To find the growing narrative of over diagnosis (autism, adhd and mental health) upsetting and draining

[Frazzlesforever]

There seems to be a drip drip of press headlines and change in the conversation that too many people are getting diagnosed. And that some parents are being too pushy to get extra help or trying to get be benefits etc.

As the parent of a high masking autistic girl I had to push for diagnosis although the school just saw a highly compliant, quiet anxious child. My daughter is now extremely mentally unwell through not coping in school, has had to drop out of school missing her gcses, emergency CAMHs involvement - devastating for her and us.

She is exactly the type of child who would fall under the radar. Just an anxious child with over anxious parents. Apparently seeming to cope until she just couldn't. Surely if anything we need better understanding and support for these types of children not less. Otherwise we also risk kicking the problem down the road To severe problems in adulthood. - poor mental health/outcomes etc.

I would have thought that the long wait for diagnosis is likely to result in chronic under diagnosis not over...
Solidarity with all the other parents of high functioning children who struggle in ways people just don't see.
The whole narrative of you're doing well, you've coped, why label yourself is tiresome.

I don't think there's over diagnosis, however I do think there is over expectation for support. ND people aren't a new phenomenon (or if they are, we need to question why) so we need to look at coping mechanisms. People need to be taught how to support themselves (as far as possible, obviously non verbal etc this doesn't apply to). We have more information than ever, yet parents (in some cases) seem to put all responsibility on to school to support their child. I've seen parents in parks insist their child goes next on the swing because they're autistic, instead of modelling waiting and talking through why and how we wait. I know that's one minor example but the compound effect of modelling social stories etc would really help some.

You don’t even understand the basics of autism and yet you expect an autistic person with a condition that literally makes them unable to have introspection - to identify exactly what their autistic traits are- to educate themselves? Autism is an umbrella term for a disorder with dozens of disabling traits. Each autistic person will have a unique profile of some of the traits, each to differing degrees of severity. In comparison, grief when ´out of education’ is a million times easier to recognise, to educate yourself on, and navigate through with no help but we would not ever be so heartless as to tell a grieving person go educate yourself and figure it out, everyone loses someone at some point, you’ve know death exists since you were 7, it’s just a waste of time and NHS resources to provide any bereavement counselling, or any support, and employers should not be offering employees any funeral or bereavement leave.

If you tested every single person on the planet I would imagine their [sic] are more nd then [sic] nt

That means you 'imagine' that the majority is ND, no?

There is next to no support.

So we should not be supporting the disabled now- how lovely.

The ableism towards hidden disabilities on MN is frankly appalling.

@Halfblindbunny and Op I know it’s miserable when your child is so unhappy.

However a diagnosis might not have helped as much as you think. It often takes years to get a special school. Yes them being in their rooms rather than mainstream is less anxiety for them but it’s still a worry for you. And when you get a special school you’ll realise that behaviour support comes at the cost of academic aspiration. And that the others in their class have a propensity to come from homes either disadvantaged financially or parentally or commonly both.

Medication works for many but it takes time to get dosages right.
I think just getting out of childhood helps a lot. Being able to make more your own choices.

I agree. Parents, especially the neurotypical ones, often need parenting classes for ND children.

I think if you've got to 60 and been successful in life then you are quite capable of googling coping strategies

I think the narrative is upsetting because its designed to create doubt in order to make cuts to education rights or changes to benefits more palatable. Its politically motivated. And then a lot of people who dont have a good understanding of the condition wade in with unfactual views about parenting.

I dont mind professional talking about diagnosis as I dont think these conditions are in their final form. But usually this would be papers and studies in the field and not dragged through the press and misquoted by politicians.

That's not what I said at all.

The support some parents expect from school is overwhelming and beyond the scope of reasonable.

Some parents would really benefit from parenting classes from an early age for their children.

I absolutely believe at least 50% of the planet have either some form of nd or mental illness which is what I wrote.

The debate is an interesting one, isn't it?

All I know is there has been a massive sea change in my 25+ years of teaching.

And not just with the children, with parents too.

I don’t go on TikTok.

I just know that when I got mine, it was like the kiss of death. The we are tossing you on the scrap heap from mental health. Everything medically wrong with me was treated as attention seeking nonsense. It was an awful 6 years of being gaslit.

It ended up being PCS, cPTSD plus ASD not BPD.

If TikTokers are saying to fight for BPD, they have to be trolling.

Define successful!!!! Both need to have a significant impact on life.

So women and girls let down by a male focused diagnose process should just continue to be let down . Unbelievable!!!

You are the reason that so many of us later diagnosed women get annoyed. Your ignorance is palpable. My late diagnosis has been invaluable not only to me but for how I parent my children as I have gotten the help and support I need and therefor I can help and support then. A knock on affect which is hugely beneficial.

Never mind kicking the problem down the road... most of the family end up with mental health problems as a result of being left alone (sorry, care in the community) for mental health problems in in the undiagnosed child. My son was labelled anxious- until he had 3 years of psychotic episodes and horrific self harm - with very very very very little help. (still waiting after 4+ years for ADHD screening)Now after years of the trauma of caring for him, I have fibromyalgia and his siblings have depression and anxiety. Even more people for the NHS to take care of.
If only there had been some help for my son, it would not have impacted so many other people so negatively.

Oh so ND is down to poor parenting now!

I am 60 and long diagnosed with ADD, I had to go to war with my then CCG to be assessed, I wasn’t chasing medication and had succeeded well in life, However, my MH was falling apart because I struggled in work and even worse at home….i still do in terms of executive functioning,

When my son was born he grew into a child who was described as “very similar” to me as a child. There were differences, I read phenomenally early, he did not, I coped just about with exams, he did not. He is diagnosed with autism and ADHD, he needed a special school and at 23 cannot work or manage a simple bus journey without support.

I work but once I come home I go to bed….i have to, to decompress and refocus my brain. I am almost certain I am autistic too and that my exhaustion after work is due to masking all day.

So yes, a diagnosis or confirmation would be nice. However, I may never go down the path simply because I cannot now see it would be useful for me. I don’t need support as such, just understanding and the freedom to work in my own way at work. I have this already. But I know that my difficulties in childhood and adulthood were not due to me being lazy, crazy, useless or any other negative , they were down to my undiagnosed ADD and probably autism

I was missed as so many girls were. I welcome diagnosis just so we see that girls are autistic too, girls have ADD too.

That said, many private companies are getting rich because the waiting list for ASD assessment under the NHS is 8 years locallly. God knows what it is elsewhere,

What help and support have you received since diagnosis as people are saying there isn't any

I agree. My dd in year 1 is going through the diagnosis process for ASD and ADHD. She is very intelligent but struggles with some aspects of school. Since they put in support for her she is flying and getting top scores. Why shouldn’t she have support to reach her full potential and hopefully protect her mental health? With the right support she should be able to access higher education and get a job.

This!!! The NHS pushed for my late diagnosis because of the value it brought in supporting my very ill late diagnosed children.

If those figures are right, why are schools saying 20% of kids have SEN?

Something just isn't adding up.

Ok the 20% must include other disabilities but we also know there is an overlap between ADHD and ASD. So some people must appear in both the 2% and the 5% but that still makes me ask who are the other 13%

What are schools doing that so many kids aren't coping?

Again not what I said.

Some parents of ND children could do more to help their children, from a young age, with strategies that are googleable.

many women are misdiagnosed with a personality disorder where the real issue is ASD.

Because it's school that is quite literally breaking many of these children due to lack of understanding, awareness and effective support strategies. The modern curriculum exposes many weaknesses in the UK's education system for nd children, unfortunately. It's why so many autistic children are school avoiders. Some 80-90% of school avoidance is rooted in autism. Parents like me fight for appropriate support from schools because we see the results first hand of an education system that literally causes our children distress. Our children fall apart at home, our families are often ripped apart by the challenges we face - despite many of us doing all the research ourselves and instilling all the right strategies at home.

My dd knows perfectly well how to queue. She's impeccably well behaved in many ways. What she lacks is a properly functioning nervous system, a fact that still seemingly bypasses many armchair autism experts.