Inspired by a thread bemoaning cultural attitudes of the 80s and how difficult it was for women to leave - true. But in my experience recent attitudes were awful.
I left my abusive husband 10 years ago when my children were young and I was stigmatised as a single mother by all the women at the school gate who had genuine concerns I would try it on with their husbands and so wanted me nowhere near. I was left out of social gatherings cliques and my children were not invited to parties. The few and I mean few people who were friends with me I will forever be grateful to.
I was treated in a mysogynistic and sexualised way by many many men I met in literally any capacity once they realised I was a single mum as someone they thought would be grateful for sex and attention - so disrespectful and gross. Very close friends did not believe he was capable of what he had done and implied it was my fault. These attitudes towards me were heartbreaking during a very painful time.
This honestly occurred over the 5 years I was single until I was in an established relationship with my new partner. I'm sure you'll all say well you must be a wanker then but I'm not sure that's completely true - I always had a thriving social life in my home town, with lots of friends from all contexts. I moved counties for exh work and left him due to abuse within 2 years so I had no established friend group around. Since being ina long term relationship since with a blokey bloke , guess what invites all back on the table, social life back on.
So for all of you saying -attitudes have changed - have a think about anyone you know who has actually left someone in clearly difficult circumstances and how you treat them - are you threatened, are you jealous, do you think they will be desperate for a shag, do you want to steer clear? As your it's your moment by moment actions and judgements that make up social attitudes. Rant over.