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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find the growing narrative of over diagnosis (autism, adhd and mental health) upsetting and draining

1000 replies

Frazzlesforever · 06/04/2026 08:13

There seems to be a drip drip of press headlines and change in the conversation that too many people are getting diagnosed. And that some parents are being too pushy to get extra help or trying to get be benefits etc.

As the parent of a high masking autistic girl I had to push for diagnosis although the school just saw a highly compliant, quiet anxious child. My daughter is now extremely mentally unwell through not coping in school, has had to drop out of school missing her gcses, emergency CAMHs involvement - devastating for her and us.

She is exactly the type of child who would fall under the radar. Just an anxious child with over anxious parents. Apparently seeming to cope until she just couldn't. Surely if anything we need better understanding and support for these types of children not less. Otherwise we also risk kicking the problem down the road To severe problems in adulthood. - poor mental health/outcomes etc.

OP posts:
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njird · 06/04/2026 17:50

Comeinsideforacupoftea · 06/04/2026 17:49

We all mask all of the above to an extent though. None of us approach every social situation 100% sure of ourselves or 100% comfortable with the situation. In fact there are psychologists that would argue that we need stressors to have strong foundations and develop into adults able to cope with adult expectations. Who gets to decide whether the masking is pathological or not? IMO one of the biggest disservices we're doing our children is raising them to think that they're entitled to only comfortable experiences. This isn't fair, it isn't human and it isn't realistic

Edited

one of the most sensible posts on this thread.

Imdunfer · 06/04/2026 17:53

dizzydizzydizzy · 06/04/2026 15:58

You are misunderstanding the point about Tony Atwood fitting the autistic
profile but being “unaffected”. Being adversely affected by the traits is part of the diagnostic criteria and you can’t have diagnosis without it. Autism is not just a collection of traits.

I think “autistic profile” is rather careful wording and IMHO probably does not mean that he thinks he’s autistic (he can’t be if is unaffected), but I think it does mean that he thinks he has many of the traits.

Besides all that, autism is only a problem if the environment is wrong. For most autistic people, most environments are wrong and are becoming worse (eg I find many phone noises painful and I can only avoid them at home). I suspect Tony Atwood’s work environment is perfectly suited to his needs.

It is really illogical for the experts to say that two people can have identical traits but if one is in an environment that's perfect for them and is largely unaffected but the other is not and is adversely affected, only one of those people can be diagnosed with the condition.

Elbone · 06/04/2026 17:55

T0mat0andch33s3 · 06/04/2026 17:47

My children having autism does not diminish or take away anything from anybody else.

Fluctuating support needs across all levels are highlighted by the diagnosis system which has mentioned levels for care needs so pick your fight with them.

Having fluctuating care needs doesn’t mean you don’t suffer all the time. Anybody walking in my dc’s shoes and ours as parents would see that.

The number of diagnosis has increased by 300% in the last 20 years.
If that trend continues, which it seems to be, there will be far fewer resources.

T0mat0andch33s3 · 06/04/2026 17:58

njird · 06/04/2026 17:50

one of the most sensible posts on this thread.

Not really.

Not being sure of yourself is nowhere near the masking that ND people struggling with autistic traits that cause significant impact on life experience. Hence the huge numbers of autistic people with severe mental illness.

Autistic children are uncomfortable most of the day every day, they know they’re not entitled to comfortable experiences because their lives are so taken up with managing autistic traits that cause a huge amount of discomfort.

tvde · 06/04/2026 17:58

Elbone · 06/04/2026 17:55

The number of diagnosis has increased by 300% in the last 20 years.
If that trend continues, which it seems to be, there will be far fewer resources.

Have you read neurotribes? It argues that autism and most neurodiversity is a brain difference, normal like any variations in human such as height, eye colour etc. neurodiversity causes harm to people who are neurodiverse not because they are neurodiverse but because society is not set up for them.
now think about schools, which were designed to be like factory production lines. Which have arguably got worse in the name of ‘progress’. Why do you think diagnoses have really gone up so much?

T0mat0andch33s3 · 06/04/2026 17:59

Elbone · 06/04/2026 17:55

The number of diagnosis has increased by 300% in the last 20 years.
If that trend continues, which it seems to be, there will be far fewer resources.

No it won’t because diagnoses does not equal access to resources.

Talkingfrog · 06/04/2026 18:02

youalright · 06/04/2026 08:33

I do understand wanting an adhd diagnosis as meds are available. But autism when you're out of education is surely something you can educate yourself on and manage without sitting on a 2 year waiting list. If you tested every single person on the planet I would imagine their are more nd then nt people but its a spectrum and a lot can manage on their own yes its harder but a diagnosis won't change that

A diagnosis could give direction on what support is needed, which could be helpful for employers to be able to give appropriate support.
Support doesn't have to be expensive, reasonable adjustments vsn be adaptations that cost nothing/very little, but mean the employee can be more productive as a result.
Better for employer and employee.

T0mat0andch33s3 · 06/04/2026 18:07

Talkingfrog · 06/04/2026 18:02

A diagnosis could give direction on what support is needed, which could be helpful for employers to be able to give appropriate support.
Support doesn't have to be expensive, reasonable adjustments vsn be adaptations that cost nothing/very little, but mean the employee can be more productive as a result.
Better for employer and employee.

The NHS task force highlights the huge difficulties and destructive behaviours ADHD causes. Our prisons are filled with people who have adhd and many people self medicate, self harm and engage in risky self destructive impulsive behaviour. The NHS group therapy I had was amazing and must save so much for the tax payer.

Imdunfer · 06/04/2026 18:08

T0mat0andch33s3 · 06/04/2026 17:59

No it won’t because diagnoses does not equal access to resources.

Surely it is the case that diagnosis makes getting access to the resources a lot easier?

Take ADHD for example. You would have trouble getting prescribed Ritalin without a diagnosis.

My friend's high functioning daughter got reasonable adjustments in school and now has help at Uni that she wouldn't have got without a diagnosis of ASD.

Diagnoses do open doors.

T0mat0andch33s3 · 06/04/2026 18:10

Imdunfer · 06/04/2026 18:08

Surely it is the case that diagnosis makes getting access to the resources a lot easier?

Take ADHD for example. You would have trouble getting prescribed Ritalin without a diagnosis.

My friend's high functioning daughter got reasonable adjustments in school and now has help at Uni that she wouldn't have got without a diagnosis of ASD.

Diagnoses do open doors.

You don’t need a diagnosis for reasonable adjustments at school or uni.

dizzydizzydizzy · 06/04/2026 18:11

Imdunfer · 06/04/2026 17:53

It is really illogical for the experts to say that two people can have identical traits but if one is in an environment that's perfect for them and is largely unaffected but the other is not and is adversely affected, only one of those people can be diagnosed with the condition.

In real life, you would never get 2 people with the same set of traits.

I think the requirement in the diagnostic criteria that says the traits must be causing difficulties is to make it easier to distinguish between somebody who is, for example, extremely introverted but does actually understand body language, facial expressions and can ‘read between the lines’ but is just not that interested and somebody who can’t do those things because they are autistic.

Kiminki · 06/04/2026 18:11

But if someone doesn't meet the diagnostic criteria for ASD/ADHD, then they are in the NT sphere, even if they can satisfy some parts of the diagnostic criteria.

NT is NOT an antonym of ASD/ADHD.

ND is NOT a synonym for ASD/ADHD.

If someone does not meet the diagnosis for ASD/ADHD (and if the do) they could be dyspraxia, dyslexic, have dyscalculia, high IQ, low IQ, be young, be old, be a teenager, be left handed, have epilepsy, cerebral palsy, schizophrenia, Foetal Alcohol Syndrome, depression, BPD, language developmental disorder, OCD, auditory processing disorder, visual processing disorder, be blind and/or deaf, suffered a brain injury or PTSD, have been exposed to with valproate, phenobarbital, phenytoin, or topiramate in the womb, experienced severe malnutrition or vitamin or iodine deficiency, have dementia or a stroke, have a brain parasite like toxoplasmosis, Lymes disease or an amoebic infection, have drug or alcohol dependency…. And on it goes. All of which impact how a person’s brain works and means a person is not ‘neurotypical’.

Nmss · 06/04/2026 18:14

T0mat0andch33s3 · 06/04/2026 17:47

My children having autism does not diminish or take away anything from anybody else.

Fluctuating support needs across all levels are highlighted by the diagnosis system which has mentioned levels for care needs so pick your fight with them.

Having fluctuating care needs doesn’t mean you don’t suffer all the time. Anybody walking in my dc’s shoes and ours as parents would see that.

Some people don't fluctuate, or don't fluctuate by enough for it to be recognised. There are people who are severe all the time, every day. By saying that someone who isn't severe all the time has the same needs that deminishes their autism and their needs.

Ofcourse nobody needs to have anything deminished, we could just use accurate language to describe people's needs. I recognise that some people are more impacted than my loved one, that takes nothing from him, I also recognise that he doesn't have mental health needs but has severe autism. At the same time I can recognise that autism can lead to or co occur with severe mental health needs. All of these things can be true.

tackytriceratops · 06/04/2026 18:17

Kiminki · 06/04/2026 18:11

But if someone doesn't meet the diagnostic criteria for ASD/ADHD, then they are in the NT sphere, even if they can satisfy some parts of the diagnostic criteria.

NT is NOT an antonym of ASD/ADHD.

ND is NOT a synonym for ASD/ADHD.

If someone does not meet the diagnosis for ASD/ADHD (and if the do) they could be dyspraxia, dyslexic, have dyscalculia, high IQ, low IQ, be young, be old, be a teenager, be left handed, have epilepsy, cerebral palsy, schizophrenia, Foetal Alcohol Syndrome, depression, BPD, language developmental disorder, OCD, auditory processing disorder, visual processing disorder, be blind and/or deaf, suffered a brain injury or PTSD, have been exposed to with valproate, phenobarbital, phenytoin, or topiramate in the womb, experienced severe malnutrition or vitamin or iodine deficiency, have dementia or a stroke, have a brain parasite like toxoplasmosis, Lymes disease or an amoebic infection, have drug or alcohol dependency…. And on it goes. All of which impact how a person’s brain works and means a person is not ‘neurotypical’.

Its a social justice term, similar to “disability rights.”

It has a place but not as a label/ umbrella diagnosis which is how it’s being referred to everywhere.

T0mat0andch33s3 · 06/04/2026 18:19

Nmss · 06/04/2026 18:14

Some people don't fluctuate, or don't fluctuate by enough for it to be recognised. There are people who are severe all the time, every day. By saying that someone who isn't severe all the time has the same needs that deminishes their autism and their needs.

Ofcourse nobody needs to have anything deminished, we could just use accurate language to describe people's needs. I recognise that some people are more impacted than my loved one, that takes nothing from him, I also recognise that he doesn't have mental health needs but has severe autism. At the same time I can recognise that autism can lead to or co occur with severe mental health needs. All of these things can be true.

It’s the care needs that fluctuate not the severity . Frankly I think levelling autism is ridiculous and it is being questioned. I didn’t bring it to the discussion

My Dc’s care needs have fluctuated but the severity of their autism hasn’t changed. It’s there all day every day.

tackytriceratops · 06/04/2026 18:22

Our findings also question the accuracy of camouflaging measurement tools, as these tools may also be measuring other behaviours (e.g. social anxiety) that are not only experienced by autistic people.

Dragonflytamer · 06/04/2026 18:23

I don't really understand why people focus on over diagnosis of neurodiversity in a way that we would never talk about an over diagnosis of cancer despite cancer rates also increasing.

There isn't a quota - if people either meet the criteria for a condition or they don't.

Nmss · 06/04/2026 18:23

T0mat0andch33s3 · 06/04/2026 18:19

It’s the care needs that fluctuate not the severity . Frankly I think levelling autism is ridiculous and it is being questioned. I didn’t bring it to the discussion

My Dc’s care needs have fluctuated but the severity of their autism hasn’t changed. It’s there all day every day.

Yes, it will be but it wouldn't be as severe (i'm assuming from what you've already wrote) as those who have severe needs all day every day. Not fluctuating ever, just constant severe needs/ autism.

I don't think we will agree and we're going round in circles taking up room on the thread.

T0mat0andch33s3 · 06/04/2026 18:25

Nmss · 06/04/2026 18:23

Yes, it will be but it wouldn't be as severe (i'm assuming from what you've already wrote) as those who have severe needs all day every day. Not fluctuating ever, just constant severe needs/ autism.

I don't think we will agree and we're going round in circles taking up room on the thread.

Nope we won’t because you don’t know that .

Kiminki · 06/04/2026 18:27

tackytriceratops · 06/04/2026 18:17

Its a social justice term, similar to “disability rights.”

It has a place but not as a label/ umbrella diagnosis which is how it’s being referred to everywhere.

ND is used as force-teeming. To give the weight of numbers for adjustments/recognition/legislation whilst denying these things to ‘neurodivergent’ people who do not have ASD or ADHD. To say ‘oh yes we are speaking for you’ whilst simultaneously silencing them.

T0mat0andch33s3 · 06/04/2026 18:27

tackytriceratops · 06/04/2026 18:19

Agreed and latest research would support the hypothesis that the concept of masking is shaky.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/41721649/

It really isn’t saying that.

MoreThanOnePostcardFromTheEdge · 06/04/2026 18:31

T0mat0andch33s3 · 06/04/2026 18:10

You don’t need a diagnosis for reasonable adjustments at school or uni.

This is not true

Kiminki · 06/04/2026 18:31

Dragonflytamer · 06/04/2026 18:23

I don't really understand why people focus on over diagnosis of neurodiversity in a way that we would never talk about an over diagnosis of cancer despite cancer rates also increasing.

There isn't a quota - if people either meet the criteria for a condition or they don't.

Cancer is a very different beast, but yes people do talk about overdiagnosis of cancer. It is one reason why doctors generally are against those commercial full body scans - because they may identify something that will never otherwise cause an issue in that person’s lifetime. But once identified the person is subject to harmful and very likely unnecessary treatment to remove it.

T0mat0andch33s3 · 06/04/2026 18:33

MoreThanOnePostcardFromTheEdge · 06/04/2026 18:31

This is not true

It is.

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