AIBU to feel annoyed by fit people refusing to work?

[Lazypeopleannoyme]

I get really annoyed when I see perfectly fit people not working and then complaining that they are forced to go back to work.

I know if a woman that has lost custody of her 3 children. One was put into care with her parents because the father didn’t want to take care. The other 2 are living with their father.

She pays no maintenance for them because she isn’t working. Her benefits are being cut and all she does is complain to the fathers that she has no money and wants them to pay her living costs and her petrol to collect the children.

What benefits could she be claiming if fit and healthy with no dependants?
Isn’t unemployment benefit about £80 a week?

It's about time this wasn't an option.

I know a couple of fit and healthy people who work under 16 (?) hours per week in order to retain benefits. They see their children at weekends, so could work longer hours mid week As a tax payer, I think this isn't great. Would be better if they worked longer hours and supported themselves financially

But I blame the system, not them

Its easy to judge people in these situations from the outside looking in. Its easy to see this woman making a string of reckless decisions and to judge her as lazy and playing the system. Perhaps she is, but a normal person wouldn't, and the people who do this are not of sound mind - she wouldnt of lost custody of 3 children if she was. Just because its been a year and she says shes fit to work and be a parent doesn't mean that she is - clearly, she is not.

There are a lot of people that take the piss out of the benefits system and claim them because it's free money and they don't see why not. Those are the people that bother me, that I agree, should be made to work (disregarding the horrendous job market) and should not receive benefits if they refuse.

However there are soooo many people that are not in work because they are genuinely unable to. You can make these judgements while having absolutely no idea on the reality of their situation. I think its dangerous to propagate the idea that people who are on sick leave / unemployed and claiming benefits are all perfectly able to work but too lazy to do so; because it is vastly untrue. It makes the ones who really arent fit to work get bunched together with the others, and thus wrongly viewed as lazy and idle.

YANBU I’ve just spoken to someone who I’ve not seen in a while and asked if they had a nice bank holiday weekend.
He had no idea it was a bank holiday as he doesn’t work.

He’s spent the entire weekend getting drunk and now he’s waiting to get another tattoo.

What’s frustrating is how many people claim MH for their reason not to work but it’s not working that causes MH issues.

You can’t have no routine or purpose in your life and wonder why your MH is in shatters.

If she couldn't manage the care of her own children to the point they were removed from her care then it's pretty likely she would struggle to hold down a job too. There must be some thing going on for her to get to that point, mental health/learning difficulties/addiction.

Same here. As the bulk of my current caseload is tribunals I know too just how "easy" it is, and get so frustrated at some of the misconceptions around it.

The system really needs a complete overhaul, IMO. Much worse now with mental health conditions of which the narrative needs to change to include 'occupational therapy' - ie, working.

This one was reported recently and annoyed me more:

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cn4vmw27x13o

continue to be amazed that mumsnet users have such detailed knowledge of their acquaintances’ medical histories.

Don’t look down on anyone unless you’re helping them up

If I were you I'd keep my judgemental opinions to myself. You have no idea what's going on in her life.

It's not like she's hop, skipping and jumping out of her Beemer or is she 🤔

No, you’re not unreasonable, but nothing will change in the short term. 🙄

But surely this is national news because it's rare. It's only newsworthy because it fits this myth that this kind of this happens all the time. Also, £23k over two years is not actually that much money, certainly not enough to be having long haul activity holidays and and all the stuff she's alleged to have paid for, on top of daily living costs- I think this woman must had money coming in from somewhere else?

I'm a bit disappointed that there have only been a couple of benefit bashing threads today. Mn is slipping. Haven't noticed that many fat people/council housing/ foreigners hating ones either. Annoying

I think minding our own business is the only way to survive in this world. So better do that

I’m not bashing. Just trying to understand.
She was able to before the third child but decided to quit her job 3 years before when she left the father of the first 2. Even though there was no reason. she had a part time job and got benefits on top but she decided she wouldn’t work anymore
She worked when she was with father 1 after the children were born.
I would like to support her. She has options for a well paid job because of her qualifications but also doesn’t think of that. She refuses better paid jobs that she could have around where we live.
I believe that of she doesn’t find a job she will never get her children back. I think it is the first step, her benefits are being cut because she doesn’t have any children at home.
I just feel that she isn’t helping herself. It doesn’t matter what she does. If she shows she is going out and doing something every day she might get some more support. But screaming at the fathers doesn’t bring anything.
I actually find it sad. And how can one encourage someone.

She has told me. She also asked me to take her baby home with me last year.

There’s been a lot of benefit bashing threads going on this week!

She doesnt sound like many people would employ her.

You’re not trying to understand. Nor do I think you’d like to support her. You’re bashing someone, presumably a friend or family member, and hoping that we’ll hop on board your little bandwagon. I see from your username that lazy people annoy you. Judgmental fucks annoy me.

I would struggle to feel much other than pity for that woman to be frank. What a sad, sad situation for all involved.

Your opening post states that you are annoyed by perfectly fit people not working, but now claim you are just trying to understand..
quite the turnaround…

What are you suggesting? We bring back work houses & lock up anyone that doesn't have a job?

People don't get their children taken off them for not having a job so there's obviously more to it, you've even said she had depression after her baby was born so you know that she has mental health issues and yet you're still judging her and claiming she is fit for work, I'm not getting that from your description of her, she seems lost and unwell to me and you just seem judgemental and lacking compassion, maybe work on that.

For some people, working helps their mental health. For others, it has the complete opposite effect. It isn't always so black and white.