Food banks

[Tiredboymum22]

When is it acceptable to use a food bank?

Is it only when you have no money left for food or when you need to cover other household costs?

Does anything go to waste or is it all used up by families in need?

Our utility bills have gone up. We have a load of rubbish in the garden that needs collecting but I have no car. It’s also overrun with weeds and brambles and I thought I’d have time to do it but I have a toddler and child with additional needs, and no village!

I want to pay someone to collect the bins and sort the garden out so the kids can play in the summer, but I’m on a tight budget and I’m worried it’ll cut into our food budget.

Thank you everyone. Like I said, I don’t want to take from a worse off family which is why I asked if there’s food that would otherwise go out of date/get chucked out. If not, obviously I won’t use one. I know a lot of food goes to waste every year so I wanted someone to clarify whether food banks are via donation only or lots of leftovers from supermarkets that’d be chucked anyway. From what I understand, different places have different rules.

I did my garden months ago. Cleared out all the weeds and brambles, got some artificial grass, cut the hedge, etc. I also decluttered the house and put some black bags outside. Our bin collection is every three weeks and no more than three bags, I let it all get on top of me. I do have a husband but he’s currently injured.

i don’t want this to turn into pity party but I‘m struggling to find the energy to garden right now. My asd son is up throughout the night including 4.30 am every single morning. The school is the other side of town and it takes me 2 hours each day to walk back and forth to the school. Plus the 3 different dinners I make most nights. I know I should do it in the evenings

@Tiredboymum22 - it sounds as if you need help and support. That routine is punishing and you'll make yourself ill. Please talk to your GP and het a referral for help.

maybe put a post on Facebook and see if someone would collect the stuff in the garden for free. Usually some nice people out there who would come collect the stuff, or as the local authorities and explain the situation. The food bank is a hit or miss really mines you can just walk in and use it but I stay in a small village so they usually know who does and doesn’t need it xx

I do have a husband but he’s currently injured.

Would this prevent him looking after the kids while you clear the garden?

Or is he likely to have recovered in the near future?

At least it's still early Spring so hopefully you or he can get cracking soon.

It sounds like the garden is the last thing you have time for right now.

I understand that (area dependent) often the supermarket leftovers are donated to the homeless shelters. If things are out of date etc, I don’t think they can be donated at all.

Sadly there isn’t a massive stash of food even for those who really are on the bones of their arse/living on the street.

Have you googled to see if there's a community fridge near you? There's a network of them and they take and redistribute surplus food from the supermarkets.
I volunteer at one, and anyone can come and take up to a certain weight of produce at no cost.. it's set up purely to save surplus food ending up in a skip.

Ive helped with massive hoarder declutters (had a hoard of my own too)! Check what can go in the normal domestic rubbish bin. Scrap metal dealers will take the metal, leave near your front property perimeter or find one on Nextdoor app. People on trash nothing, Freecycle, FB etc will take wood for wood burners and camp fires. It's amazing what else people will take too! The local councils often do bulky items removal, approximately £60 for 5 items and garden waste collections too. Consider a compost bin for cuttings and prunings. Good luck,!

Counterpoint - I give to our local food bank so people can eat. I see no need to forensically examine their finances just so they can collect a few tins of own brand beans and some breakfast cereal.

Have you checked Olio for free food?

But OP can eat, she just wants to spend the money on clearing the garden instead

Why are your bins not being emptied??

She already said they are but they only take 3 bags a time. If you have more you have to go down the dump like we do.

Thats up to you.
Please don't make out that my comment has put you off donating to food banks though. If you want to know where your money or donations are going exactly, you shouldn't really donate to any charity that you don't run.

I was just giving my experience as someone about to use a food bank for the first time, and as someone that a month ago was a regular donator to the food bank aswell, and never thought I'd be in this situation!

I can tell you that my family at least, genuinely does need the help, and we really are so grateful we have a roof and food. To be honest after only a month it's getting hard to keep saying thank you so much for toilet rolls and towels. I still appreciate it but it's really really hard to stay positive.

I'm sure you can imagine it's absolutely mortifying asking for any help from strangers, but especially food!

I need to get over that though, as I said, we donated regularly to the food bank and loads of charities through our old community and schools, and I wouldn't say the same to anyone else using it.

Just to give you an idea, we have to choose between petrol and getting the kids to school or feeding them this week. We've obviously asked for help from the school and council, they can't help with fuel, a taxi might be possible for our eldest with an EHCP, but my other two wouldn't be allowed in it, so we'd have to drive anyway, and no-ones got back to us about even the taxi option. They said we might be entitled to a card that would pay for only my eldest to go swimming or the cinema or bowling (we could only afford this on birthdays before so it's really kind), but we're in the backend of beyond and can't afford the fuel to get there 🤣
I'm going to come on my period next week, I'm literally agonizing about the budgeting for sanitary pads, weighing up whether it's cheaper to get them at the nearby garage on foot, that only have thin, brand name ones, or spend the petrol driving to the nearest town to get the cheaper, thicker ones so I have more and don't have to worry about leaking on the temporary rooms bed.

If you want to donate do it, it really will help families, but you can't pick and choose who gets to use the food bank, or who gets the food you donated.

Sorry that was so long, but I felt really ashamed of myself and like I needed to apologise or something after reading your comment to me the other day and its been playing on my mind. I really wasn't being flippant when I said do it to OP, I mean it.

It's not going to ruin OPs life, or take away from anyone else's if she gets her rubbish taken away and her garden sorted for her kids and has to have a food parcel for a week.

Goodness it’s been a while since we had a food bank thread where the usual suspects could pile on and do everything possible to dissuade people from donating. I actually don’t know how these ppl live with themselves, it’s genuinely disgusting that people give so little thought to the consequences of their throw away words. Every time it’s the same.

OP getting rid of rubbish is urgent, I agree. It attracts rats and other pests. Is there a community Facebook page or other group where you could ask for help? I’ve been to a few ‘working bees’ when elderly people locally have got overwhelmed by their garden and people from the community show up and put in an hour or so to help. You can explain you’re dealing with a child with additional needs and an injured husband and need a bit of help as a one-off. There are
people who will help strangers in the world.

That poster's being an arse with their reply to you - not sure how anything you've posted can be taken as "well that puts me off donating!" 🙄
I'm glad the help is there for you and others when you need it (it could be any one of us one day)
All your post made me do when it came to donations is to put more "interesting" stuff in next time to "mix it up a bit" like chocolate biscuits and curry sauce (not used together, that'd be weird) 😁

Oh and as far sanitary protection, that's something I've never really thought about - what happens if you're like me and need the really heavy ones?!
They're not as easy to find and can be expensive if you need a lot of them. Will think about putting something like that in next time.

On the contrary, @Clonakilla , this thread inspired me to set up a direct debit to our local food bank.

This would be a really great idea, I know the food bank I volunteer at is always severely lacking in sanitary products in general, it’s something I imagine most people just don’t really think about when making donations but obviously is something that is very needed.

We are quite lucky in that we get a monthly donation from TOTM of tampons but they are almost always gone within probably 4 days of being dropped off and outside of that we might get maybe 10-12 packs of pads donated in a month and about the same number of tampon boxes so it really doesn’t stretch very far.

Not ideal but Tesco do some really cheap but decent period pads for about 45p.

@Coffeeandbooks88 ooh thank you, I think there's a tesco about a fifteen/ twenty minute drive away. I use the Morrison's own night time pads at the minute, and I think they're only just over a pound a pack. They're almost as good as the black kotex ones for anyone else needing thick pads. I might get DH to look at maternity pads aswell, they might be cheaper still, like cotton pads and cotton buds are cheaper in the baby aisle.
I looked in the garage here, the only thing suitable would have been Tena lady pads, and they were £5.95 for 12, and definitely would have been visible under my clothes. Would be great for nighttime though!

@IAmBeaIDrinkTea @OttersOnAPlane

There's a few things now I'm going to donate when we're back on our feet that I didn't think of before. I always tried to do either a basics type shop with loads of own brand tins and noodles ect, or do sweets and naice biscuits or choc for the same amount of money, I never thought of practical stuff that we all need still.

I can make a list of stuff if anyone's interested. It's the annoying stuff we have to buy that digs into food money!

Are bone idle women ok with you then?