Stopped from taking my child into a changing room.

[LemingsLemon]

went to my local John Lewis today- more to buy some things for DD, but found a blouse that was on sale so decided to try it on

Went to the changing rooms- I had 3 items for DD (2 dresses and a pair of trousers) and the blouse. Went over to the changing rooms, pleasantries exchanged and attendant handed me a card with my number of items. DD was fast asleep in her small, umbrella fold buggy. Changing rooms are quite large- could have fit me and DD in th buggy in there with room for me to try items on.

Assistant stopped me as I was pushing her into a cubicle and explained it wasn’t allowed. Apparently in case I stole something and stashed it in the pram?!!? Assistant offered to keep an eye on DD for a few minutes while I tried my blouse on. I said I don’t know you, why would I trust a stranger with my daughter unsupervised. Assistant called a manager over who asked me to leave.

Safe to say I won’t be going back

AIBU to think this is batshit?

Because you hand back the 3 items to the member of staff and say no thanks but you have the one(s) you want hidden in the pushchair.

She gave you a card with the number of items you had on it. 4. Just 4.

Surely she checks you come out with 4? Not suggest you leave your sleeping child with a total stranger.

Definitely complain.

Certainly, yes. But that doesn't actually answer my question.

Best post.

Then it wouldn’t matter if she took the pushchair in or not. Unless the woman was planning on inspecting the pram whilst she tried on her item?

I take my toddler + buggy into cubicles all the time - never been challenged over it.

Did you miss some info out? From what you’ve written, it sounds unreasonable for JL manager to ask you to leave. My guess is there’s more to this than you’re letting on.

I don’t think they were trying to separate them. The girl probably just suggested it as an option because the OP wanted to try on the blouse.

It definitely feels like part of the story is missing.

It does matter if it’s stashed with goods. It’s easier and more acceptable to say ‘no prams in the fitting rooms’ than it is to search every pram. People would be going crazy of their babies prams were being searched like they were going to a prison visit.

My dd works at Next which is pretty hot on security but the things people do to shoplift are astounding. All they can do is have blanket policies like no prams.

I hate shoplifters, cowardly thugs.

But I will not shop and leave my honestly earned money anywhere where I am treated as a potential thief.

John Lewis is definitely bad for this, shop assistants are often rude and not bothered but follow you with their eyes to catch you thieving something from their ultra boring range.

I enjoy shopping in actual stores and supermarkets but will not tolerated treated as a would be thief. They need better systems, AI, cameras, what not.

And anyone shop lifting with their baby in a pram, what an example to set you lo 😏

My recent experience of shops is that they rarely check the numbers in and out, including John Lewis / Peter Jones, M & S, Massimo Dutti and the White Company. Perhaps it’s because they recognise me and I only have one or two items and am nipping in after work in the last hour before closing. No children or pram / pushchair. This thread has been illuminating about shoplifting. Very depressing as we all pay the cost of this dishonesty, not only in terms of higher costs but in the quality of the shopping experience. Must be horrible for the staff.

Some of the comments here are so disappointing, why are so many women happy to throw other women under the bus.

In my time in retail I have seen men (and it is mostly men) stuff barbie dolls into their trousers (on more than one occasion) and into thier jackets. Things get stuffed into pockets and handbags. I have even had people empty a shelf into a basket and walk out of the store.

Why then are the strictest inconveniences to prevent shoplifting imposed on women just trying to go about their day?

At the M&S close to me, they have security ‘gates’ at the toilet corridor entrance. Like the ones where you go out, I don’t know what they are called. But you couldn’t go to the toilets without setting off the alarm.

This, I can't imagine trying to wedge a buggy into a little changing cubicle? She was asleep id just have left her outside the cubicle itself with the curtain /door an inch or two open so I could see her. She'd have been a foot away, tops. I've never seen anyone try and get an entire buggy into a cubicle!!

Would those saying oh well, would you be happy to leave your coats, handbags and other shopping with the assistant in the changing rooms? Since those are so often used in shoplifting.

This. How rude of them. And how dare they automatically assume that mums with prams steal. I’d take this further.

@MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack @firstofallimadelight

and the others that are honest and don’t get it.

The baby was only outside the cubicle not in the shop itself. The staff member was keeping an eye out that no one else moved the buggy and not offering to child sit.

Shops have at least one larger changing cubicle and I have always been offered this when I take my baby in. Why do you think the solution for business losing money is for women to risk leaving their babies or for them to lose dignity by changing with the curtain open?

It’s better than making a judgement on a case by case basis though! No you look like you might steal, no changing room for you. Step aside for this lady who has a nice honest face please.

Shops know people use prams to steal, it’s not an assumption.

I wouldn't leave my handbag in the care of a random shop assistant, let alone a baby!

I'm not disparaging shop assistants but anything could happen - they could get called away by the manager - you have no idea how diligent they are.

If they're really worried, why not ask if you're OK for them to check the buggy when you leave?

@Missey85 Unless they plan to search the pram, refusing to let her take it into the cubicle wouldn’t make any difference.

But if OP has already stashed a pile of goods in the bottom of the pram that she intends to steal before going into the changing room, what's the point of stopping her taking the pram in with her?

Giving customers a card with the number of items they are trying on, and then ensuring that they still have that number of items on a hanger when they come back out - that's the security measure to ensure people aren't using the privacy of the changing room to hide goods in prams. But when I worked in a supermarket, this was also a problem, so changing rooms aren't really necessary to pull this off - maybe John Lewis should ban prams from their stores entirely, to be on the safe side?

Edit meant to quote @Missey85 but something went wrong

Why doesn’t it?

But do people using prams to steal do so in changing rooms when the number of goods they are taking in and out is checked? If so, how?

Isn't it obvious? If they don't let her into the cubicle, she just leaves the shop - with the previously stolen stuff still secure in the pushchair.