Speaking with mouth full of food

[BlueCanaryInTheAlleyByTheLightswitch]

Is it OK for an adult to talk with mouth full of food? This is during family mealtime conversation at home or in a restaurant.

YANBU - it’s grim, finish your mouthful we don’t want to see your half chewed food or hear you chewing while you speak.
YABU - it’s fine, you’re with loved ones. it’s a bit “Victorian” to suggest you shouldn’t do it (like “elbows off the table”)

No. It’s disgusting. Personally I don’t want to see half chewed food in someone’s mouth or pieces of the flying out when they’re trying to talk. 🤢 I couldn’t eat with someone like this and would have to say something to them.

Edited for posting too soon.

It’s horrible. Do they know they are doing it? Do they care if you point it out? I can eat with people like that.

Greater risk of choking when talking with your mouthful. Nor do I want to be sprayed with someone else’s mouth detritus, regardless of them being my kin.

It’s maddening!

The context is that both my DM and my DMiL do this - they’re late 70s/early 80s but both physically and cognitively well (so no issues chewing/swallowing or understanding things).

We do politely ask them not to do it.

My DMiL will briefly stop but then almost instantly forget as she’s someone who will talk the hind legs off a proverbial donkey, so doesn’t really pause to do the eating bit.

My DM gets really huffy and flaps her arms round in objection or says something sarcastic in response when I ask her not to do it 🙄. She seems to think there’s nothing wrong with it, it’s socially acceptable and that we’re being precious.

None of it is helped by the fact DH has misophonia and generally hates the sound of anyone eating/chewing even with mouth fully closed. He will eg move train carriages if someone in his carriage starts eating crisps. So it drives him particularly potty, and this makes it worse for me too, especially when it’s my DM doing it and I have the choice of the flapping sarcasm if I call it out or DH’s blood pressure going through the roof if I hope she stops of her own accord.

🫤

Urghhh. Bethenny Frankel when she was doing her chicken salad taste tests or supermodel snacks. The food is half falling out her mouth, I wonder if it's the lip fillers, perhaps they numb any sensation and she doesn't realise.

It is horrible. However I don't like being talked to when eating as then I feel I have to get on and swallow quickly to answer as they are waiting for a response. It gives me indigestion and makes me feel watched whilst eating.

So all meals in silence? Not being sarcastic - just wondering how it's possible.

See also: yawning without putting your hand over your mouth.

We don't all need to see your tonsils, Tanya!

Say it don't spray it....

Yuk it’s disgusting….I wouldn’t care how much my mum flapped her arms around I would continue to remind/ get grumpy back

I have a colleague that does it - another one they can talk under water so never stop talking- it’s so gross it really taints my friendship with her as I can’t eat with her.

I don’t want all my meals in silence, I just am totally unable to tell when someone is about to speak to me or when it’s appropriate to speak to someone else because I can’t predict when they are about to put the for to their mouth, I really don’t expect silence but I feel like I’m rude if I don’t chat, and rude if I do. I’m autistic and struggle to know when I supposed to speak as default, add in a meal where everyone else seems to actually know when to tap or who to engaged.

I now have physical issues to contend with and have severe pain in my jaw thanks to arthritis, and even when people know this, I still get comments about taking a while to chew and I know my mother has told people I have no issues that make me struggle with chewing, she insist I’m just awkward and constantly hurries me up so I no longer eat with her which means I miss out on lot of family stuff, she will constantly try and chat to me and complain if I take too long to answer, and she then goes “oooh we have to sit in silence” 🤦🏾‍♀️

Sounds like your mum is deliberately waiting for you to take a mouthful of food @ItActuallyDoesButOk to then ask a question so she can embarass and ridicule you. What a horrible thing to do.

I had an aunt who would eat and talk at the same time. I remember once, sitting in the lounge facing the window and it was bright sunshine and she was sat with her back to the window and a bowl of crisps was doing the rounds. She took a handful, stuffed them back whilst talking and I could see from the light of the sunshine that she managed to spray the rest of the bowl of crisps with her spittle at the same time. Made me want to vomit. (I did grab the bowl before it moved on so I could get a clean one with a fresh bag of crisps!) 🤢 What makes me laugh is that she's such a 'Hyacinth Bucket' character too!!

I don't want to see food going round someone's mouth like laundry in a washing machine.
Kid at school dinners kept doing it despite being told not too
He got a punch in the face for his trouble.
Problem solved

No, it’s horrid, vile and all kinds of rude. And I have misophonia which makes it ten times worse!

99% of the time I agree that it's rude and just wait to finish. If it's urgent or a quick comment with a hand in front of your mouth I don't mind.

Agree. And re elbows on the table, this is a constant battle with DC. They cant understand “why”. It’s part of manners, mutual respect etc
Speaking with mouth full, elbows on table etc - all unacceptable

How urgent is it that you can’t swallow before talking?

My mum is awul for it. Also late 70s and speaks with her mouth full a lot. She has really sloppy table manners now and is terrible at home and in a restaurant. She and my dad go on cruises and I feel sorry for people who share their table.
I make a point of waiting to finish chewing before I answer her but she doesn't take a hint so I resort to telling her it's unpleasant amd then I'm told off for being rude.
Her general food hygiene standards are quite bad now too. She'll use serving spoons but push food on to them with her fingers, wipe cream off cake slices with her fingers or on her dirty apron and put it back on the plate to cut the next piece. Lots of little examples but she makes me feel a bit ill because I wonder what she does to our food when we aren't watching. I'm sure her standards have slipped and it wasn't always the case.
Maybe I'll stop caring about manners in 30 years too, if her food poisoning doesn't finish me off first...

Nope. Even our toddler will say ‘chew swallow speak’ if someone at the table talks with food in their mouth as we say that to her if she tries to talk with food in her mouth 😂

Disgusting . People are revolting .
I can’t be around anyone that eats because it fillls me with rage . But I do also have misophonia .

I feel for you - I have a colleague who could do this for the olympics.

Unwraps cereal bar
"So..."
Bites cereal bar then points it at us before speaking
"sblgkfejfhgjhfvleyflzisfb"

Hope that wasn't important Michelle.

OP, I think we share a MIL!
Over the years, I've learnt not to ask her anything as she is about shovel food in. I have said to her previously 'Its ok, wait till you've finished your mouthful' but this falls on deaf ears.

I'm never giving her a sausage roll or anything with puff pastry ever again. The pastry flew out of her mouth landing in my own plate and hair! 🤢

Not in total silence but I don't like whole conversations when trying to eat as it's too difficult synchronising when to speak with others also trying to eat. The odd short comment is tolerable, we normally eat dinner with the news on tv or the radio as I don't do silence either as the noise of people eating can be irritating.

Oh that reminds me how my DM once had a nasty cough and coughed into her hands at the dinner table at a meal with her DS - fine, though really it should be the crook of your elbow - and then went to reach for the cheese board to cut herself a slice! 🤢

I stopped her before she could and asked if she would mind washing her hands first. She took great offence at this.

I asked her if she would be happy to buy cheese from a cheese counter if the person serving her had just coughed into their hands, but apparently our situation was different because we were all family 🙄

I gave up school dinners because of other kids chewing with their mouths open and foid flying out, yuk! I would rather run home for lunch than stay. This was back in the seventies when you had the option to stay for school dinners, which were gross or go home to lunch.