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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU long wait for a lift

40 replies

TheBusyMoose · 08/04/2026 16:44

AIBU to be annoyed? My husband dropped me off at hospital and then took kids home again assuming I could catch an uber. Wait for uber was 2 hours so I called him and he said he would come back. It's a 35 min drive. I called him 40 mins after originally speaking to him and he was only 10 mins from home he had been finishing his computer game. AIBU to be pissed off that I wasn't prioritised, there was no urgency and he didn't even update me so I'm here waiting like a melon?

OP posts:
Original poster
TheBusyMoose · 08/04/2026 16:45

I am sitting here seething, it is sunny but there is nowhere to sit and I'm in quite a lot of pain after an injury.

I would have sat inside for longer but assumed he would be here so headed the 8min walk to where he parks, in too much pain to walk back and forth again.

OP posts:
Lastofthesummerwines · 08/04/2026 16:46

Omg my stressed brain thought this would be about the long wait for a lift to come take you to another floor and I thought surely there isn’t somewhere that has lifts that take as long as the Queen Elizabeth hospital in Birmingham !!!!!! You can be the only one standing there and by the time a lift gets to you there’s 50 folk and they crowd and fill the lift before you get there 😂

sorry as you were !

Original poster
TheBusyMoose · 08/04/2026 16:47

Lastofthesummerwines · 08/04/2026 16:46

Omg my stressed brain thought this would be about the long wait for a lift to come take you to another floor and I thought surely there isn’t somewhere that has lifts that take as long as the Queen Elizabeth hospital in Birmingham !!!!!! You can be the only one standing there and by the time a lift gets to you there’s 50 folk and they crowd and fill the lift before you get there 😂

sorry as you were !

lol, sorry to disappoint 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
TheBusyMoose · 08/04/2026 16:48

His argument will be he has done me a favour and that I don't need to wait for an Uber but he's not doing anything at home other than playing on computer while kids all game as well so don't see why he couldn't hurry slightly

OP posts:
SunnyRedSnail · 08/04/2026 16:53

@TheBusyMoose it's another 1 hour plus round trip dragging the kids out, so I would have waited for an Uber.

Do you not have any public transport that could have got you nearer home?

Original poster
TheBusyMoose · 08/04/2026 16:57

SunnyRedSnail · 08/04/2026 16:53

@TheBusyMoose it's another 1 hour plus round trip dragging the kids out, so I would have waited for an Uber.

Do you not have any public transport that could have got you nearer home?

No unfortunately and I can't drive currently due to the injury. I asked him to wait and take them to the park instead. They haven't left the house all Easter hols as I can't walk any distance or sit in certain chairs and he won't take them by himself so being dragged out won't hurt them, pretty sure they will be on devices in car so no difference to if he was at home with them

but maybe I am being selfish.

OP posts:
SixSevenShutUp · 08/04/2026 16:58

Ugh, he sounds like a right numptie. The next time he needs a favour, make sure it's at your convenience and definitely no rushing to help. Match his energy, so many women give and give and then find that there's no reciprocity.

Hope you are home soon and feeling better, though.

Original poster
TheBusyMoose · 08/04/2026 17:00

At this rate I could have just waited for an uber lol, would have been a similar time.

he's not great at urgency or time keeping or doing things in a timely manner so it may be annoying me more because of that

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 08/04/2026 17:00

he won't take them by himself

Why??

He sounds useless all round
Hooe you recover soon and dump him/ leave him for a week at least/make him take kids out

Original poster
TheBusyMoose · 08/04/2026 17:01

That's the other thing I am recovering after my 6th surgery in 3 months, am really not feeling my best.

I wish he was the I'm here supporting you as much as needed, doing everything to help sort of person

OP posts:
Original poster
TheBusyMoose · 08/04/2026 17:03

cestlavielife · 08/04/2026 17:00

he won't take them by himself

Why??

He sounds useless all round
Hooe you recover soon and dump him/ leave him for a week at least/make him take kids out

because there's too many of them apparently... but I am capable of doing it regularly and that's fine

he is dramatic about it and ott, he would be fine but won't even do soft play by himself.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheBusyMoose · 08/04/2026 17:04

And yes they are all his children, 4 before I get asked, ranging from 3 to 11

OP posts:
ChickenBananaBanana · 08/04/2026 17:08

So what does he say if you say to him dh if anything happened to me you're claiming these kids would never leave the house again apart from school? Is he not ashamed of being so pathetic

Overthebow · 08/04/2026 17:09

I don’t really see it as a big deal that he finished what he was doing and then came to get you, he left 30 mins after you called. It’s more concerning that he hasn’t taken the kids out all holidays though and they’ve just been stuck inside the whole time.

takealettermsjones · 08/04/2026 17:09

Given that the kids had already been in the car for 70 mins today, I would have waited the 2 hours rather than have them do another 70 mins in the car.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time and I hope you're feeling better soon.

HurlyWhurly · 08/04/2026 17:17

Hey you, sounds like you've been having a tough time and your partner seems to be less than supportive just when you need him most.

Having had several hospital procedures myself I know how different it feels to hv someone there to cover the logistics compared to not.

Hope you are home soon and have a smooth recovery. Don't leap back into being "the capable one" - make sure you look after yourself and give yourself proper time to physically heal.

Not sure what to suggest about your partner - it sounds like they are either generally hopeless or, more likely, a master of strategic incompetence. Whichever it is - you don't need to automatically fill the gap.

Hope you feel better soon.

Holesinmesocks · 08/04/2026 17:22

A divorce would be my response, I divorced one of my useless ex h's for not engaging with our kids. So I was ineffect a single parent before the divorce he was just added clutter on the seatee.
There were a couple of other smaller things but that was the main one.

Original poster
TheBusyMoose · 08/04/2026 18:03

Yeh I think I would have been less annoyed if he had said I can't come back you need to wait for the uber... it's the yeh sure I'm on my way to leave later and not keep me updated I find frustrating.

and he has form for this.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheBusyMoose · 08/04/2026 18:05

I think maybe I'm just over sensitive and over emotional because it's been such a tough few months and I feel like he could be more supportive in general

OP posts:
Twinkylightsg · 08/04/2026 18:06

Tbf, I would have waited for an uber. Wouldn't be asking OH and kids to come back and then drive bk home again. But that's just me 🤷‍♀️

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/04/2026 18:09

I think he should have taken them to the park or out somewhere!

I might have waited for the Uber if I knew they’d all gone home but easy to say when you’re not in pain after an op

Original poster
TheBusyMoose · 08/04/2026 18:36

i think I must be overreacting because of how useless he has been.

im meant to be resting as much as possible so will ask him to grab me painkillers when he's up and he will bring me 1 paracetamol instead of 2, apparently so I dont become reliant on them

he accidentally elbowed me in my wound and instead of just sorry initially said that's not where it is, then well it's well dressed, eventually im sorry if you got hurt and when I rolled my eyes, what I apologised

he has all the meds I need and timings written down and keeps missing them

theres loads more but these are just examples

i guess he just isn't being supportive and I feel yuk

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/04/2026 18:43

Oh he’s abusive and deliberately making you suffer more.

Sorry you’re going through this OP, but he obviously is. It probably wasn’t accidental that he elbowed you in your wound, that’s awful.

Only thing you are being unreasonable about is letting him have the medicines and list. You need to take over that yourself as he clearly doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

2026Y · 08/04/2026 18:48

TheBusyMoose · 08/04/2026 16:48

His argument will be he has done me a favour and that I don't need to wait for an Uber but he's not doing anything at home other than playing on computer while kids all game as well so don't see why he couldn't hurry slightly

If that’s his argument then he’s a dick! He’s your husband for Christ’s sake - surely it’s not too much to ask to expect him to pause his game and collect you asap from the hospital? I’d be fuming too.

Charel2girl5 · 08/04/2026 18:51

You are not over sensitive or over emotional. He prioritized his game over you waiting for him outside a hospital. Utterly outrageous, I would absolutely take my DH’s head off (not literally) if he did this. Hope you feel better.
oh and incidentally husbands don’t do favors for their wives, they support and help them!