Overspending please help

[SunConure]

To be losing £500 per month. I am overspending by about £500 every month and I need some help to get it under control.
£1100 mortgage + council tax + electric gas etc
£110 phones for me and dc (in contract! )
£500 food (I am addressing this - joined a larder!)
£360 medical bills
£280 cleaner
£200 utilities on holiday home (no mortgage)

£200 travel to work
£100 pet insurance (high b/c of past claim)
£100 dc pocket money and activities
£200 loan repayments
£100 car
£2-300 on general living

Buy any needed clothes from vinted. Nothing else is essential, so don't do them until you get another job

There's two of you and food is £500 a month? That's insane. As are the phone contracts. You'd find 500 getting rid of the cleaner and sorting our your food spending.

How I did it..by cutting cloth accordingly.

I have a part time , min wage job (but very physical/ stressful) as have health issues I can't work FT. Get no help at all financially
Downsized to a small cottage.. 20 sq m - easy to run, don't often have heating on
Economical car
Social life is the odd pub quiz or seeing friends
No taxis or takeaways
Get out walking with my camera for cheap activities (Used to work in that field)
No children
Only had UK hols - not been anywhere for over three yrs but have some good day trips instead, which is fine as can't leave Dcat anyway (don't have care for him anymore and the fussy neurotic furry only accepted my mum having him)
Luckily I do eat a lot at work which helps (either free or subsidised) but eat cheaply at home. No alcohol.
I still have a rich and fulfilling life with partner and friends.. it can be done! I'm perfectly happy and no longer worrying about overspending every month
And as I say.. cancelled pet insurance but put a little aside for emergency

Oh and my phone contract is £1.50 a month....Lebara.
Last year I switched bank accounts to First Direct and they paid me I think was £200 or £250 to do so.
Always use Martyn Lewis for tips too

Restaurants, redecorating and holidays are not essential. They need to stop.

Clothes can be bought relatively cheaply on vinted - if your child is at an age when they outgrow things this is far more sensible than buying full price. You mostly likely don't need new clothes.

Yes Waitrose
Got
me into this mess But now joined a community larder which is helping a lot. Dc gets £50
he's 15 but the other £50 is for his put of school
activities, haircuts,
clothes

Shop around yearly for best insurance deals too , can be a pain changing stuff around but saved several hundred last yr on utilities and insurance.

I don’t spend anything on clothes for myself

This is a piss take surely? So much obvious wastage.

Was just going to post similar, either that or a stealth boast

Accepting you have to budget is a good start. You cannot continue to spend without thought.
So you do have to make cuts.

Your medical bills seem very high. For how long are these level of payments forecasted to be for ? Is there a plan to reduce your treatment ? How long have you been paying someone this amount of money every month ?

Your holiday home needs to go if you are not renting it out. A low market or not. Get rid of it.

At least do one thing tomorrow. And one the day after. One change for the financial better.

There is nothing great about spending money you have not got.
So don’t !

Don’t get rid of the cleaner. If you’re a single adult family with a dc, working full time, a cleaner is a high priority expense.

Cleaner is amongst the last things to go.

Phones are far too high - when you’re out of contract, cancel that. Buy a phone that you can afford to purchase and use a SIM only deal like giffgaff.

Food bill is too high - you could probably halve this with two of you - ours is less than £400 with three of us (adult, 17 and 12 yos) and that’s when I’m not being careful.

Tell us about “general living” - looks like that figure could do with some scrutiny.

Renting the holiday home some of the year could fill a gap too.

@SunConure is your house in France somewhere that appeals to holoday makers? I think the comments to let it are a little blaze. It isn't that easy unless an agent will take it on and unless you speak fluent enough French to deal with the bureacracy. Who will manage the rentals for you and deal with guest's issues/queries? I am aware the property sales market is presently slow in France. It's worse than here.

Are you working full-time? If not, sadly I think the cleaner has to go or be cut by half. Have you looked at somewhere like Relate for therapy; they do a lot more than couples counselling now and on a means tested basis when dd was ill, it was very reasonable. I caveat that with the fact that therapists are hard to find a good fit and dd hit lucky with the lady at Relate, adter trying at least 4/5 others from eyewateringly expensive to NHS.

How old is your son? When will the loan be repaid?

Can you break down the £200 to £300 on life? Are you making packed lunches?

I'm not persuaded £500 is that toppy for food, esoecially if your DS is 11+.

£110 for phones for 3 of you is huge! We pay £15 a month for 3 of us. But we don't have new phones every 2 years and keep them for 6 years.

The cleaner is a luxury.

Your food bill is quite a lot. Our monthly bill is the same but 5 of us. Do you not cook from scratch???

And what do you mean by general living? Doesn't that come under the other categories?

It would appear you are living a somewhat luxury lifestyle on a mediocre budget.

If you can't sell the holiday home, can you rent it out over the peak season at least.

That list looks quite short, so you're probably missing some categories, look at proper budgeting advice and think about what you're really spending - analyse your bank account for the last year. Look to reduce the spend or cut it out entirely where possible.

How long before the loan ends, also the phone contracts. When the phone contracts end, keep your current phones and go sim only so you're paying more like £5 a month each not £55.

Can you earn more? Can your DS earn any money? Do you have anything you can sell? When is your mortgage up for renewal and will it increase or decrease?

Check your utilities are on the best price and you're not being wasteful, eg using tumble dryer in nice weather, heating the house at night/when you're out etc.

Surely you don’t need a community larder to get two people under £500 on food?!

Activities etc for DC sounds fine.

Medical bills are high but it’s hard for us to know if you have shopped around re this. Or if you could get something that works for you (maybe not the optimal thing but that works) on the NHS.

If things continue this way you’ll have to look at selling the holiday home.

It is not a piss take or a boast I have had a very stressful job over the past few years and severe mental health issues the only things that helped me through are the therapy and the cleaner and I’m struggling to give them up but I guess I will have to. There have been a lot of very helpful replies which are genuinely helping me. Unfortunately I had started to see these things as essential for my mental health. That is why I’m asking for help. I need to see what is essential and what is not.

The phone contracts are insane.
And that amount of food for 2 people? How big are you?? 😅 (that’s a joke btw!)

Look at charging phone contract or getting a cheaper deal as soon as you can. Cut your food bill right down- change your shop of choice, do a menu every weekend so you know exactly what to buy for the week and keep it within a budget.

Those medical bills are really high. Private therapist? Can you reduce your number of sessions?

Id also get rid of the cleaner.

Don’t get rid of the cleaner. If you’re a single adult family with a dc, working full time, a cleaner is a high priority expense

No it's not. If they decluttered, didn't leave crap everywhere and put their minds to it, they could clean the house in an hour or so once a week. Most people don't want to clean, but when it's adding £3k per year to your growing debt, then needs must.

Thank you this tough love is really helping me !

I really don’t think getting rid of the cleaner is the answer.

Do you eat a lot of meat, or a lot of processed food?

Re my scrimp list... because I DO cut corners so much.. I can pay for
cat's special diet (extortionate due to health issues) also have my nails and eyelashes done every 6 weeks or so, non negiotable as thyroid disease wrecked mine and it makes me feel like me again (also because I'm customer facing, so it's a confidence thing)... but I obviously couldn't if I wasn't frugal elsewhere. Also on days off I try and time for 'yellow sticker' time in supermarkets.... the only thing I can't do is stock up on freezer items as mine is too tiny.
I also go to warehouse sized out of town charity shops where all clothes are £3-£5 (even found Missoni BNWT for £3 and sold it on for £100) and books are 3 for £1. Can be worth the extra petrol to go out of town if I need clothes.
Also have a book swap at work. I never buy books brand new these days.
Have clothes swaps with friends too

Do the cleaning yourself.
How do your kids earn their pocket money? They could help with the cleaning.
Sell your holiday home. How much is that costing you in bills?

Could your DC possibly help with cleaning for a bit of extra pocket money? Way cheaper than a cleaner

You don’t think it comes before vast phone and food bills, or a holiday home?

I am a full time working single parent - I already feel like I’m working myself into an early grave / get sod all time to actually rest or on anything I remotely enjoy.

I spend £200 on cleaning per month. It’s amongst the best money I spend.