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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Couples who live separately so they get additional financial support

598 replies

slimline · 11/04/2026 11:20

A couple I know got married over a year ago, yet they still live separately. She has two children from a previous relationship and lives in a 3 bed house. He lives in a 2 bed house and has no children. I mention the size of their homes because it’s clear that there is ample space for the entire family to live under one roof. I can’t think of any other reason for their separate living arrangements (considering they have made a commitment to each other through marriage) aside from financial security, as her eldest child has SEN and she doesn’t work. He is working, which I assume could complicate things if he were to move in. Yes, I understand it’s legal, but I can’t help but think they’re taking advantage of the system in some way. This isn't the first time I've heard of couples or families living apart in order to increase their income. I’m ready to be accused of benefit bashing or called all the names under the sun. Don’t care sorry!

OP posts:
slimline · 11/04/2026 12:17

Nervousmummy2 · 11/04/2026 12:15

In reality it’s nothing to do with you none of your business and nothing for you to use the space in your brain worrying about.

Since it’s none of my business, can I opt out of paying tax every month? Yeah, thought so.

OP posts:
TheAutumnCrow · 11/04/2026 12:18

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:09

I never said they were benefit claimants. Stop making things up lol

Oh here we go. The pathetic volte-face ‘gotcha’.

It’s as if Wittgenstein moves among us.

Nervousmummy2 · 11/04/2026 12:18

I can also assure you you aren’t directly paying your tax into her bank account so bore off.. you’re clearly not their friend so I’d be leaving that friendship all alone I wish they knew who you really were.

TheAutumnCrow · 11/04/2026 12:19

Nervousmummy2 · 11/04/2026 12:18

I can also assure you you aren’t directly paying your tax into her bank account so bore off.. you’re clearly not their friend so I’d be leaving that friendship all alone I wish they knew who you really were.

It’s probably all made up shite anyway.

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:19

Tacohill · 11/04/2026 12:17

The jealousy is just oozing out of you.

Let me guess, this man turned you down?

hell no. He’s fat, bald and about 5’6. No thanks would rather be single

OP posts:
treeteips · 11/04/2026 12:19

Nervousmummy2 · 11/04/2026 12:18

I can also assure you you aren’t directly paying your tax into her bank account so bore off.. you’re clearly not their friend so I’d be leaving that friendship all alone I wish they knew who you really were.

Do you realise we are paying more in benefits than receiving in income tax?

Nervousmummy2 · 11/04/2026 12:20

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:17

Since it’s none of my business, can I opt out of paying tax every month? Yeah, thought so.

Edited

Yoh did say she was a benefit claimant you bullshitter 😂😂😂 you also aren’t paying your tax direct into anyone’s account so go take a touch walk on some grass or do some breathing exercises and change the colour inside you that green shade don’t suit nobody

Mumofsend · 11/04/2026 12:20

To be perfectly honest, I'm parent of a SEN child. I wouldn't move a partner or husband in until they are grown because of their needs. Nothing to do with finances and everything to do with supporting the child with high needs.

Anonomoso · 11/04/2026 12:20

slimline · 11/04/2026 11:43

Why get married then? Many people here are quick to spout that as a family, you combine all your financial resources. Now you’re saying they shouldn’t, just get the government to bankroll her instead. Which one is it?

It's not the government that bank roll her, they probably don't give a shite who fiddles benifits as it's the tax payers that have to stump up and as the benifits bill continues to rise they'll just squeeze more money out of them to pick up the tab.

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:21

Nervousmummy2 · 11/04/2026 12:18

I can also assure you you aren’t directly paying your tax into her bank account so bore off.. you’re clearly not their friend so I’d be leaving that friendship all alone I wish they knew who you really were.

Why don’t you bore off. Don’t you have kids to be looking after?

OP posts:
Alwayswonderedwhy · 11/04/2026 12:23

I have one friend who does this. Partner has several properties, a decent amount of savings. Kids get free school meals, UC, holidays abroad etc.
I'm thankful for my kids are being brought up to know right from wrong and leave other people to do as they wish otherwise the frustration just eats away at you.

Jamesblonde2 · 11/04/2026 12:24

It is her business. It’s the business of all of us who pay tax.

Nervousmummy2 · 11/04/2026 12:24

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:21

Why don’t you bore off. Don’t you have kids to be looking after?

Nope I have taken one to dancing.. now with their dad doing an activity and going back to his house for dinner etc… I’m off to spend that tax money of all of yours on my unborn though through universal credit on my weekend off from work of course you idiots 😂😂😂😂😂 have a day off

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:24

Nervousmummy2 · 11/04/2026 12:20

Yoh did say she was a benefit claimant you bullshitter 😂😂😂 you also aren’t paying your tax direct into anyone’s account so go take a touch walk on some grass or do some breathing exercises and change the colour inside you that green shade don’t suit nobody

Err, yes, I know I said that. I was answering another posters question. Maybe read the entire thread first before commenting, might help x

OP posts:
youalright · 11/04/2026 12:25

nearlylovemyusername · 11/04/2026 11:58

well, it is OP's business (and mine) because we're funding their lifestyle as taxpayers.

What lifestyle an adult paying all his own bills and a woman caring for her severely disabled child

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:25

Nervousmummy2 · 11/04/2026 12:24

Nope I have taken one to dancing.. now with their dad doing an activity and going back to his house for dinner etc… I’m off to spend that tax money of all of yours on my unborn though through universal credit on my weekend off from work of course you idiots 😂😂😂😂😂 have a day off

Have a lovely time x

OP posts:
slimline · 11/04/2026 12:26

Jamesblonde2 · 11/04/2026 12:24

It is her business. It’s the business of all of us who pay tax.

Yep

OP posts:
Monty36 · 11/04/2026 12:26

ShetlandishMum · 11/04/2026 11:21

None of your business.

If people claim from the state then it does become peoples interest. If they don’t, then no it isn’t.

youalright · 11/04/2026 12:27

TheAutumnCrow · 11/04/2026 12:19

It’s probably all made up shite anyway.

Of course it is this is about the 12th thread in the last 72 hours slagging of anyone on uc

Tacohill · 11/04/2026 12:27

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:19

hell no. He’s fat, bald and about 5’6. No thanks would rather be single

😂😂 I’d love to see what you look like

OriginalUsername2 · 11/04/2026 12:30

Catkinsblossom · 11/04/2026 12:11

There is a magic money tree. It's called wealth tax, universal basic income, state investment in renewable energy, taking water back into public ownership, sorting out and investing in school and sen provision so that fewer people get on the treadmill to low earnings, preventative community healthcare so people don't have such poor and expensive MH, and also expensive prison sentences which mean we have to build more expensive prisons. It's called rejoining the EU so we can benefit from shared resources, it's called welcoming innovative immigrants and boosting green growth by giving them jobs. Above all it's called regulation that stems the absolute bleeding of all our national wealth into the pockets of private equity. Why is it more expensive to take your dog to the vet or your child to the dentist these days? It's because the magic money tree is shaking its golden leaves into the baskets of billionaires. It's called impact investment and community wealth building.

There is a whole forest of magic money trees.

But we can't plant them, we can't have all these good things, because people like you, OP, don't educate yourself about how the world really works, and would rather sit with the emotion of punitive, mean spirited zero-sum-game resource management.

I understsnd your frustration OP. I too give in to mine - actually here, I know damn well that me saying this just adds to the polarisation and doesn't help you change your mind. But I sometimes I too give in to frustration.

All of this. Normal people are simply trying to get by in the ways available to them within a system that is steadily deteriorating.

It’s easier to punch down though, isn’t it. I bet it feels real good.

MacchiatoMavis · 11/04/2026 12:30

Well I for one am absolutely convinced that this entirely non-fictional couple really do transgress all manner of social, moral and legal codes and I 100% do not think that the OP is a wanna-be junior salty internet agitator. I'm also sure he or she isn't having the absolute best day EVER with this definitely not nonsense posting.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/04/2026 12:30

I notice that you have completely ignored the posters who have offered reasons why she may not have moved in with her dh, that aren’t about the benefits she gets, @slimline. I am unsurprised by this. You want to bash this woman, you have no interest in understanding her.

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:30

youalright · 11/04/2026 12:27

Of course it is this is about the 12th thread in the last 72 hours slagging of anyone on uc

I can assure you, I am very much real and this is not made up lol. Loads of people are on the fiddle, why do you refuse to believe it?

OP posts:
youalright · 11/04/2026 12:32

slimline · 11/04/2026 12:30

I can assure you, I am very much real and this is not made up lol. Loads of people are on the fiddle, why do you refuse to believe it?

So you've just decided to get upset about it now and write a thread today after reform and the media have started going on about universal credit