...in being insanely proud of my daughter, but very cross with her sexist school and teachers

[duchesse]

DD at year 8 sports day.

Approaches (male) teacher in charge of 1500m race to ask if it is OK for her to enter even though all the other contestant are boys.

"Well, yes you can, but since all the others are boys, you'll probably come last, so just do your best and try to enter some girls' events as well so you don't get too discouraged."*

DD wins 1500m race.

*Some slight paraphrasing may have taken place, but that's the gist of what DD reported to me -AAAAARGH!!! Sexist pig!

And telling her she'll probably come last because she is a girl isn't discouraging?

YANBU- i'd complain.....
And well done to your daughter...

well done your dd!

would have loved to have seen his face as she crossed the finishing line

Oh, I shall be reporting it. I have the ear of the headmaster and a very particular axe to grind about precisely this type of occurrence in the school.

They awarded her 4th Form Athlete of the Day trophy.

YANBU - did the teacher make any comment after the race.

Glad to hear you're taking it further- good for you..

And if the headmaster refuses to take seriously, I will literally have his ear.

< packs matador's knife in handbag >

in general boys are quicker, stronger and faster than girls - this is not sexism, this is biological fact

I would be careful that I went in to check what the teacher said and the way he said it and not all guns blazing - knowing the way young girls can be that is in terms of telling stories

You don't need to say anything - dd did it for you! Well done her!!

It was like when ds hated (as he still does - and it's mutual!) he biology teacher, who said he wasn't focussed, didn't work hard enough blah blah. Ds got 100% in the exam.

maybe it was a boys race which he allowed her to run in as not to make it sexist but wanted to make her feel less worried if she did come last

physically known for boys to be faster than girls

no different to people saying boys are slower than girls academically mothers of girls think this is acceptable to say

where some boys are brighter some girls are brighter i really wouldnt read to much into it she won she proved her point crossing the finish line well done to her

what a girl! good for her!
her win made me

Duchesse, I'll probably be the lone voice here but it IS true that boys have an advantage over girls in physical activities at that age (less over distance events than sprint ones but still) so I think the teacher did the right thing in warning her of this. I don't see it as a sexist comment at all really. Well done to your dd btw.

For the record, it is an independent school which has been mixed only for the last ten years. Because there is a truly excellent girls' school in the town, traditionally the sister school to this one, there are far fewer girls than boys at DD's school. Frankly on gender issues her school is in many ways still mired in the 1980s. It certainly reminds me of my university college in the 1980s. Suffice to say that there are some unresolved ishoos there in terms of gender equality, particularly among the older teachers. I agree that taken in isolation, this incident would seem less crucial, but in the context it starts to look like part of a pattern.

well she did good to prove him wrong anyway well done to her

yes but Duchesse - are girls as strong or as fast as boys? Does any sporting body allow them to compete against each other - I think this is a sign of less sexism than previously shown by the school and I'd be pleased rather than enraged

see sexism where it really is and not in a teacher allowing a teen girl to take part in a boys race because that isn't normal

how did he react afterwards? I bet he congratulated her

I went to an independant school that had been a boys school until 2 years before I went and I met these ishoos regularly so as much as I can see what others are saying re. boys holding the advantage I can sooo see why it is a big deal and should be addressed speaking from my own personal experience.
My school never changed until the old headmaster retired and the new one never worked there when it was an all boys school so he made some changes and evened things out a bit.

The girls, because there are relatively few of them, are allowed to take part in any event. They were competing for their house and most events were mixed. It was just a fluke that this one was mostly boys.

Also bearing in mind that these are not top level athletes plumbing the limits of human endurance (and therefore butting up against basic differences between men and women in terms of physical strength), but ordinary kids with ordinary levels of strength, I think that actually the differences are less marked between normal, non-competitive boys and girls at this age than some have suggested. It is true that many of DD's girl friends are very unfit, some very womanly, and some frankly overweight, but she is herself tiny and slender and very fit, so at a competitive advantage even against average boys.

I think the question moop asked is very important to see how it could have been meant - Did he congratulate her?

at your daughter tho - I was always last, thought that's probably becuase I couldnt see the point in running being slightly lazy!!!

Dunno whether he congratulated her- shall ask her when she gets home later.

It's called managing expectations. I would find out exactly what was said - if he said something like "as long as you know that boys usually beat girls in this kind of thing" it's completely different to "you've got no chance because you're a girl".

"I have the ear of the headmaster" sounds a bit, um, controlling too. It's a sports day race fgs. Calm down.

I keep thinking of how she would be feeling now if she hadn't won, and of all her friends who are not as athletic, and wondering whether I would really want any child to be told that of course boys do better. You have to understand as well that this school, although it has excellent academic standards, values sports above academic success. So telling girls that they of course they are not as good as boys leads the girls to feel like second-class citizens. It's not about my daughter (she is quite feisty and self-confident enough to overcome), it's about the whole school's attitude to girls and the underlying sexism that prevails.

and of course the ear thing was jokey, sally- I know the h/m well.

Message withdrawn

In the 1980's i really enjoyed doing woodwork and especially metalwork.
When we were 13yrs old we had to choose our subjects and i wanted to do metalwork.
The teacher was downright sexist and he used to get the boys to join in to.
He even asked me why would a girl want to do metalwork?
Only lasted a few weeks as i could not stand their nasty comments anymore .
Also the headmaster aggreed that i should do something more "girly" so i ended up doing Commerce, all so that i could have a nice little job in an office.
I'm so jealous in a way for kids these days, they can do ANYTHING they wish but even then they waste their opportunities.