To Think That DD School Are Covering Up Teacher’s Unprofessional Behavior

[MrsJLL]

DD is age 10. She bright and sporty. Very sociable, happy at school and doing really well.

I was recently at the school gates waiting to collect her. The mums tend to stand around chatting in little groups.

I was stood close by to many other mums but was just checking something on my phone so was alone but only about 1 to 2 meters away from everyone else.

A teacher approached me and unbelievably announced within earshot of the many of other mums that she has diagnosed my daughter with ADHD because apparently she acts like the “other ADHD” kids that this teacher knows

I was really shocked and upset as we have never had any SEND contact and this teacher is just a class teacher. Other mums definitely heard what the teacher said and also saw me being upset. The teacher then walked off after I got upset and refused to elaborate.

I subsequently made a complaint to the Headmistress about the teachers conduct and the fact she had discussed sensitive medical information in a public place, thereby breaching data protection /GDPR.

The response came back from the head that the teacher was not acting on behalf of the school when she said those things to but was speaking in her own capacity and on her own behalf.

Therefore, whilst it was regrettable, she hasn’t done anything wrong and neither has she breached any data protection laws because the information she gave me about her opinion of my daughter’s mental health was not the “official view of the school” so it doesn’t matter that it was overheard by various people.

The Head then reiterated how confident they are in this teacher’s professionalism.

That is apparently the end of the matter as far as the Head is concerned.

it has really upset me and I feel like the school are covering up for this teacher.

AIBU?

what should I do next?

Teachers cannot diagnose ADHD, although they can strongly suspect it ! The teacher was totally unprofessional by saying that and, if that had been the school that I taught at, the teacher would’ve been strongly reprimanded. I suggest taking this to the board of governors at the school.

They're hoping that you'll just go away.

That Headteacher is worse than the teacher!
Absolute word salad.
The teacher represents the school as soon as they walk in the building, and as a retired teacher here, you feel you are pretty much on duty 24/7.
Teachers aren’t self employed providers of education who happen to be in a school.
They are employed to be a professional teacher which normally involves very stringent professional aims and objectives.
It is absolutely out of order to approach you like that.
We had had very little in terms of SEND protocols when I first started but even then you never approached a parent in a situation like that to discuss anything at all about their child, other than perhaps to say something positive and usually general.

if this was health, not education, then the personal capacity defence is not even then a goer, as the knowledge that she had based her comments on was acquired via her professional position.

She was on school grounds, still working, shared her opinion using your child's private information. She behaved in a very unprofessional manner and broke with the code of conduct, which contract and substitute teachers as well as all school system employees are required to follow.

Even out in public, a school employee is required to follow this code. These things are standard in the US (retired educator) and I believe the UK has very strict rules about them as well. I think the head is wrong and that the teacher was still representing the school, personal opinion or not.

The teacher AND the head need retraining on this subject and you have every right to expect professional conduct from them. You obviously have your child's back, and I hope you'll continue to follow this up.

Is she a peripatetic music teacher or a member of staff in the school?

At the crux is a teacher who has made a family's life unnecessarily awful. Delivering news that your dc may have a disability and in earshot of her friends and their parents. The gossip will be rife and even if OP's dd does not have adhd, kids and parents will always gossip and speculate.

What a shock this must have been OP and it was absolute inappropriate to be bellowing this so that others heard it too. Unfortunately this is a huge breach of trust and professional standards form the teacher and also the school. Do you have the option to take her to a different school?

There are some crap human beings around. I'm angry for you.

I’m a teacher and think this is nonsense. The teacher works for the school, the comment she made was about a pupil directly to a parent on school premises. Of course it’s massively unprofessional and insensitive.

@MrsJLL I’m really sorry this has happened. It’s a very upsetting situation, and the school’s response does seem weak.

GDPR:
If the school has not recorded anywhere (either internally or in communication with you) that they believe your child may have ADHD, then GDPR may not be the strongest angle to pursue.

Professional conduct standards:
In my view, these have clearly been breached. Teachers are expected not only to educate and support pupils, but also to maintain confidentiality and communicate appropriately with parents. Publicly making a statement like this, within earshot of others, appears to fall short of those expectations.

Safeguarding:
I understand the school may have dismissed this aspect, but I would not let that go. There is a potential risk of harm arising from what happened. Other parents may now believe your daughter has ADHD and could share that with their children. In the worst case, this could lead to negative assumptions, social exclusion, or your daughter being unfairly blamed for behaviour issues.

In addition, the way this was handled, raising something so significant in a public setting, then leaving without any proper discussion or support, is deeply concerning and understandably distressing.

I think you should strongly complain to the Governors, or even Ofsted if you get nowhere with the governors.

You could also talk to the ICO complaints and use a two-pronged approach.

There should be some consequence of the teacher's actions.

We’d be in huge trouble if we were found to have this kind of conversation outside school. I was just thinking some schools may be a bit lax if it was off school site.
Our council have an expectations policy (I can’t remember the right word- peri meno brain!) and even our public social media posts and public behaviour is expected to be respectful as an ambassador of the council. Ie I shouldn’t be getting drunk on a Saturday night swinging my knickers above my head and brawling in the bar in the town I work in!! So there are definitely professional conversation standards for us.

Speak to the governors and base your complaint on unprofessional behaviour.

I was chair of governors for many years. We would have taken this seriously.

Why would she be sacked? The tecaher needs training and OP needs an unreserved apology from the school, one where they show her that they have her child's best interest in mind.

Most people agree that the teacher’s conduct was unprofessional. I do too (am a teacher). But I’d ask, OP, what you actually want to achieve? What is the purpose of your complaint - your ideal outcome? If it’s a sanction for the teacher, that seems like simple vengeance. If it’s genuine reflection from the teacher and school, and assurance that her/their approach will change, then a meeting with the teacher and the head would be much more productive. It may also give space for any concerns about your dd to be aired in a less clumsy way.

I would also examine why you were so upset by the comments. Has the teacher (in an inappropriate way) hit on a nerve re your dd? Your tears suggest she might. Why did you feel you had to counteract the teacher’s concerns with the fact that your dd is sporty, bright etc? It seems that you are upset by the idea that your daughter could have ADHD, as though a child with ADHD would not be bright, doing well etc. Although she’s gone about it in the wrong way, could this teacher’s concerns actually be something useful for you to look at? I speak from experience and wish I’d cottoned on to my own DC’s neurodiversity much earlier. We’re now stuck on an endless waiting list and they’ve almost left school.

Ironically, most people emphasising how bad it is , do have jobs . Not just that, but they are teacher/former teachers/school staff. You know why? Because it actually is that bad , completely unprofessional and unacceptable.

It won’t kill the teacher to get a telling off (verbal/written warning) and get told that children are in fact entitled to their privacy and to follow policy if they have any actual concerns about a child. That’s just basic stuff.

That teacher handled sharing that information with you badly and in a way that meant others became privy to private medical concerns relating to a child in their care, and likely identifiable to the people who overheard a discussion about them. The headteachers response is a cop out. If you have any further concerns about how the GDPR element is being handled, you can contact the ICO directly for advice. There is a time and place for such discussions and being conducted in a way that removes disclosure consent and causes distress/distrust is probably not it.

Agree Many who have commented are working in schools.
I usually err on the side of caution and try and give another pov but this case is just appallingly bad professionalism and the head should have apologised and said she would speak to the teacher.

No this isn’t some opportunity for the OP to reflect on her innermost feelings.

There’s a time and a place for introspection and it certainly isn’t in the immediate aftermath of being put in an intrusive and inappropriate situation like this, where professional boundaries were disregarded and a sensitive comment was made publicly.

What the teacher did and the harm it is likely to cause are the real issue. It breached basic professional boundaries, risked reputational harm and gossip, and undermined trust between the school and parent.

Remarks like that can create stigma and damage a child’s reputation.

and this when OP no already have to deal with a potentially life changing situation.

Your thread has brought back a few memories for me. A similar (but not quite so bad) thing happened 20 years ago to me when my 4 year old had just started reception at the local school. At the end of the school day, the class teacher asked me to come into the classroom and suggested that I needed to take my son to the GP as she believed that his behaviour was not normal for a child of his age. She was hinting that he could be on the autistic spectrum.

My feeling was that if you are going to raise serious concerns about a child, teachers should set up a formal meeting in which parents have been forewarned that there are issues to address. Having such devastating information sprung on me without warning at school pick up was far too casual.

We did complain to the head and the Governors at the time. They duly investigated it and found that the teacher could have dealt with the situation far better. I think that my motivation to follow the complaints procedure was to try and make sure that the teacher would not go on to treat others in the same way.

Ironically, in our case, my DS's reception teacher was right in suspecting that my son was neurodiverse. He struggled with secondary school and university and has been diagnosed with ADD as an adult. However, I still stand by my belief that teachers need to be mindful of the way they deal with parents in such sensitive matters.

To get back to your situation OP, it is appalling the teacher blurted out that your DD may have ADHD in the earshot of other parents. I wish you all the best in your efforts to get the school to acknowledge that the teacher needs further training to prevent such a situation happening again.

How absolutely dreadful! I'm a teacher and we have a watertight policy on neurodiversity (parents have to be emailed first to recommend our SENDCO observes their child in class before anything else then its a meeting to discuss if SENDCO is concerned) but also what kind of teacher blurts that out with no concern at dismissal. Mind boggling that the head backed teacher up too...I would request a meeting with head and teacher....

@MrsJLL Since when did a teacher, let alone a music teacher who sees your daughter for 2 hours per week max becomes an expert on ADHD? She can say that you're daughter is disruptive in class but she can not diagnose. It's utterly ridiculous!

So there is two complaints that I would make @MrsJLL to the governors:

1. She is not in capacity of diagnosing your child.

1. She purposedely did this within earshot of other mums on the school ground. She's not supposed to bring up anything problematic at all within earshot of other parents.

She's a cow for taking "revenge" on your daughter by humiliating you.
Don't let her get away with it!

@MrsJLL This.
No teacher can diagnose ADHD and her behaviour was 100% unprofessional on several fronts.
I suggest you write to the Chair of Governors saying that the headteacher has declined to investigate yout complaint so you are now escalating to the governing body.
It will have to be addressed via that route.

@fiolasviola yeah that’s totally fair enough actually. Not the time for self reflection. But I would urge the OP to consider what outcome she wants from a complaint before proceeding down that stressful route, and whether a constructive conversation could be better.

Read the complaints procedure and follow what it says is the next step if you are unsatisfied with the head teachers response. This is usually escalated to the chair of governors You may need to reword your complaint to make it clear that it occurred on school premises and the exact words said. Be very factual rather than emotional impact.
From my perspective, the same sort of thing happened to me when my ds was year 3. His class teacher stood in front of me and stated that ds 'was definitely autistic because he chewed pencils' I ended up having to attend a 'restorative conversation' with the teacher and head teacher as the complaint was upheld.the teacher had crossed professional boundaries and not used the correct terminology (this was 15 + years ago so I'm talking about a time when a child should have been on school action + before that sort of conversation)
Think about what you want the outcome to be. Are you seeking an apology or something else?

Thank you for a very understanding response