DH doesn’t want me to take pain relief for a better diagnosis

[nevermatchtoesandfingers]

I have Endo and Adeno, currently swapping gynae. Not happy with my current treatment path. Next step before another referral is an internal ultrasound (again) as part of the pre referral obs. They are extremely painful for me due to the Adeno So I planned to take some Valium and codiene before so it wouldn’t hurt. He thought that was wrong and are currently not talking because he thought my strategy to avoid paid wouldn’t give them them the best diagnosis. Please assure me he is 1000000000% in the wrong ai

As the doctor or practitioner before the appointment whether you can take something, not mumsnet

He’s absolutely wrong!
Theres no way an ultrasound can be done well if you’re wriggling around because you are stressed and on pain. The operator needs you to be relaxed, still and co operative
Good luck.
Your husband is an arse!

For an internal ultrasound? How would not taking pain relief change the outcome? You know your own body and I'd just be wary about the codeine if you find it constipates you as this might potentially make it more difficult to get the images needed.

He is talking shite

Pay no attention to such drivel about pain relief and medications unless you actually forgot to mention his MD status and his professional knowledge about your case.

Go and check with the actual qualified MEDICAL professionals associated with your case.

Ask the doctor about pain medication pre procedure.

Is your husband a doctor? If so, he should leave your pre procedure care to your doctor. If not, he's not your doctor and you can ignore his fucking shit.

Women are so under medicated for pain during a lot of painful medical procedures it's fucking ridiculous and he can shove his views on pain meds up his ass and I hope it hurts.

I don’t understand his logic - how does avoiding pain relief allow for a better ultrasound? It doesn’t at all, you’d be squirming around and even more tense so the whole process would be more difficult for both you and the practitioner and ultimately more painful/stressful for you - for what? So they can see how much pain you’re in? Does he think they wouldn’t believe you when you’ve told them?
I simply can’t get my head around why he would want an exploratory medical procedure to be any more painful and stressful for you than need be!?!

The test is the ultrasound not wether or not it hurt you.

also it’s your body not his

How is this ANY of his business at all?! Jeez, I'd be telling him to go fuck himself.

Well if you've got access to valium and codeine that sounds like a very sensible time to take it.

He sounds absurd and what business is it of his what you put inside your body? And how the hell would he know how it feels to have pain in parts of the body he doesn't even posses?

It sounds misogynistic almost.

What's the random ai on the end of your post mean?
YABU to ask MN - since when does it matter what your husband thinks about pain relief for you?
It's not his body, is it?!

I'm not sure how a pain killer or a benzo is going to change the physical structures inside your abdomen which the ultrasound is looking at. I don't think the ultrasound tech will report on your level of pain or discomfort during the scan. Or if they mentioned it, how much influence that would have over the physical findings of the scan. But I'm not a medic so what do I know? Equally what do you or your DH know?
So yes, give the clinic a phone and ask for medical advice on it.

He's not talking to you though??

Your husband is an idiot. A really stupid idiot.

That’s all you need to know.

Possibly AIBU ?

Only you, and your dr get to tell you what meds you take and how, and not your partner @nevermatchtoesandfingers I hope the scan goes as well as it can 💐

Does he think that pain killers remove the thing causing pain and therefore nothing will show up on the scan? And the endo will reform and readhere when the paracetamol wears off?

Or does he think that you won't be believed if you aren't screaming in agony? And does this mean he either doesn't believe you or thinks you're exaggerating?

Your husband clearly doesn't have a clue what the appointment is for or how the diagnosis process works. Scans are designed to find physical problems underlying the pain, if they didn't believe the pain was real you wouldn't have been referred for the scan.

Enjoy him not talking to you while it lasts, and good luck with the scan.

He stopped speaking to you because you are contemplating using pain relief? Time to spend some time on the Women's Aid website and see if any of the other abusive behaviours ring a bell.

I mean, ultimately, you’ll have to check with your dr it’s ok to take those meds.

But I don’t see how they could affect your scan, as the scan isn’t measuring pain.

Your husband’s attitude sounds worryingly misogynistic tbh - like he wants you to be in pain.

He thought that was wrong and are currently not talking because he thought my strategy to avoid paid wouldn’t give them them the best diagnosis.

The silent treatment is a form of abuse. He's abusing you because you want pain relief during a medical procedure and he thinks he can manipulate you into doing what he says. He's controlling.

He's trying to insert himself into your medical care and dictate what you can and can't do with your body. Also controlling and abusive.

Again, reach out to your doctor and ask about pre procedure pain relief. You might also talk to them about your husband's behaviours trying to control your body. These are some real red flags he's flying.

No uterus, no opinion

You've got a lot on at the moment, so now might not be the time. But it sounds like you need to have a careful think about his behaviour, and what the dynamic is like usually.

The only thing DH would be worrying about would be me, how to make it as easy and comfortable as possible. He wouldn't be having a strop about something he knows fuck all about.

I hope it all goes ok.

What the actual fuck, has it got to do with him? Does he try and control other parts of your life?

Not only is it nothing to do with him but he’s completely wrong. Which is actually beside the point.

When did your dh get his medical qualification?. If it's never tell him to stfu.

I have endo/ando.

I think I understand what your husband is trying to say, and it's probably well intended, albeit inaccurate.

Any internal ultrasound isn't being carried out to assess pain. It's being carried out to see if there is anything causing the pain, scaring, tissue, masses etc.

I had subsequent procedues where I was advised not to take pain meducation in advance as they were trying to determine the impact and pain levels so if it was one of those procedures, he would have a point.

An ultra sound doesn't assess pain so he's wrong in this instance.

I would give him the benefit of the doubt. He's trying to be helpful but doesn't understand the procedures.

He wants the best outcome for you. But in this case he’s wildly wrong.