AIBU to feel hurt that my DH is treated differently to BIL?

[Justnetballandsurfing]

This is quite petty and I realise but it feels like it's more indicative of how my parents treat me and my sister differently. My parents got me an Easter egg and I got some chocolates for them but they didn't get one for my DH. Fine. My mother specified it was for me by name.

Yesterday my mother called and asked if my DH can come over and mow the lawn and do some gardening for her today as she and my dad have difficulty. He said of course. During the conversation she showed us the Easter eggs she'd got for my sister and her husband who are going over later. I couldn't help find it a bit odd she'd tell me she'd bought an Easter egg for my BIL when she knows she didn't for my DH. I didn't say anything and I wouldn't but it bothered me especially as it's my DH she called to do her lawn. She also never gets him a birthday card but I think she does for BIL and DH doesn't mind but it feels a bit dismissive of us. We've been married 8 years and my sister just got married last summer so not sure if it's just because he's newer to the family, not that she ever done so for my DH.

I suppose I feel a bit sidelined as I always get my mum a nice card and gift for birthdays, Mother's Day and Christmas and my sister just gets her a card. She's a bit younger but we're all adults and married so she's not a child.

Tell me if I'm being super petty to feel annoyed by this.

She was horrible to you and by extension she's jow horrible to your dh. I wouldn't be rushing to help her out in your shoes.

^^ yes that’s the truth

you need to realise you are not the favoured one your sister is - you and also your DH are just there to do tasks for her

That's rubbish for your husband and you. I don't understand what goes through people's minds sometimes. I've been in that awkward spot before, when in laws tell me they took other grandchildren to do certain things (out for a meal, get their nails done, or for a haircut, or even on a mini break), or bought them nice trainers/clothes, when they don't do that for my kids...it feels horrible and I normally just change the subject, but I honestly don't get why they'd even mention it....

Surely you can speak to your mum on her own as you are bothered about the unfair difference in treatment of your DH and your BIL which is why you posted. Ask her why she buys stuff for your BIL but not for your DH when he is so kind and helpful to them.

Your DH sounds lovely and easy going and wouldn't want to make a fuss. I still think you need to stick up for him, even if he isn't that bothered. Not saying anything just reinforces your mum and dad's opinion that they can demand free labour from your DH without any gestures of gratitude. They sounds really rude tbh.

Actually it is for you to make sure that your mum is treating your partner fairly and respectfully. He wouldn’t have relationship with her without being your partner. So put your big girls pants on , tell your DH not to move her lawn and tell your mum that if she wants favours from your family she has to behave accordingly. Tell her this calmly, politely but in no negotiating way. And then ball will be in her court.

You're not being petty. I would be pissed off about it too.

Just tell her that either she treats her sons in law the same, or she asks shiny new son in law to do all the things and leave your DH alone?

And your DH needs to say "no" - no reason, no excuse, just no. Or "no, i don't want to do that"

What is the worst that could happen?

Op it’s not petty your dm is though she obviously picked her favourite dc this always shows in the relationship with in laws. I think you need to say how come my dh is good enough to help you out but not good enough for a birthday card or egg like bil. Your hurt for your dh which is understandable your relationship with your dm shows by the way she treats you both. Good enough for jobs but not anything else. I would be pissed if and sad how she treats you both like doormats.