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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU that I am upset over a tattoo design?

113 replies

Lemonypaintpots · 09/04/2026 07:07

Hello,

sorry this is a little long so please bear with me!

Backstory- I am currently doing an illustration degree, as a mature student and the rise of AI was right around my first year. It is well known that AI has stolen many artworks that are published online to feed into their generators and AI is a big threat to illustrators. My husband and I have had many conversations about AI and he knows my views and knows I do NOT want my work put into any of these. I am a quiet and introverted person, and I don’t generally show my work much to anyone but I am gradually building up more confidence. I have loved art and drawing all my life and by no means new to it,

Moving on to the tattoo- He specifically asked if he could do one of my drawings- and requested a few alterations, which I did. He seemed very happy with the design, and booked in to get it done. I was having a small tattoo done as well so we booked to share a time slot.

Well yesterday was tattoo day. I checked again with him in the morning that he was happy with the design. He said he was, and that he was going to have a small alteration- to add my name into it. As there is a space where this could work, I thought nothing more of it, as I know the tattooist could easily incorporate it.

We got to the studio and began filling out the forms. Whilst he was filling his out, the tattooist asked which design he was going for- mine or the AI. This was news to me and I wondered what was going on. He immediately said, the AI one and asked my opinion. The tattooist showed me the screen with the AI image. I was mortified. I was completely put on the spot, and on the screen was this image with the same items as my drawing, but completely different style. It was very obvious it was AI, the positions had all changed as well, and he could see my reaction wasn’t positive. He tried to explain himself, saying that mine wasn’t very clear so he ran it through AI to sharpen it up. But It’s a completely different image. I just said, well it’s your tattoo so go for whatever you are happy with.

I went off to have mine done, silently furious he put my work into AI, and so embarrassed- that he told me he wanted my design- was it not good enough? I was also embarrassed that he put me on the spot, and that my name was going to be put in the middle of an AI image after hours of hard work making a design.

Later on he showed me, and honestly, It looks AI. When we got home, I expressed my views about AI again, and asked why he did it. He genuinely didn’t expect my reaction, and claimed he forgot to tell me that he ran it through, that he wanted the elements to be different proportions, and sees this AI image as my design. It only has the same objects in- it looks nothing like my style or design at all. Bear in mind I asked several times if there were any changes to be made, and he kept saying no. I explained how I felt, why it bothers me etc. We both hate confrontation, so he just shut down conversation about it and nothing more has been mentioned about tattoos at all. I noticed he has chosen to keep it covered up since. He seems to genuinely not understand my reaction, and I am just so embarrassed that he chose AI, embarrassed that my name is in the middle of it when it’s not my work, and most of all I am disappointed that he hid this all from me until the moment- he clearly knew my opinion and we have never hid things from each other. It’s not like I didn’t ask if there were any further alterations either! It has completely put me off finishing my degree, if my own husband cannot even support me over AI-

So AIBU?

OP posts:

LasVegass · 09/04/2026 07:11

YANBU for feeling hurt but YABU for not finishing your degree.

RoseField1 · 09/04/2026 07:14

YANBU to be upset that he rejected your design and asked AI to amend it. That's insulting. YABU to quit your degree because of it 🫤

Roads · 09/04/2026 07:14

It sounds like this is about much more than him using AI on the tattoo design, especially the immediate jump to not wanting to complete your degree over it. Your response to this seems very disproportionate.

PersephoneParlormaid · 09/04/2026 07:15

Poor guy, he’s had a tattoo done with your name in it and you’re kicking off. It sounds a tad controlling to me. And threatening to not finish your degree sounds like throwing your toys out the pram.

RS1987 · 09/04/2026 07:19

I think you’re overthinking it - try to put it to one side and move on. In the grand scheme of things it’s not as big a deal as you think.

SunnyRedSnail · 09/04/2026 07:19

YANBU to be pissed off. I would have said "choose whichever you like but don't you dare put my name on that AI rubbish"

YABU to think about quitting your degree over this. That's just petty and childish.

ChloeCannotCanCan · 09/04/2026 07:21

I’d be annoyed too - it’s so disrespectful to your work. And now it’s permanently on your husbands arm for you to look at every day!

Dont use it as an excuse not to finish your degree though, that’s just shooting yourself in the foot.

NeverAloneNeverAgain · 09/04/2026 07:22

The issue I think is you both avoid confrontation or the possibility of it. It would have been better if he had told you he wanted it altered or he had run it through AI prior to the appointment. I assume he avoided the conversation.

Ultimately a tattoo is permanent so he's not unreasonable to want changes or amendments. Its on his skin but I think unreasonable for not telling you.

Not wanting to finish your degree is an overreaction. You'll never please all the people all the time especially in a creative industry

Listlostlast · 09/04/2026 07:22

I was with you until I got to the ‘I’m going to quit my degree’ tantrum and now it’s making me wonder whether perhaps this whole thing is just a massive overreaction, particularly as he’s an otherwise good husband and knew how you felt about ai. Maybe he really did just want to play around with positioning and just didn’t think through the fact it would be used by ai for more than just this occasion? He probably felt like he didn’t want to keep on and on at you to keep making very slight changes

CarlaLemarchant · 09/04/2026 07:26

YANBU. He’s messed up. I haven’t got a creative or artistic bone in my body but even I can see that an artist creating at tattoo design for their partner would be extremely personal with thought and care going into it. Add to that your justified views on AI and it’s hard to fathom how he thought it would be ok to let AI fudge your work. Would you have responded well to his suggestions/criticisms? I know you said you kept asking if he was happy but if he’d have said no would you have been upset? Maybe he was trying to spare your feelings?

That said, it does seem like a genuine misjudgement and presuming he is a good partner in other ways, it’s done now. He can’t keep it covered up forever, you’re just going to have learn to ignore it.

Original poster

Lemonypaintpots · 09/04/2026 07:28

I didn’t really word it right about my degree- I don’t intend to give up, mainly because I have wanted to do a degree for so long and I really enjoy it ( I am 37) and I most certainly have not said my thoughts about that to my husband , but it’s really got me wondering what’s the point in the degree when AI is taking over so much in the art world and even my own husband opted for AI over human created art- it’s just really knocked my confidence and It’s unfortunately reinforced the fact that the chances of being able to do anything closely related to illustration as a profession afterwards is highly unlikely.

OP posts:

VisitingInkMonitor · 09/04/2026 07:30

if you are going to work in a creative industry you are going to have to develop a very thick skin - quitting your degree over this is insanity. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Ellie1015 · 09/04/2026 07:35

As it was for his tattoo I would be fine with changes so he gets exactly what he wants, he should have been upfront about it though. If he was adding your work to AI for any other reason I would be upset.

Also your name was likely to honour you rather than to sign your work so I wouldnt feel weird about name next to the AI version either.

ThePhantomsMask · 09/04/2026 07:36

It is bad enough that he didn't share his true thoughts with you on the design and ask for you to make the changes that he wanted, but to feed your work into an AI generator is such a betrayal.

I'm a writer and the thought of someone putting my words into a generator, especially if they knew how I felt, makes me feel ill. We put so much of ourselves into our art, it should be respected.

ProudAmberTurtle · 09/04/2026 07:38

You're so angry with him because he got a tattoo of your name with a design and it's not exactly the design you wanted, that you're considering quitting your degree in illustration?

This sounds like quite a first world problem.

Original poster

Lemonypaintpots · 09/04/2026 07:38

We have never really argued, we value each others opinions and he knows I am totally open to criticism and more than happy to alter as much as needed. I have said to him after the tattoo was done that if he is happy with it then I am happy with it- but that I would have preferred my name not to be on something that I didn’t design. It’s his tattoo, and he has to live with it, not me! I get that. I think for me it is more about the fact that he hid his plan- something I have never known him to do before, and TBH I don’t know why he did. He doesn’t know either. He is an amazing husband, so this seems rather out of character-Honesty is so important to me, and he knows that.

OP posts:

Whinge · 09/04/2026 07:41

I'm not a fan of AI, but quitting your uni course is a ridiculous over reaction.

rwalker · 09/04/2026 07:43

With kindness a tattoo is for life you need it to be 1000% right
why would you have tattoo your not happy with just do your partner didn’t kick off

he fined tuned your work
the industry your hoping to go into you need to accept and work along side AI not fight against it
like it or not AI is a massive part of the future pointless sulking and pushing back against it

Roads · 09/04/2026 07:43

what’s the point in the degree when AI is taking over so much in the art world and even my own husband opted for AI over human created art

I appreciate you're upset but this sounds like a very childish argument. He asked you to design his tattoo but made some changes using AI. Whilst I don't really like the growing prevalence of AI your response to something so minor seems so excessive.

BreatheAndFocus · 09/04/2026 07:44

I can understand you being upset, but your reaction seems very extreme. If the biggest issue now, reading your post above, is that it has your name in, then see if he can have that covered or changed into something else or amended somehow. But, however much you dislike AI, it’s his body. Perhaps he didn’t mention it to you because he was afraid of your extreme reaction?

I also think you a) need to work on reducing your hate of AI into calmer dislike; and b) toughen up a bit. My friend has been an illustrator for years and there’s no way she’d have made it without a thick skin.

MinimumRage · 09/04/2026 07:46

I understand your frustration.

But to succeed with your art you will need to find a way to make peace with AI existing (and the reality that any artwork you put on line eg to sell may get scraped into AI generators) …

Original poster

Lemonypaintpots · 09/04/2026 07:46

ThePhantomsMask · 09/04/2026 07:36

It is bad enough that he didn't share his true thoughts with you on the design and ask for you to make the changes that he wanted, but to feed your work into an AI generator is such a betrayal.

I'm a writer and the thought of someone putting my words into a generator, especially if they knew how I felt, makes me feel ill. We put so much of ourselves into our art, it should be respected.

Yes this is what my issue is- I think it can be hard for non-creatives to understand how much effort goes in - the years of learning techniques, practise, refinement etc. hours every day- just to be chucked into a generator. My husband sees all the efforts I go to, and knows how important his criticisms are as well - I think that’s why this particularly bothers me- because It makes me wonder if he has been sparing my feelings on other work.

OP posts:

Mandoidi · 09/04/2026 07:50

I understood what you meant about it putting you off your degree.

I think you are very right to be annoyed. Casual AI use is an insult to most people's skills, both everyday skills and talent based skills. It's definitely a dumbing down and the fact that so many are lapping it up horrifies me.

I can see certain aspects of AI being useful, I would call it Technical AI use, where a skilled operator can use a specialist AI tool to work on something that would be incredibly difficult or maybe even impossible to achieve without it.

In this case AI just isn't needed, and your husband's choice to go down that path instead of trusting your skill just says he doesn't think your talents are valuable enough.

rockinrobins · 09/04/2026 07:55

AI is destroying the art world and extremely damaging to artists. It's a threat to human creativity on a large scale. I think it was really disrespectful of your husband to do this and I would be livid in your position, too. He knew your feelings on it, which makes it worse.

I don't know how you repair this, especially as he's already got the tattoo, but I think you're entirely reasonable to feel how you do. This kind of casual AI use is really unethical and I'm astonished that your husband isn't more supportive of you as an artist.

Does he understand what AI is doing to artists and people in your profession? Perhaps he needs a bit of a wake up call and education on the topic.

Original poster

Lemonypaintpots · 09/04/2026 07:56

rwalker · 09/04/2026 07:43

With kindness a tattoo is for life you need it to be 1000% right
why would you have tattoo your not happy with just do your partner didn’t kick off

Edited

I agree it needs to be 1000% right which is why I was open to all the edits in the world for him. He didn’t fine tune my work in any sense though, he chucked it in a generator and is walking around with an image that looks nothing like it that has so many AI errors in. I do use AI for other things- It’s just I find it hard to appreciate my own family spitting out AI versions of my work. I feel my family (especially immediate) are the ones who wouldn’t do such a thing- I am thick skinned when it comes to outside my family- I am fully aware my work will ultimately end up chopped and changed - suppose I just thought having a design I drew by hand would have more meaning for my husband than an error filled AI image that looks more like a rubber stamp…

OP posts:

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