Returning to work after mat leave feeling unwanted

[Working95]

Hello

I am on maternity leave due to return Mid-May. The first two weeks of May are annual leave.

When I return, I have requested to reduce my hours. And have my working from home days written into my contract. I used to work two days per week from home 2 years before pregnancy. I also requested to extend my maternity leave.

I submitted my flexible work application Mid December. I was told instantly it was accepted and that a contract would follow early January as the service would close over Christmas. Early January I had a chat with my manager who confirmed again that it had been agreed and he would make enquiries to get a new contract to me.

Since then, I have received nothing. I have chased every few weeks to be told that he is waiting on xyz from finance manager. After months of this, I contacted Finance manager a few weeks go who said they were unaware of any changes and havent been asked to provide anything.

I dont want to be this person but I am feeling anxious at returning from a long period away (first baby) and I have so much guilt about returning and putting baby into nursery (nothing to do with employer i get thats my responsibility) but this is making it seem unpleasant. Like I am not wanted back or not a priority.

I am the HR director so have told them multiple times that they have 2 months to respond and give an outcome to a flexible work request and that they are currently in breach of this policy. My replacement seems unbothered by this and keeps telling me "but its been agreeed". I just dont understand how its 5 months later and they are unable to document it.

What would you do? I have drafted an email to say I wont be working anymore keeping in touch days until it is sorted out. I also said that given I am in a no pay period I trust it is going to be processed accordingly or I will take it further.

Dh, dm and friends thinks i am making something out of nothing but it feels off and I wouldnt allow this to happen to someone if I were there.

Thank you

It COULD be constructive dismissal. If there are OTHER factors at play!!
And also, not following policies and procedures can create a hostile environment....
And yes I am aware of that. I have forgotten some HR / work things since being away and my mind has shifted from sometimes common sense to "mummy" 24/7. This post has been helpful.
I will only reply to HR professions regarding the hostile environment as other people, no offense, are taking my comments too literal when i have been very clear and in all honesty dont know what they are talking about.

in all honesty dont know what they are talking about.

That would be you.

But you dont know because what you have said is incorrect.

I'm not getting into a back and forth as you've shown your poor knowledge very clearly throughout the thread. Good luck with your return.

Why not just admit that the comments about a hostile environment and constructive dismissal were ill judged, perhaps due to you having been away from work and anxious about your return?

Arguing that an administrative delay might be part of a constructive dismissal case in the context of other issues is surely pointless when those other issues appear to be completely hypothetical. As an HR professional, you must be aware that an administrative delay of a couple of months in relation to something that had already been confirmed in writing would not in any way touch the threshold for constructive dismissal in and of itself? So what was the point of bringing it into the conversation in the first place?

No doubt someone who doesnt work in HR telling me my HR knowledge is wrong.
Enjoy your day!

I can't argue with stupid anymore.

What is stupid about my post?

But i will bite one last time.
I brought it into conversation to say I would be highlighting the risks to the manager for not sticking to policy/procedure for no good reason. It was me saying I would highlight the risk! Obviously it would depend on other factors too how likely / unlikely the risk would be.
What do you both do for work?

No doubt someone who doesnt work in HR telling me my HR knowledge is wrong.

To be honest, we don't have many bright sparks in the HR team where I work - including the Director of HR - so not responding to people who don't work in HR seems short-sighted

Maybe they don't want to issue the contract till your return. I've discovered from MN that an employer contacting someone who's on mat leave is tantamount to assault

That you keep missing the point and you dont know what you are talking about.
HR is sometimes about hypoethical situations... ie I advise this so xyz doesnt happen, dont do that as it runs the risk of xyz taking place.
If it wasnt sometimes hypoethical then it wouldnt be proactive would it?

I am happy to reply to non hr people its the people telling me my hr knowledge is wrong. Happy for hr professionals to tell me otherwise. If these posters are in hr then i am happy to discuss as i dont have all the answers. But its the posters who are just saying its incorrect with no reasons. Probably because coronation Street ran a storyline where someone mentioned tribunal or what not. So I wont be discussing hr queries with those people.
Maybe. But I am going to email them my request and what I believe has been accepted. Then that'll be that (hopefully). Thank you

Also you cant just say oh well, its delayed as we havent bothered contacting payroll / we forgot. Soz, lol. You need to have a good reason for delays and it has to be mutually agreed by both parties.
So what my employer should have said is- we are sorry we havent got your contract to you, we havent reached out to payroll yet to confirm xyz. We will be reaching out now and will in touch when payroll confirms. This might mean a delay to the timescale. Hopefully you are okay for the timeframe to be delayed while we gather all necessary information. If not, please get in touch and we can discuss further.

I hear you op. This would drive me insane too. I wouldnt be able to relax until its confirmed in writing (and I too cried for about 6 months dropping first dc off to nursery, many years ago)

I'm not missing the point though. I understand what you're saying, I just don't agree with your approach, and it's frankly irrelevant as to what you would advise managers dealing with a serious employment dispute because that isn't the situation here - indeed, you only introduced that caveat afterwards in response to people pointing out that your original comments about hostile environments/constructive dismissal were ridiculous.

HR advice should be sensible and proportionate. Of course, that should include being proactive and dealing in hypotheticals where appropriate, but it does not mean introducing worst-case scenario hypothetical risks where they are not relevant, and nor does it mean catastrophising unnecessarily.

As stated above, I would expect my HR Director to flag it up if there was a risk that we were going to breach policy or indeed if we had already breached it. However, I would expect them to give me an honest and realistic assessment of the risk in that scenario and not leap to talking about constructive dismissal in cases where it clearly wasn't relevant.

Obviously, if a breach occurred in the context of a serious employment dispute where there was already a genuine risk of a constructive dismissal claim, then I would expect that we would have already had that discussion in any case, and it would be reasonable to highlight the fact that any breach of policy might potentially add to this risk. But as there does not seem to be any bigger picture here, I maintain my view that it is irrelevant and I have no idea why you brought it up in the first place.

From what you've said, I wonder if you are perhaps in the habit of using the threat of constructive dismissal in situations where it really isn't relevant in order to try and get compliance from managers with policies and timelines. I would not be happy with that approach from my HR Director, and if there was a problem with getting managers to comply, I would instead expect them to be proposing solutions for how we could go about driving cultural change within the company to ensure better compliance with our policies and procedures.

If you raise the risk of constructive dismissal in response to every little issue, then the real danger is that everyone will stop taking your advice seriously. And that isn't desirable for any company.

I don't know why you're so keen to dig yourself into a hole here, because it's just making you look a bit incompetent.

I am not disputing that your company has fucked up here. Clearly their systems are not functioning effectively right now. But as an HR manager, I would expect you to deal with this in a rational, professional and proportionate manner, without bandying around terms like constructive dismissal. You said earlier that perhaps your anxiety had sent you into overdrive, and perhaps that is indeed the case, but then why keep trying to defend what was obviously a bit of a stupid comment. Just say that you were pissed off and venting your annoyance, and we'll get it.

I was pissed off but I didnt say any stupid comment. You keep going on and on about this. What are you trying to prove?
You admit my company has fucked up. Leave it there. You clearly dont have any experience as you take your advice from an hr manager/director so I will only debate this with someone who gives the advice.

I also only catastrophise with people who are repeat offenders or who dont get it.

I employ the HR Director. And I would fire them if they were unprofessional or prone to giving bad advice.

Thankfully, my HR Director is excellent so I won't be needing the services of an employment solicitor any time soon.

This confirms what I suspected - you're using the threat as a tool to manage the managers instead of actually dealing with the issue properly. Poor practice imo.

You dont know anything about me or how I am at work. This has made me feel even more better about returning. Random people telling me I'm shit at my job. You've achieved what you set out to achieve.. belittling someone. So well done you. I wont be replying anymore.

And before you comment or think to yourself, she is going now because she is wrong, no. I am not replying further for my mental sanity. I am done communicating with you. You have done nothing but pick apart everything I have said about my work knowledge. Given its mumsnet where we are meant to support one another and on a thread where I said I am anxious about returning to work, I find your approach and end goal strange. I do hope you have a good day.

You're right, I know absolutely nothing about how you are at work. I can only judge on the basis of what you've put here. That's how it works on an Internet forum.

And I'm not trying to belittle you, but I do think people need to be careful about what they say online when they are claiming to be an expert - you might know that the threshold for proving constructive dismissal is actually very high, but if people hadn't challenged you on your comments, then there might well be others reading this thread who would have taken away the idea that they could potentially claim constructive dismissal on the basis of a relatively minor procedural error. And that would not necessarily be in their interests.

I get that you're anxious about your return to work and frustrated by the administrative incompetence, but it would have been better to acknowledge that you were just venting and blowing things out of proportion a bit instead of trying to defend a comment that I think you actually know wasn't relevant.

Anyway, get the revised terms set out in an email and send it to them. Hopefully that will set your mind at rest and you can then focus on enjoying the rest of your time with your little one.

I agree with you op. So far it’s all verbal and actually no contract exists. They can very easily go back on their word. Why is it taking 5 months and why have they lied about the finance manager stalling when they were unaware. Sounds like something is happening behind the scenes and I don’t blame you for wanting your contract confirmed

She does have it in writing - in texts and emails - that they have approved her request.

Here you go again. Wasnt relevant. Stop picking apart everything I say. I stand by everything I said. If someone wants to read my comment, resign and crack on with constructive dismissal then thats on them. Particularly when i have said potentially and it depends on many factors.

I am respectfully asking you to leave me alone now. I will report.