the summer, but I’m on a tight budget and I’m worried it’ll cut into our food budget.

And unfortunately, as is shown by this thread, there is a large amount of people who think shoppers - who will be feeling the pinch themselves - should be happy to donate to others who may be better of than the donors because they are squeamish about delving a bit deeper into others' finances.
The pearl-clutcher upthread aghast that there is still the deserving and undeserving poor - too right there is. If i am going to donate because the rhetoric is the food will go to families in dire straits, i think i have every right to be annoyed if it goes to someone who would just rather not spend their money on food and let some other mug pay the bill.
Would we be OK letting Age Concern help 30 somethings or Cancer UK help people who did not gave cancer? You choose the charity you want to support and have every right to expect the money to bd used for that cause.

But its literally the only people I have heard do this. That's why I have said it. I've never heard a man do it and I've never heard younger people do it. I personally have only seen this done by a few older women. I have not once said men or younger people haven't done this im just saying specifically what I saw so I don't understand how that makes me ageist or sexist. If I said I see a young male do a backflip today im not saying only young people or males can do backflips Im saying I see a yong male do a back flip. Im just genuinely confused on why im being called sexist and ageist

I would have thought that when I was younger. Now that I'm older I'm as furious about ageism as I am about sexism. And when you're older, you should be too. There's really no need for either 'ism'.

.. because doing backflips are not a negative attribute. Being mean, moany and judgemental is. It's all been clearly explained to you by @5128gap in her post.
@youalright

Really i never get offended about being a woman and I never got offended as a teen or young adult about things people say about young people. I just don't get offended easily

It's just as well that some people do, because you wouldn't even have the vote or a bank account of your own, if women hadn't got angry in the past.

So not one of you said anything about me saying about older men being pervy or younger people filming homeless people thats completely fine for me to say but I can't say I've seen older women do this which is no where near as bad as what I said about men or younger people

Not all older men are pervy.
Not all younger people film the homeless.
I hope that helps.

I never said they did

This is crazy. Clearing garden is not a priority!! Food banks are for desperate families

Ok. 👍

Desperate PEOPLE I think you mean

😂😂

This. I hope you are not put off by some of the awful and judgemental posts here.
You sound like you have a lot on your plate, and getting your garden cleared could be life changing for your children.
I hope you get help to sort it from wherever you source it. Citizens advice , like another poster stated, is a great starting point to find out what free services and support are available in your area.

I do wish the OP would come back and explain where her husband stands in all of this.

I'm pretty sure most people have read the opening post and understandably assumed she's a single mother.

Does your council not offer rubbish removal our is 6 bags for £24 or larger items like fridge mattresses etc is 3 for £24! You book then put on outside your property on the day booked. We also pay for large garden waste bin. So I would book council for rubbish and do maybe an hour a day when children either in bed asleep or get up earlier. Little and often.
As I can’t afford a gardener myself I would be annoyed my donations are going to someone who is paying for gardening!
If you need equipment Olio have a lend scheme.

Ok so where do we stand on people needing to use the food bank because they have children and an addiction such as nicotine? Or because theyve bought a new sofa and so budgets need help?

I dont think you can donate with a criteria of help, nor judge people for having different priorities to you.

People can always self justify, but ultimately you cant cover every eventuality. Ive seen people smoking cigarettes wgilsy in a queue for a food bank and then complaining they didnt have certain things in. Ive also seen people in desperate need in the same queue.

For things like this, i dont think theres an easy answer

What next? Decorating the house? Taking a little mini break?

I thought donations went to those who needed them.

The easy answer is to leave it to the charity to decide.
Either trust them to do this thinking on your behalf (they know their business, they know their beneficiaries) or if you need more, do your due diligence about the charity before you donate. Check their website for their eligibility criteria, write to the manager or trustees and ask for their policies, who they help, how they help them, if there are any exclusions. You can then make an informed choice about whether that particular charity will use your donation in a way that aligns with your values. And if they don't, there's plenty more charities.
What it would be a shame to do is to stop donating at all on the basis if what ifs, anecdotes and urban legends.

Most of the food I suspect will come from supermarkets and some other food outlets. Not individual shopper donations.

https://www.familyfund.org.uk/grants/what-can-i-use-the-grant-for/outdoor-play/

I don't think the food bank idea is really the way to go, but as you have a child with additional needs, the link above is to family fund, you could see if you're eligible for a grant to create a safe outdoor play space for them, though I think it's more play equipment then work, so you'd still need to clear the brambles.

If your struggling with the children, maybe try homestart, they can help if you have a child under 5. They won't do your garden for you but if they were able to reduce the pressure elsewhere, that might give you the time to do it.

If you have a local area Facebook page, it might be worth asking if anyone would be willing to help with gardening. I've seen similar on our one and there's usually comments of people offering help.

The system is open to abuse. But to be honest I am glad. Back when they first started, we did need bank statements and ID and to go through the budget with them and all that other stuff. it usually meant they had to spend money to get to me at my office, or on data to download their bank statement and it was prohibitive for people who are already vulnerable.

So questions about financial abuse, safety, whether they have somewhere to cook food, gas and electric on the meter etc. are where the support is now and less about red tape on the off chance a few people abuse the system.

What difference does it make, if she is married, or single? Her Husband could be disabled and unable to do anything to help in the garden, or there could be any number of reasons he is not doing so. If she has a partner, and he could clear the garden, then would he not be doing it, instead of what the OP was thinking in her first post?

Well this is exactly why I'd like the OP to come back.

So she can answer the points you've made.

No point in all that guessing if OP can clarify, is there?

Or she could spend the food money on food instead of using a service for the genuinely poor