How to handle my son's troubling far-right views and online influence

[TheCatCushions]

DS (14) is extremely bright, highly intelligent and adhd/autistic. He has recently been coming out with troubling views about wanting the UK to be all white again like in the 1950s, he talks about immigration and closing our borders and stopping the boats etc and doodles pictures of Hitler with worrying slogans. He has admitted to saying certain things deliberately to shock but he genuinely believes that the UK should be all white and compares us to say, Zimbabwe remaining all black.

He has not been brought up to think like this and I am concerned that he is going down a rabbit hole online. I teach him the benefits of other cultures and how the UK has evolved, what it means to be British has changed over time and that we are now multicultural. Although he is highly intelligent, he is also very black and white in his thinking.

He also believes that we should go back to the 1940s where it comes to gender roles and women need to stay at home and men be the providers. He also talks about feminism meaning women that hate men. I try my best to gently correct these views and question why he believes this.

Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this? Thank you.

absolutely spot on !

And what “facts “ would you be using to correct him? Unfortunately that tactic will only drive him further into the arms of the far right. It’s likely he could argue very well against your “corrections”

It’s perfectly ok to tell someone compassionately that they’re wrong, why they’re wrong and why their views are unacceptable. And the impact of these kind of views on other people.

This does not have to shut communication down, but shift the discussion.

Or you could drop into conversation people like

the president of the International Olympic Committee Kirsty Coventry
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kirsty_Coventry

Zimbabwean cricketer Brendan Taylor
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brendan_Taylor

or the Mayor of Bulawayo, David Coltart
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Coltart

The reason those of us with connections with Zimbabwe are boggling at the claim that it's "all black" is that, apart from factually the country not being 100% of black African origin, white Zimbabweans still retain a lot of power and wealth and disproportionately occupy high-profile positions. So numerically they're a small minority but in impact they're a significant and visible part of the Zimbabwean population even in 2025.

This is very true, the pseudo liberalism so prevalent amongst the left is illogical bullshit that most ND people can see a mile off - the only option is to actually move a lot closer to the DSs perspective and slowly try and round off the edges

You expect that he'll be able to argue 'very well' that Hitler was great and women belong in the kitchen? People on the thread have provided a lot of educational resources, I think the OP can go ahead and tell her 14 year old that Hitler was bad and his viewpoint terrible. Do you really think condemning him will drive children to the far-right and we have to tiptoe around Naziism as a result?!

Rather than taking the view of some others that you should question his "high intelligence" and that he clearly lacks insight and empathy you should simply challenge his views with facts and rational argument?

That might make more sense?

Like a lot of youngsters, he has no idea of what life was actually like, for most, in those times.

But, they usually get some intelligence and grow out of these views.

It might not be all "black" but at their last census from 2022, people of African origin accounted for 99.6% of the population. Which by any reckoning is an overwhelming majority.

Caucasian only 0.16%

https://www.zimstat.co.zw/wp-content/uploads/Demography/Census/2022_PHC_Report_27012023_Final.pdf

I’d personally take the hard route and remind him that Hitler and the Nazi regime systematically targeted individuals with disabilities, including those like your son with autism, as part of their "racial hygiene" policies. Perhaps it will break his admiration of Hitler once he learns he too would be deemed (AND I QUOTE) "life unworthy of life" and as a "burden" to the state.

The 'round earthers' had evidence to back up their position

Not to their detractors they hadn't. Their detractors quoted the Bible etc. Their detractors were the majority who considered them blasphemous.

This is my point. You are arguing from the position of a side you believe in at every opportunity. In this case you take the minority view which is right with hindsight. On other topics you're taking the majority view.

edgelords do not have scientific backing for their racist theories

Societal outcomes never have scientific validity. Do you understand what the scientific method is or just use the words to bolster your argument?

Failing to listen to anyone who thinks differently to you is a failure of intelligence, but so is giving space and credence to people spouting bigotry. I can listen to people on the other end of the political spectrum to me and appreciate their intellect even if I fundamentally disagree with their viewpoint. That doesn't extend to extremists, racists and misogynists.

You're committing another logic error. You've classified 3 things as "wrong-think" and won't listen to any such views, rather than listen and disagree. By definition you're not listening to people who think differently to you - you label them as too stupid to have intellect.

You're entitled to your views and to dismiss anyone else's. Just don't dress it up as being they're unintelligent - you can say they're wrong. You can say you can't understand how they think that way - that's valid. But please recognise your own prejudices.

And whether or not you fear "vegans" is irrelevant. I just gave you an example to counter your view that if you fear what they might do collectively, you must hate them individually. Your assertion is disproved.

https://mjhnyc.org/blog/autism-and-disability-in-nazi-vienna/
Good point. He could start with this.

How utterly depressing.

What is your point?

It’s an African country. It’s not like the black people were imported. They were there already.

It is the white people who colonised the country. Of course they should then expect to be in the minority.

What is your point?

Black people should not be the majority in their land of origin?

White people should expect to be over represented in countries that are not of their origin?

What is your point?

He's being radicalised, either deliberately targeted/ groomed by far right groups or as a result of algorithms - the result is the same. This kind of thing isn't within the normal range of pushing boundaries or a teenager rebelling against their parents' beliefs. It is a serious safeguarding concern and needs acting on. Op's ds is even more susceptible due to additional needs, his autism in particular is likely to mean he's researching all of this quite obsessively and getting in quite deep. If he were my son (and i do have a 15yo ds), I'd be putting in a report to Prevent now.

https://actearly.uk/

Doodling pictures about Hitler? OP’s son seems to be in actual neo-nazi theory, which his comments about 1940ies gender roles (so presumably also access to abortion, contraception, the criminalisation of homosexuality etc.) would support.

I also believe in free speech and tolerance. But there are limits to what I can tolerate and or engage with on a good faith basis.

You should let his school safeguarding lead know and ask for him to be referred to Prevent.

Well, given his response to the recent war I don't think Pope Leo would in any way approve of the stuff your DS is embracing currently.

More importantly, what are you actually going to do about the free access this 14 year old seems to have to dark corners of the internet?

One of your grandfathers and your mother's first husband both went to prison and you're bemoaning immigration? Honestly, you couldn't make this up.

He's not a young adult. He's 14.

First of all OP I would like to applaud you as you are facing up to the disturbing racist and sexist views that your son is expressing. Many people would try to bury their heads in the sand and ignore them. You aren't - you want to address them.

Please dont listen to people who try to defend these views. As you say they are troubling. You states he
*wants the UK to be all white
*thinks women need to stay at home
*doodles pictures of Hitler with worrying slogans

You know this is unacceptable. You don't need any 'facts' to understand that. It comes from valuing every person regardless of their ethnicity or sex and accepting that mass genocide and nazi ideology is wrong.

Stop 'gently challenging' or debating history and start explaining why his views are offensive to you every time he expresses them.

If he says he wants the UK to be white explain that people's citizenship is not dependent on ethnicity and that people of all ethnicities make valuable contributions to society. Talk about how wrong it would be to force people of different ethnicities to leave the UK. If this was my child I would talk about all the people of colour in our circle we value (friends, teachers, sports coaches etc.)

If he says women should stay at home explain that women are adults who can make their own choices and it is not up to him to make those choices for them. Women should be free to work outside the home if they choose to. Talk about all the women you know and the contributions they make at home and in the wider community.

If he doodles pictures or expresses views that are supportive of Hitler or Nazis. Explain about the holocaust and how jews and other groups were murdered. Show him pictures of the atrocities and explain how people were killed.

Challenge him every time. Do not let him shrug off responsibility by saying he is 'joking' or 'being controversal' etc. He needs to understand that what he says, writes and draws has meaning and impacts others.

You can't control everything, but you can communicate your values directly and relentlessly.

I would restrict access to social media.

The vegan analogy is basically nonsense so I don't think it has disproved anything. A 14 year old who has got sucked into a Hitler rabbit hole and thinks women shouldn't be allowed to work might have intelligence in some ways - maybe he's great at Maths or something - but he has fallen into something very stupid which he's unable to question and criticise. That's a failing of intelligence. And if you don't think that flat vs round earthers is parallel to this situation then why did you bring it up in the first place? I'm referring to your comment on societal outcomes never having scientific backing, which seems unclear. Obviously, Nazis were searching for scientific proof of racial superiority (which does not exist). They did claim the societal outcomes they enforced had scientific backing, however, and likewise you have racists now who would like to claim there is a science to racial hierarchy, just as you have misogynists very tiresomely quoting flimsy 'evolutionary psychology' to claim that women are biologically unequipped to have equal rights to men. There is plenty of psuedo-science out there which people use to back up their preferred societal outcomes. It's based on bad understanding and wilful ignorance. Supporting Hitler and the removal of women's rights are not intelligent and valid positions to take that we can just attribute to a difference of opinion. Hate speech is illegal - that means that by law it is not considered worthy of listening to. There are some extreme positions which it is never acceptable to endorse or engage with.

So sort of meet in the middle? Like, Hitler was only sort of bad?

I know a lot of ND people, the vast majority of whom, if not all, are quite left.

Jesus!! Glad he was too incompetent to make an effective device.

Thanks for this. There are a high number of people who don’t realise this.