Stopped from taking my child into a changing room.

[LemingsLemon]

went to my local John Lewis today- more to buy some things for DD, but found a blouse that was on sale so decided to try it on

Went to the changing rooms- I had 3 items for DD (2 dresses and a pair of trousers) and the blouse. Went over to the changing rooms, pleasantries exchanged and attendant handed me a card with my number of items. DD was fast asleep in her small, umbrella fold buggy. Changing rooms are quite large- could have fit me and DD in th buggy in there with room for me to try items on.

Assistant stopped me as I was pushing her into a cubicle and explained it wasn’t allowed. Apparently in case I stole something and stashed it in the pram?!!? Assistant offered to keep an eye on DD for a few minutes while I tried my blouse on. I said I don’t know you, why would I trust a stranger with my daughter unsupervised. Assistant called a manager over who asked me to leave.

Safe to say I won’t be going back

AIBU to think this is batshit?

Tag remover and goods hidden in pushchair. Tags removed from hidden items once in the cubicle, all hidden again, clothes "to try on" returned, and thief walks out through security barriers.

We all have to be treated like thieves when people behave like that.

John Lewis gets more and more bonkers. I stopped going in there years ago. I do shop online with them, but imagine the cost of processing my returns is far higher than if they provided a clean and safe store and suitable fitting rooms.

Remove tags

Their reasoning doesn't make any sense. Presumably she could see you only had one blouse and would therefore know when you come out if you'd stashed it. If you'd already stashed items in the pram then the changing room makes no difference.

Definitely email them.

I do think it’s bonkers. But I also do wonder a bit what you think might have happened to your dd being watched for a couple of minutes in a shop with you in earshot.

I really can't imagine in this day and age that a company would be happy with an employee assuming responsibility for a child, even for a few minutes.

It does sound a bit extreme….after all, the assistant had given you a numbered card for the items you’d selected. Take it higher up the JL management chain, you deserve an apology at the very least.

I have never had this and taken a pram into a changing room many times. Awful

It sounds like they need a coherent policy for prams and buggies. The days when parents left prams outside shops are long over and I agree that the shop wouldn't have been happy with a staff member taking responsibility for a child.

What does “in this day and age” mean here?

For all she knew, you already had lots of shoplifted items in the pram and were planning to go into the changing room and dress your baby in layers of the stolen clothes, take labels, etc, off, put her back in the pram and walk back out, apparently with the same number of clothes you had on the pass she gave you, but actually with far more than that, but now concealed more effectively. To ask customers not to take prams and pushchairs in with them is far less invasive than to insist on searching them and the pushchair before you let them into the changing room, search everything when they come out again, and check in, eg, any boxes of bras or underwear to ensure they haven’t shoved their old things in there and are walking out with the new stuff, pretending they have decided they don’t want what they went in to try on.

Basically, if you actually bothered to think about it, rather than act the professional victim, there is no bloody way she wanted to have to keep an eye on your baby, so she clearly had a good reason to offer to do that anyway in order to stop you taking your massive shoplifting device into the one area of the store you knew would not have CCTV trained on you.

There’s a shoplifting epidemic so whilst I don’t agree with it I understand and would accept it .

Things are obviously not the same as they were a generation ago. I can remember attending ultrasound appointments when my DM was pregnant and a nice lady (HCA?) keeping an eye on me. It was made very clear that this wasn't an option for me when I had children.

But you had a card with your number of items on? So as long as you brought 4 items back out what’s the issue?

I'd have never been allowed to do this as a Black woman and I'd never have tried.

Companies are much more risk aware and protect themselves against those risks. Like shoplifting. And staff keeping an eye on children. This would happen informally in the past but wouldn't be allowed now. Which I can understand.

So many people missing the shoplifting tactics completely.

Its not that someone declares four items, takes four in, stashes three in the pram and comes out with one.

It’s that others are already stashed and the changing cubicle is used to improve that, or swap low value for high value, or remove tags.

The end cubicle and leaving curtain / door ajar works well.

My eldest sibling gave me a piece of advice when I had my baby.
"Never shop anywhere where they want you to leave your baby outside".

Those people suggesting leaving the baby outside can bugger right off.

So is the assistant going to rifle through the pram to check while the OP is in the changing room?

It makes no sense. If they count the items going into the changing room and count the items going out, then there is no issue. If the OP has secretly stashed additional items in the pram, then those items will still be there when she emerges from the changing room even if the pram is sat outside under the watchful eyes of the shop assistant.

But they could check if that was an issue? Look under the pushchair? And they counted the items anyway. It would make more sense to say it was for space reasons or whatever, not that they should ever suggest or accept watching a child in their pushchair, too much risk exposure

But if all of the stuff is hidden anyway, couldn't a committed shoplifter equally do all of that in the loo or in the baby changing area anyway?

There's no law protecting mothers with children in prams...

"But you had a card with your number of items on? So as long as you brought 4 items back out what’s the issue?"

So many posters need to rtft

Multiple posters have explained how shoplifters routinely use prams to steal goods while still bringing out the 4 items they went in with....

I think the shop knows more about the behaviours of committed shoplifters than you do.

You can still be black/Nigerian/mixed race AND be racist don't you know!! I worked with an African woman who bullied her fellow countryman, and when challenged, she spat out, "She wouldn't be allowed to clean my shoes back home". Apparently she was a lower caste and there fore could be abused.