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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Think That DD School Are Covering Up Teacher’s Unprofessional Behavior

304 replies

MrsJLL · 11/04/2026 14:27

DD is age 10. She bright and sporty. Very sociable, happy at school and doing really well.

I was recently at the school gates waiting to collect her. The mums tend to stand around chatting in little groups.

I was stood close by to many other mums but was just checking something on my phone so was alone but only about 1 to 2 meters away from everyone else.

A teacher approached me and unbelievably announced within earshot of the many of other mums that she has diagnosed my daughter with ADHD because apparently she acts like the “other ADHD” kids that this teacher knows

I was really shocked and upset as we have never had any SEND contact and this teacher is just a class teacher. Other mums definitely heard what the teacher said and also saw me being upset. The teacher then walked off after I got upset and refused to elaborate.

I subsequently made a complaint to the Headmistress about the teachers conduct and the fact she had discussed sensitive medical information in a public place, thereby breaching data protection /GDPR.

The response came back from the head that the teacher was not acting on behalf of the school when she said those things to but was speaking in her own capacity and on her own behalf.

Therefore, whilst it was regrettable, she hasn’t done anything wrong and neither has she breached any data protection laws because the information she gave me about her opinion of my daughter’s mental health was not the “official view of the school” so it doesn’t matter that it was overheard by various people.

The Head then reiterated how confident they are in this teacher’s professionalism.

That is apparently the end of the matter as far as the Head is concerned.

it has really upset me and I feel like the school are covering up for this teacher.

AIBU?

what should I do next?

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 12/04/2026 13:33

MrsJLL · 11/04/2026 14:46

yes that’s what she said

it was very performative and loud enough for nearby pekoe to hear .

I know from my DD that her and the teacher don’t get on (she only has her for one lesson: music) and I suspect that something had occurred that day to annoy her.

after she told me, when she saw me getting upset she smiled and walked off smiling. I did put that in my complaint but is was also dismissed. “There is no evidence that Mrs X was smiling when she saw you become upset”

So is this person an actual teacher at the school or a music teacher that comes into the school?

godmum56 · 12/04/2026 13:37

hahabahbag · 12/04/2026 12:58

You mention it’s only for music, is the teacher actually a school employee or is it a music lesson you are paying for? If the latter your contract is with them not the school (at least that was the case with my DD’s) though they were never so unprofessional

If a lesson happens on school premises and is organised by the school, then surely it doesn't matter who pays?

Sartre · 12/04/2026 13:37

The teacher was hugely unprofessional. If a teacher suspects a child may have undiagnosed SEN, first step would be to raise it privately with the SENCO lead who then would follow up with parents and they’d decide whether further investigations were required. I have no idea why she felt this was appropriate, nor why the headteacher has chosen to defend her.

MrsMumbleton · 12/04/2026 13:47

I admit I haven't read all of the responses but I wanted to say I do not think you are being unreasonable at all. This teacher behaved unprofessionally. I find the school's response a bit baffling to be honest. They are basically throwing the teacher under the bus.

They're saying:

  1. she wasn't acting on behalf of the school... So then why was she discussing one of the students at the school?
  2. She was expressing her professional opinion in a public setting... Yet the school are confident in her professionalism?
  3. She hasn't done anything wrong... Yet the acknowledge that she was speaking to you within earshot of other parents.

I say this as an ex-teacher who understands how stressful and challenging teaching can be. Her actions were NOT ok and they absolutely need to be addressed. I would recommend writing formal a letter of complaint to the head and governors. In the letter, I would outline exactly what was said, where it was said, how many people could have heard, how it made you feel, etc. This type of conversation should have been had in a private setting. She should not be expressing her opinion on a medical condition that she is not qualified to diagnose. Yes, she should raise concerns with you should they be relevant, but this should be done in a discreet, professional manner and should come from a place of support.

This teacher behaved unprofessionally. As a parent, you need assurance that this won't happen to you or any other parent.

To be honest, I'm also concerned for the teacher because their response saying that she wasn't acting on behalf of the school is a way of them distancing themselves. It genuinely sounds to me that they know she that what she did was out of line and they're trying to cover their own backs by saying she wasn't acting on behalf of the school.

horrifiedandunsure · 12/04/2026 13:47

qualified teachers are registered with a board - I can’t remember what it’s called but they all have a number and have to be on it to teach. You could complain to them?

horrifiedandunsure · 12/04/2026 13:48

There is also the lado

LiteraryBambi · 12/04/2026 13:50

Definitely complain to the governors. If it is an academy, copy to the ceo of the trust.

There is no such thing as a teacher acting in a personal capacity when it comes to discussing a pupil.

Also agree you should consider escalating to the ICO if not luck.

starfishmummy · 12/04/2026 13:52

I call bullshit on the heads comments. Totally unfounded for her to disclose information where others could hear it! This information was only available to her as part of her professional capacity and therefore should be kept confidential.

I have no idea if the governors would back the head and teacher up but I think they would be your next step as you'll need to follow the complaints procedure.

DeftWasp · 12/04/2026 13:53

MrsJLL · 11/04/2026 14:35

Thank you

as a teacher do you think it’s possible to speak to a parent on school grounds about their child but be speaking in a “personal capacity” and not a professional capacity?

this is what the school are saying this teacher has done and I can’t get my mind around it

it sounds like BS to me but welcome your thoughts.

No, its not possible she was talking on her own behalf if on school grounds and within her working hours - especially as the subject matter is your child, and therefore her work.

There is no GDPR because what was conveyed is not data, its an opinion of the teacher based on nothing more than personal experience rather than professional qualification - it could be considered slander.

In my opinion as a former teacher it was a very inappropriate way to address the issue.

LongDarkTeatime · 12/04/2026 13:54

Sorry if I’ve missed this being mentioned previously but …

If school are claiming she was speaking in personal capacity this would imply the teacher knows both your daughter personally, outside of school. If this personal relationship does not exist then she was speaking to her experience in the school environment in her position as a teacher. Her behaviour was unacceptable.
The school/ head/ governors need to provide you with their procedure/ process/ SOP / governance on how to appropriately raise SEND needs. This will let you either highlight how the teacher has not followed process or the lack of governance within the school.

It is inappropriate for any teacher to ‘diagnose’. Assessments are conducted by multi disciplinary teams for good reasons, behaviours which may look like neurodiversity can occur for many reasons and a diagnosis should only nave made with input from multiple sources, which includes school, but should never depend on school alone.

mandarinduck110 · 12/04/2026 13:55

Chair of Governors large primary school

Is it a MAT or a county school? if it's a MAT you can go above the Head and to the Chief Exec of the MAT.

my knowledge of mats is poor. i'm a chair in a school still attached to the county but we're getting quite rare.

horrifiedandunsure · 12/04/2026 13:55

starfishmummy · 12/04/2026 13:52

I call bullshit on the heads comments. Totally unfounded for her to disclose information where others could hear it! This information was only available to her as part of her professional capacity and therefore should be kept confidential.

I have no idea if the governors would back the head and teacher up but I think they would be your next step as you'll need to follow the complaints procedure.

Im thinking it’s wort going over governors heads, getting some form of instruction in writing that this is a school matter and then using this to approach the governors so they can’t wiggle out of it again

Northernladdette · 12/04/2026 13:56

Justmyopinionbut · 12/04/2026 13:25

I'm so sorry you experienced this, and the subsequent response from the Head. I would definitely complain to the Governors but also put in a complaint to the ICO. The email from the Head is an acknowledgement that the conversation took place in public, in a school setting. The ICO can confirm or deny whether this was appropriate or not in an official sense for you. From a not dissimilar experience we had ourselves, the Governors tend to protect the Head.....just not enough resources in education to actually hold some of these people to account until they seriously break the law. I really would prepare yourself to have a Plan B as in my experience, we lost all trust that our child was safe and respected at school.

Would the school playground be considered an acceptable school setting?
It would be far more appropriate to invite the parent(s) in for a meeting to discuss the way forward to include a proper assessment, though I expect it was easier for the teacher to simply drop her bombshell, then walk away.
I’d be livid 😣

DeftWasp · 12/04/2026 13:58

starfishmummy · 12/04/2026 13:52

I call bullshit on the heads comments. Totally unfounded for her to disclose information where others could hear it! This information was only available to her as part of her professional capacity and therefore should be kept confidential.

I have no idea if the governors would back the head and teacher up but I think they would be your next step as you'll need to follow the complaints procedure.

Its not really information, it was this teachers personal opinion, based on her experience with ADHD children -

It wasn't information or data in that it wasn't a position taken by the school - to that extent it is "personal" but the teacher was on the schools clock, so she is at work and therefore it is the schools business.

But I'm of the opinion you have to always consider if its worth falling out with folks over these things - its often better to react quickly and proactively at the time, Ie shut the conversation down "er excuse me, can we discuss this in private" etc.

DeftWasp · 12/04/2026 14:02

horrifiedandunsure · 12/04/2026 13:47

qualified teachers are registered with a board - I can’t remember what it’s called but they all have a number and have to be on it to teach. You could complain to them?

Edited

All teachers, qualified and unqualified are registered with the department for education, and have a teacher registration number.

All teachers, qualified and unqualified are regulated by the Teachers Regulation Agency, but they don't deal with the public, only with schools and the police.

You have to go via the school, this would not be a TRA issue in any case.

Mumofoneandone · 12/04/2026 14:05

Cop out on the school's part.
Look into the school's policies on expected behaviour from teachers and complaints.
Whilst the comment made by the teacher was her opinion only (and probably vindictive - whole other issue) the teacher's behaviour is bringing the school interview distupte. By the school backing the teacher rather than speaking to her about appropriate behaviour with parents etc, they are basically saying her conduct is acceptable.
It is not - particularly if she has an issue with your daughter, this is humiliation tactics and is not acceptable. There are certain professional teacher standards that need to be upheld in order to stay in the profession. This teacher is falling short.
Keep escalating the complaint.
Consider if your child can be somewhere else during music sessions to ensure this teacher cannot continue her negativity towards your daughter.

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · 12/04/2026 14:06

This is wild, surely any "chat" with a parent at the end of the school day, to discuss a child in their class, has got to be classed as official communication. Otherwise when you get the "so and so didn't finish their maths today" or "Tommy got hit with a ball on the head today" little chats - are they just the teachers personal opinion!? I think with a teacher, if they're saying what's been observed in their classroom, it has to be an official school capacity thing - otherwise they'd not have observed the behaviour would they.

I wouldn't personally raise a complaintpin your shoes, as I'm not sure what can be done to rectify this, unless you just want an apology? It's not like the other parents can be emailed with "it's not an official view that DD has adhd, it's just my personal opinion, even though it was said on school property immediately after teaching dd". I don't think what has said can be undone. Unless you want the teacher reprimanded in some way, in which case you can raise a formal complaint to the governors but even if they agree with you i doubt the teacher will be given any kind of reprimand or consequence. In advance of any complaint, do ask yourself- what do I want out of this?
I'd just reply to the Head asking;

  1. Does the teacher actually have professional concerns, as if this was just a personal opinion, where does that leave you with following it up?
  2. Can you have a meeting with the teacher to discuss a) why you're upset and b) what has actually given rise to her view- you can ask senco or head to be involved too.

I had similar (not the same) but a random email with no extra info, out of the blue, saying "your child will be observed by the senco today" (literally just that). I spoke to the head and she did a little mediation session with the teacher and me to just manage an apology for the abruptness of the email, and to discuss the actual relevant points as to why the senco had been invited to observe and in what context in person rather than via email (which is what should have happened before asking the senco in tbh!) It was useful and she acted as an independent professional perspective and I felt really listened to.

MyDeftDuck · 12/04/2026 14:08

Bollocks! They're covering up here and in doing so are complicit in that teachers disgraceful behaviour!

Either complain to the Board of Governor's or take this to the LEA !

MyOtherProfile · 12/04/2026 14:10

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 12/04/2026 12:48

You are being unreasonable when you write 'this teacher is just a class teacher'

so this teacher is a fully qualified ( with a degree ) Primary school teacher who has taught different children, some of whom will have ADHD ?

As a qualified and registered teacher I would say using the phrase 'just a class teacher is correct in this situation. A class teacher doesn't have any of the tools or rights to diagnose a child with ADHD. They could (in an appropriate setting, if they were the appropriate person) ask if the parent had ever considered ADHD as a possibility but that's the limit. It definitely isn't the job of someone who teaches a child one hour a week.

If that teacher had a concern they should have taken it to the class teacher and/or sendco for them to look into.

DeftWasp · 12/04/2026 14:15

MrsJLL · 12/04/2026 13:23

What I mean is: she has no professional ability to diagnose ADHD

she is simply a teacher and last time I checked teachers weren’t capable of unilaterally diagnosing children with disorders

Correct - she can't diagnose, that's an Ed Psych's job, what she should have done is talked to you privately about the possibility of getting your child assessed - and it would have been appropriate for her to have involved the SENCO in these early discussions.

Its not something for school gate chit chat.

Casperroonie · 12/04/2026 14:16

MrsJLL · 12/04/2026 13:23

What I mean is: she has no professional ability to diagnose ADHD

she is simply a teacher and last time I checked teachers weren’t capable of unilaterally diagnosing children with disorders

You're correct in thinking teachers cannot diagnose adhd. It is a long process that needs to have reams and reams of endless,evidencing paperwork for it even to be considered nowadays.

I agree the teacher was wrong to do what she did.

However, I think your response is hugely over the top in reporting them to all the powers that be. Whilst it was very upsetting, I would start with arranging an appointment with the Head to discuss, then go from there, if the school's esponse remains unsatisfactory.

SoTiredNeedHoliday · 12/04/2026 14:16

MrsMumbleton · 12/04/2026 13:47

I admit I haven't read all of the responses but I wanted to say I do not think you are being unreasonable at all. This teacher behaved unprofessionally. I find the school's response a bit baffling to be honest. They are basically throwing the teacher under the bus.

They're saying:

  1. she wasn't acting on behalf of the school... So then why was she discussing one of the students at the school?
  2. She was expressing her professional opinion in a public setting... Yet the school are confident in her professionalism?
  3. She hasn't done anything wrong... Yet the acknowledge that she was speaking to you within earshot of other parents.

I say this as an ex-teacher who understands how stressful and challenging teaching can be. Her actions were NOT ok and they absolutely need to be addressed. I would recommend writing formal a letter of complaint to the head and governors. In the letter, I would outline exactly what was said, where it was said, how many people could have heard, how it made you feel, etc. This type of conversation should have been had in a private setting. She should not be expressing her opinion on a medical condition that she is not qualified to diagnose. Yes, she should raise concerns with you should they be relevant, but this should be done in a discreet, professional manner and should come from a place of support.

This teacher behaved unprofessionally. As a parent, you need assurance that this won't happen to you or any other parent.

To be honest, I'm also concerned for the teacher because their response saying that she wasn't acting on behalf of the school is a way of them distancing themselves. It genuinely sounds to me that they know she that what she did was out of line and they're trying to cover their own backs by saying she wasn't acting on behalf of the school.

This OP. This!
Good luck tomorrow with submitting your formal complaint to the Governors and the head teacher. I would also add on that the response from the head was not appropriate, which is why you are now making a formal complaint that is more widely circulated and addressed.

horrifiedandunsure · 12/04/2026 14:17

DeftWasp · 12/04/2026 14:02

All teachers, qualified and unqualified are registered with the department for education, and have a teacher registration number.

All teachers, qualified and unqualified are regulated by the Teachers Regulation Agency, but they don't deal with the public, only with schools and the police.

You have to go via the school, this would not be a TRA issue in any case.

Yes but if she gets a letter from the tra telling her this she can argue the school needs to deal with it surely?

Casperroonie · 12/04/2026 14:20

MrsJLL · 11/04/2026 15:56

I raised safeguarding concern and that has been dismissed

How is that a safeguarding issue? I'm not sure you know what that means.

I agree with other issue regarding conduct though.

RudolphTheReindeer · 12/04/2026 14:22

Casperroonie · 12/04/2026 14:16

You're correct in thinking teachers cannot diagnose adhd. It is a long process that needs to have reams and reams of endless,evidencing paperwork for it even to be considered nowadays.

I agree the teacher was wrong to do what she did.

However, I think your response is hugely over the top in reporting them to all the powers that be. Whilst it was very upsetting, I would start with arranging an appointment with the Head to discuss, then go from there, if the school's esponse remains unsatisfactory.

OP wouldn't be reporting them to everyone if the headteacher had dealt with the complaint appropriately.

I also think you should complain to the governors. Teachers should not be diagnosing anyone, she has breached gdpr and this 'she was speaking in personal capacity' is utter nonsense and wouldn't wash with anyone remotely knowledgeable. You could also complain to the Information Commissioners Office re the GDPR breach if you think the school haven't dealt with it appropriately. Potential SEND would be viewed as sensitive data so schools should be much more careful about breaches. They have an online chat facility during working hours if you want to speak to them first.